Heavy thoughts on my mind
The clarity that I now see
Trying to help the ungrateful
those who take me and my help for granted
my mind was mess for all I ever wanted was to help,
I guess I didn't for otherwise a thanks would have been given or is it only I who say thank you for your help it has been apreciated.
My mind is made up,
It's time to stop,
stop giving advice,
Maybe it is time to just stop time
My time has come
there is only one way now.
The choice I must make
Holding the knife so tightly,
I close my eyes.
I feel the pain of the blade cutting across my guts,
I know it will be a long and painfull death,
But I fear it not for I am ready.
How got to this point is no longer important.
Now there is no pain left.
I have left me
wating my mortal body die as I begin the acceend
I long for what's about to come.
I am Alphe and Omega...The begining and the end
by Rudyard Kipling
When I was a King and a Mason -- a Master proven and skilled --
I cleared me ground for a Palace such as a King should build.
I decreed and dug down to my levels. Presently, under the silt,
I came on the wreck of a Palace such as a King had built.
There was no worth in the fashion -- there was no wit in the plan --
Hither and thither, aimless, the ruined footings ran --
Masonry, brute, mishandled, but carven on every stone:
"After me cometh a Builder. Tell him, I too have known."
Swift to my use in my trenches, where my well-planned ground-works grew,
I tumbled his quoins and his ashlars, and cut and reset them anew.
Lime I milled of his marbles; burned it, slacked it, and spread;
Taking and leaving at pleasure the gifts of the humble dead.
Yet I despised not nor gloried; yet, as we wrenched them apart,
I read in the razed foundations the heart of that builder's heart.
As he had risen and pleaded, so did I understand
The form of the dream he had followed in the face of the thing he had planned.
* * * * *
When I was a King and a Mason -- in the open noon of my pride,
They sent me a Word from the Darkness. They whispered and called me aside.
They said -- "The end is forbidden." They said -- "Thy use is fulfilled.
"Thy Palace shall stand as that other's -- the spoil of a King who shall build."
I called my men from my trenches, my quarries, my wharves, and my sheers.
All I had wrought I abandoned to the faith of the faithless years.
Only I cut on the timber -- only I carved on the stone:
"AfterT me cometh a BuilderT. Tell him, I too have known!"
Deep within the darknes of my soul is a hunger,
a hunger wanting to escape the prison of self,
longing to cast away the shakels of captivety,
awaiting to set my spirit free.
within me is will to escape the life I live when I am awake.
I know the light is there and I catch a glimpse of it every now and then.
I fight to to be released, I want my freedom like never before.
I close my eyes, and dream for a while,
I feel the power of enlightment shine through me,
and I know the time is here,
I know my time has come.
Finally I am free
Separate names with a comma.