Can a bisexual man be monogamous to his female parter?

Heterosexual female here
I recently found out that the guy I've dated for 5 months "likes to bottom" I found out by being freaking nosy reading through his emails. I was so in shock when I found out and broke up with him immediately, It has been a month and he won't stop calling me begging me to take him back, he swears he is not bisexual but bicurious and he doesnt need to be with a guy, and that im all that he needs, He really seems heart broken. I love him so much and I want to believe him but my intuition tells me I shoudn't :-( I dont know what to do. Any insight?

 

So you broke up with your boyfriend because he's bisexual despite the fact that you love him??
He could have told you earlier, sure, but then again, what were you doing reading through his emails?

Is his sexual orientation really such a big deal to you? I don't mean to be judgemental (apart from the email thing), I just don't really understand the problem

 

Im sorry, I guess i missed to mention that the emails were from when we were already dating, that means that he cheated on me, he tells me that he was not in love with me back then as he is now, and yes I broke up with him because Im an ignorant in the subject and I feel that if he likes to be with man that means I dont satisfy him enough, I dont know :-( im really confuse and heart broken :-(

 

It's hard for me to understand how someone could be jealous of the opposite sex.

Edit: It's politically incorrect to say that bisexuals can't be monogamous, but as a bisexual man myself, I know I couldn't. I would say that goes for most of us. Bisexuals tend to be more sexual, period. And enjoy variety. I am not only unwilling to give up on my curiosity about men, but I desperately need variety in women even more so than in men. I'm not your family picture, two kids, two dogs, and two cars in the garage behind a picket fence.

I'm not saying that your guy couldn't be monogamous, I'm just saying that he would be an exception, IMO.

Edit2: I do know a guy from work, who is bisexual and is monogamous (with a man). I know he's legit because he hasn't responded to my advances.

 

Of course he can.

 

Jelouse to the intimacy he might have with another individual

 

Oh he cheated on you . Sorry to hear that, that sucks, I understand now why you broke up with him. He probably does need to get some action form males... If you are willing to give the relationship another chance, I think an awesome way to approach things would be to have threesomes. I would love that if I were with a bisexual man, I think that would be hot. So he wouldn't 'need' to cheat on you.

 

I don't know. I think a lot of bis are intimate with one gender, and sexually experimental with the other. I feel emotionally closer to men, but I'm a total whore with women. Go through them like a hot knife through butter.

 

I think you brought a good point, I woudn't mind having a threesome if that will satisfy him and make him happy, because I want this man to be extraordinary happy, and this past month I didnt think that could be possible with me, thank you all, you are really opening my eyes and just maybe this is not really the end of our relationship.

 

Oi, another one that sneaks through the partners emails, then talks about trust

 

I know

 

Yes and believe me when I say that I paid a high price for my transgression.

 

I knew a couple where he was bi and she was hetero. He was true to her but after 20 years together she ended up cheating.

 

I'm bisexual but only when I'm single I identify to what ever the relationship I'm in calls for. If it's gay I'm gay if it's straight I'm straight. I don't cheat and i Think it's wrong to. So since I won't be with anyone else while I'm with the person I'm with I feel secure in identifying my sexuality as such. There is a difference between being sexual and greedy and selfish

 

That's sad, but I think there is no guarantees that a couple will last forever regardless of the type of relationship it is.

 

Thank you so much, your posting really gives me hope

 

Update:

I called my boyfriend and told him I wanted to give us another chance, he came over and we made crazy amaizing love, While having sex I told him that one of my sex fantasies was to have a threesome (not a lie)and that Maybe it would be fun to be fucked by two guys at the same time, he was a little surprised at first but then he told me that his fantasy was to watch me being fucked by a guy with a cock bigger than his (which kid of makes me nervous cause he is a 7.5" anyway I told him I would totally go for it. Now I coudn't bring myself to ask him If he would like a peace of action with the other guy because he still won't admit to me that he is bi but I know he totally and I dont want to pressure him on to admitting anything. He admitted to me that took a lot of courage for him to tell me his fantasy.
Any advise?

 

^^This

 

And??? What's done is done and there is nothing I can do to change it now, Like i said before I paid a high price and with lots of tears for what i did and if he already forgave me Why should I have to keep explaining myself???

 

There is no advice, crazy amazing love eh? But not until you thought you were going to lose him. You said you'd been dating for 5 months, probably didnt put out for at least a month and then probably lame sex for as little as you could get away with to keep him keen for the following four months, and it wasnt until you kind of broke up that you actually threw your hips into it.

All that is going to do is teach him you are only going to put any effort into it if you hink he's going to leave you, a downhill slope, he'll just end up treating you worse

And add to that at the same time he,s got guys getting him off 1/2 dozen times as lionel ritchie says all night long, all night, all night long.....that dont try control him with sex and get all CIA with his emails.

You need to find a nice safe boring guy no one else wants to fuck and end up as sexually frustrated as all the other chics.


Or you could not try control them and actually have some fun