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  1. In part one I showed statistics for extramarital affairs. Men having the higher numbers of infidelity but women were close behind. That stands to reason as it takes a partner willing to have sex, usually of the opposite gender, in order to have an affair. So both genders have high numbers concerning sex outside of the marital bed. I also suggested reasons as to why affairs happen. After that was all said and done I find there are solutions to be had to prevent the marriage breakdown that occurs over an affair.

    Now that my infidelity is out in the open between us we opted to let me pursue sex outside of our marriage. We have changed what our marriage is called. In not so many words we moved our relationship from a monogamous one to a more open one. The level of that resides in what we are comfortable with. What that means is it is acceptable to purse sex elsewhere but with conditions attached. These conditions, rules, boundaries, whatever you wish to refer to them as are how we together accept each others needs and desires to pursue pleasure without involving the other but yet maintain a strong and loving relationship together.

    Marriage falls into two categories, monogamous and non-monogamous. I believe a lot of marriages would not end in divorce if both people involved would learn to address the needs of the other. I’ve shown that more than half of marriages in the US end in divorce. Plus it may be that more than half of the partners in a marriage explore infidelity within the marriage. The problem is the affair is kept a secret until the offended partner finds out. When the truth is discovered the offended partner becomes angry as the emotions come out. They feel cheated that their trusting partner ventured elsewhere for love and companionship which should have been for them. Feeling betrayed they become fearful that they may not be attractive enough or adequate enough to serve as a single source sexual partner. They feel unwanted being left out of this part of their partners life while devoting themselves fully to the relationship and insecure feeling their partner will want to opt out of the relationship. But yet are okay, even happy for their partner if the partner finds pleasure in other areas besides sex. An ice cream cone or a beer with his guy friends. Getting her hair or nails done at a spa with a girlfriend. These activities are perfectly fine but when it comes to the pleasure of sex that has to be done exclusively within the marriage. The point I’m trying to make here is I believe that if people were more honest with themselves and their partner and speak about having their needs met with understanding from their partner these things should be able to be worked out. There are solutions to all of this.

    There is a term for an open marriage called "monogamish". It was first coined years ago by relationship and sex columnist Dan Savage who is gay. He shared his monogamish arrangement with his long-term partner. Within this monogamish agreement they're committed to each other but they can have sex with others. It is not just a phenomenon for gay men as Savage asserted that these kind of relationships are happening more and more with heterosexual couples across the country as well. Monogamish is more about an agreement that allows for encounters within certain circumstances that have been previously agreed to. In a monogamish marriage you are committed to one person, the “monoga” part, but you can enlist other people for sex which is the “mish” part. Becoming monogamish addresses the fact that a lot of people want to be devoted to their relationship but are in fact human, and have desires to explore sex with others. It isn’t a license to do anything you want sexually and respect and honesty are still be the foundations of the relationship. It simply looks to address the fact that as a society we place a heavy burden on people to be something they have struggled to be since the dawn of time in the first place. That is being with one partner sexually for life. Monogamish marriages are not the only type of open marriages.

    These other marriages are increasing in numbers with varying styles to them. My spouse and I ventured into a monogamish relationship which is probably the lightest style. In a monogamish marriage an agreement is set and followed. We have an understanding where we get our needs met both physically and emotionally. Her needs are different than mine but we both work to fulfill them for each other. Other types of marriages are more open than ours. Some examples of non-monogamous marriages besides ours are polygamy, open, swinging, polyamory, and polyfidelity. There are many other forms of relationships but these relationships explained below are the most common.


    Polygamy is a form of marriage consisting of more than two persons. The most common form is a marriage of one husband with multiple women, who are each sexually exclusive with the husband. There are cases where there is one woman with several husbands but that is is rare. The key is there is a single person with others attached and the others do not venture away from the single person sexually. Neither does the single person venture away from the others.

    Open Marriage Other relationships which signify a primary emotional and intimate relationship between two partners who agree to have sexual relationships but not romantic relationships with other people together or separately. They may bring in a sex partner to share with each other or they may do it independently. This type of marriage centers around adding one person to the relationship for sexual purposes. Sub forms include cuckolding, wife/husband sharing, threesomes, or a combination of these and other scenarios.

    Swinging. Best known and the most popular type of marriage. Swinging is where both partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. They will attend a party or club where they have sex with themselves and others around them. Bondage, discipline, sado-machoism, (BDSM) can be practiced as well within this group setting.

    Polyamory Which is the practice of intimate, emotional, and sexual relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. Partners may move in or out of the relationship as they grow or change and the relationship is not only about the sex involved. There are at least three or more persons involved in the relationship and some or none may be legally married. It might consist of three men and two women or any other combination of genders. This type of relationship deals with everyday life issues beyond sex such as financial, emotional, and physical. They will even include the responsibility of raising children that are born from the other partners.

    Polyfidelity These are relationships that use an evenly distributed rotating sleeping schedule that determines who sleeps together and when. These relationships are similar to Polyamory relationships except no one sleeps with anyone outside of those originally involved in the group. This may be the most difficult arrangement as trying to maintain a schedule for sex among the participants can be daunting. If the group breaks apart the marriage ends.

    I have presented ways to remain with a partner for a lifetime allowing for needs to be met. Hopefully one can work with the other together and both enjoy the fruits of the relationship as they explore the sexual world outside the marriage. It can be a very fulfilling and satisfying relationship if the partners can agree to allow themselves the pleasure of the many sexual activities that are available without expecting total control over each other. Besides, as I have mentioned before, the human being is not meant to be sexually active with only one person for life. For those who are curious about how to make this work I strongly suggest picking up a copy of the book "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. It is a practical guide to entering and maintaining an open relationship where extra-marital sex in common.
    ozjohn39, westvacouple, PGA and 2 others like this.
  2. I have had extramarital affairs within our marriage. I’m not the first or only partner in a thought to be monogamous relationship that has ever done so. Many others, both husband and wife, have committed infidelity in the marriage and broached the subject of having sex with others outside of marriage. Here's some data to ponder concerning marriage. Did you know the percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America is 53%? True, and the percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional hangs in at 41%. Now the percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had is 57%. On the other side 43% of men will not admit to it or did not commit any infidelity. This tells me that the percentage is actually higher of those who did as I conclude that a certain number of the 43% actually committed infidelity in the relationship but refuse to tell. Along with men the percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had is 54%. 46 percent either did not stray in the relationship or would not admit to it just like the men. Therefore the 54% number is probably higher. The average length of an affair is 2 years. I was surprised by the fact that the persons in the affair hid their involvement for an average of 2 years? The other spouses had no idea this was happening and was there no remorse with either of the participants of the affair? For some reason I am blown away by this stat. But not all is lost as 31% of marriages last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered. The reverse of this is that an overwhelming majority of marriages fail due to the admittance of an affair. At least the extramarital sex had something to do with the failure.

    Now here's a stat worth noting. The percentage of people who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: Men = 74% Women = 68%. I am surprised by the high percentage of women admitting they would participate in an affair. As for men I can understand. Statistically speaking, men cheat for a single primary reason and that is sex or the lack of it within the relationship thereof.

    Human beings are not monogamous by nature. The idea that two people must be exclusively together for life is socially expected. If you look at the reasons behind this position it is less complicated to remain with one partner for life. But humans have sex hundreds of times for every baby conceived. We have sex for reasons other than procreation, and the human desire to experiment is far too great for many to limit themselves to one sexual partner for the rest of their lives. Each human has a different level of sexual desire. While one may need sex every day another may only desire it occasionally. Along with that as we age our desires change. A partner may lose the desire due to many reasons. They may be medical or psychological. The other partner may move their level of desire in the same way or opposite. It could be they do not change their level at all. The reality is no one person has the same level of sexuality as another. I have a much stronger desire than my partner which I must satisfy in order to remain stable emotionally. I can not comprehend a life without orgasm.

    We have many choices when it comes to our sexual behavior. We are one of the few if not the only species that engages in sex orally, anally, by masturbation, and other forms including sex with physical pain (BDSM). Many of us wish to enjoy sexual variety, but insist on sexual exclusivity for our partner. In that way we don't have to deal with jealousy when it arises because our partner found pleasure without us. We are blessed or cursed with the deep outpouring of emotion. Jealousy in an emotion that intervenes in our relationship with a significant partner. It usually rises the strongest when sex is in the equation. Our brains capacity for intelligence promotes strong emotions like jealousy. Human intelligence is far greater than the next species level of knowledge. A large separation exists between the smartest mammal on this earth and us. We have the ability and desire to reason, invent, explore, laugh, cry, celebrate joy and sorrow, along with a plethora of other emotions as we travel through our lives. What makes human beings special is our ability to do things that are unnatural. Few other species in the world have sex for the pure pleasure of it. Less have sex in areas of the body not created for sex or have sex associated with pain or other fetishes. People are going to do what they want. Some couples learn to create the relationship and sexual lifestyles that they desire. Then they find a way to fit themselves into the culture while they maintain their chosen lifestyle. Most people choose monogamy because of it being so socially acceptable. Monogamy is fine if that's what makes you comfortable. But it's also okay if you prefer to enjoy other sexual partners such as in a polygamy or other type of relationship. Diversity is good, and we should all be able to live as we choose.

    The general rule is that men don't desire to mate for life with the first person of the opposite sex they come across. And it's because of this biology, it's believed, that many men experience the natural urge to "spread their seed". Now to be sure, in the case of marriages or committed relationships, there is far more than just biology at work. Many men report a loss of sexual desire for their wives after children are born. Their wives, to them, no longer appear as sex objects, but rather maternal figures. Another widely reported cause is the breakdown of fun or spontaneity in the relationship. For example, for men in long-term relationships sex will become routine or mechanical. It's not the adventure it once was, but simply a means to an end. And so they seek that adventure again, that adrenaline rush, with another woman or women. Yet, another cause of men wanting multiple partners is more biology related. The inherent need to conquer. Think ego. It's reported that many men will seek sex outside of a relationship simply to see if they can do it. To see if they can convince a woman they are attracted to, to sleep with them. It's the "notch in the belt" phenomenon that while frowned upon in America, is surprisingly widely accepted in many other parts of the world.

    As for women, when it was explained to me how a woman might define what an affair is the 68% who said they would if they never got caught made more sense. For women an extramarital affair is different. Most women don't cheat for the sake of sex. It's a secondary concern for them. The number one reason they cheat is for an emotional connection. In more than a few instances, women won't even cheat physically. They will carry on emotional affairs where they'll fall in love and experience emotional intimacy with a new partner, while never taking it to the physical level. By physical level I mean physically touching another person, male or female, from just heavy petting to a sexual interlude. These types of emotional affairs can continue for years without ever being detected. This may lend to the 2 year length of affair statistic I was surprised by. Studies have found that in long-term relationships, women, whether they work outside of the house or not, often find themselves shut out emotionally by their spouse. Over 70% of women are still the primary caregivers for their children while also being the cook and the maid whether or not they work outside the home. This leaves them precious little time for themselves to foster a woman's natural urge to grow emotionally. This is an urge typically ignored by men whose primary interest is physical contact. The man in the relationship may become oblivious to this need of their spouse. Thus the longing for a different partner by that spouse who can see them for who they really are begins. And in the weeks, months or even years that follow, they may find such a partner or think they've found one who is better than their spouse. An interesting point to take away from all this is that females deeply yearn for the emotional bond and will strive to find a way to fulfill it. Affairs initiated by women generally last 3 times longer than those initiated by men but most of the time may be taken up by the emotional bonding a woman requires before sexual relations occur. This bonding may or may not be recognized by the male participant in the affair until the physical contact is initiated. Like her present partner or husband this new man is also oblivious to this need. And the cycle continues.
    westvacouple likes this.
  3. In Part 1 I wrote about ejaculating semen and frequency. This post is about how long it takes to ejaculate. How fast can you cum? I have been able to do it in under 5 minutes and staved off the eventual squirt for several hours. But I've never timed myself so I have no idea how I measure up to other men. There was a study done in 2017 by a dating site in the UK where 3,836 people, male and female, responded to the question "The last time you had intercourse, how long did it last?" Those respondents across the pond (I'm in the USA) averaged in at 16 minutes and 58 seconds. That's from initial penetration through thrusting and on to ejaculation and orgasm. Here in the US we last longer but not by much at 17 minutes and 5 seconds. According to the study the average is 16:34 and US Males last the longest. Canadians are 5 seconds quicker followed by the UK men, Australians, and then Indians - real Indians, not Native Americans. I thought it interesting to note that there is over a minute difference between the men from India and everywhere else surveyed. The dating site did comment that it is perceived that women of Indian decent have smaller pussies and most Indian men are not circumcised. Other parts of the world have a higher rate of male circumcision. So it could be that Indian men are more sensitive while fucking tighter pussies than the rest.

    Then this begs the question, how many thrusts across those 16 plus minutes of ecstasy does it take for the average man to get to that point of no return? The Royal Society of Open Science published a research paper called "Friction-lowering capabilities and human subject preferences for a hydrophilic surface coating on latex substrates: implications for increasing condom usage" that addresses this. Yea, they wanted to know how durable rubbers are while on a cock sliding in and out of a pussy, lubricated of course. It's like wanting to know how many miles the consumer gets out of their tires. Part of the research was to know how many pumps we men do when fucking on average. So the researchers found another study done where men thrust in and out of a pussy from 100 to 600 times before they ejaculate. That's a 300 thrust average per fuck.

    How do I match up? In Part 1 I wrote I may have had eleven thousand plus ejaculations with around 3,000 possibly ending up inside a vagina. Even though the accuracy is suspect I'll use the 3,000 fucks in a pussy as a gauge for measurement. If I were average at fucking and I believe I am way above average at fucking women and it's my blog so I can say that if I want. Again, if I were average as far as time fucking the pussy I have been at it for 855 hours so far. That comes to over 35 days spent with my cock inside a vagina. Now, at a average rate of 300 thrusts per fuck (300 T's x 3,000 P's) the total is that I have pumped my cock inside a pussy approximately nine hundred thousand times (900,000). Wow, and if I keep going I might make a million thrusts before I die. That'd be 334 more pussies that I'd need to fuck which, given my age, I may not be able to do. But hey, I'm sure going to try.
    Ralfee and Sissybrandy like this.
  4. Here's some facts about sex starting off with male ejaculation and frequency. Along with that I included where I fit into the fact window. Maybe more, maybe less. Let's see how it all stacks up.

    The actual amount of semen per male ejaculation is between 1-2 teaspoons full. The average number of ejaculations a man will have in his lifetime is 7,200. It is also stated that he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000 times and the total amount of his lifetime ejaculate will fill 14 gallon jugs. So I analyzed this and disagree with one fact. The fact he's only ejaculating 2,000 out of the 7,200 from masturbation I challenge. I expect the reverse being he ejaculates from intercourse 2,000 times and masturbated 5,200 times in his life.

    Now here's my numbers which are estimates only but for this purpose close enough. Besides it's my fucking blog and I can state what I want. I've been sexually active for 45 plus years. I have either fucked or masturbated an average 5 to 6 times a week. Sometimes more. Some times less. So I will go with 5 ejaculations each week, 50 weeks per year, (a couple off for illness, stresses, lack of desire, etc.) as long as I have been active. That totals 11,250 ejaculations so far in my lifetime. That would be a minimum of 16,875 teaspoons of semen filling nearly 22 gallon jugs. I do know I masturbate way more than I fuck a pussy so of those eleven thousand plus ejaculations only a little over 3,000 ended up inside a pussy, probably less. But that would mean I pumped over 5 gallons of cum into the women I have fucked. Hmmmm....... More to cum.
    PGA and AnyaZ89 like this.
  5. A fantasy written to be read to a Hot Wife.

    I stepped into the hotel bar after a late evening business dinner. I needed a nightcap to sooth my nerves from the marketing deal that didn't go so well. All I wanted was a gin and tonic, some small talk with the bartender, and then head off to bed. She was sitting there quietly stirring her drink which looked like a Tequila Sunrise. Dressed in a nice skirt and jacket combo with a soft white turtle neck sweater on underneath the jacket her look was that of a married woman on a business trip, possibly in a like scenario as I. I ordered my drink which caught her attention briefly and we exchanged a smile. I noticed her drink was needing refreshed and offered to do so. She politely refused. I could tell she had some issues that were bothering her but it seemed she might be open to some conversation so I asked her how her day went explaining that it had to be better than mine. From there we began to compare notes. I had her engaged with me now and all thoughts of the one drink and off to bed were gone. In the conversation I found out she was indeed traveling on business and having to stay for a few more days. I was to be gone in the morning. Things just clicked between us and by the third drink the flirting was becoming serious. She was now buying me drinks as we conversed. Then out of the blue she asked if I was attached. The way her eyes twinkled as she inquired made me think this encounter at the bar might lead to more if I answered correctly. I was honest and brought forth the pictures to show and asked her relationship status. She avoided the answer initially and I didn't push her to explain. I was smitten by her witty personality and soft playfulness now and thought I would chance it by inviting her to my room. To my delight she accepted and we headed to my room. Once we were in the elevator I moved close to her pinning her in the corner. It was then I asked her if she was prepared to spend the rest of the night with me. She responded by pulling my head to hers and opening her lips for a deep tongue entwined kiss. It was very wet and only broken when we heard the door open for my floor. Hurriedly we made our way down the hall and into my room. There was now a sense of urgency as once inside I pinned her against the wall and lifted her skirt to fondle her ass as we continued that deep wet kiss. There were no comments or questions about our intentions nor any apprehensions of what was to come next. She had my belt undone swiftly and I helped her out of the jacket. We continued to lock our lips to each other as we undressed. The only break was taken when I lifted that soft sweater over her head to reveal the most perfect pair of breasts nestled in a very sexy camisole and bra. Into the cleavage I dove as she grabbed my ass and pulled it to her. I lifted her up on the wall and I ran my tongue up and down her cleavage inhaling her scent. There was no hiding my erection as it pressed into her leg. She was able to drop my pants to the floor as I set her down. Our lips engaged again as I placed her on the bed. Pushing her thin panties aside I found her to be soaking wet in anticipation and with her coaxing me along I positioned myself at her entrance. With one simple thrust I was deep inside her swollen pussy. She took in a deep breath as I bottomed out and then I began to pump my cock in and out. It was at this moment I realized I had forgotten everything about the days events and immersed myself into her body. Now it was time to slow this down and I pulled back to look at her. She was beautiful laying there half dressed with her blond hair in total disarray. I had my cock buried in her and slowly stroked away. It was now I finally said something to her and she to me. My orgasm was building as we fucked. I couldn't help myself and I sped up my thrusting. She encouraged me along until I could take it no more. With one final thrust I went rigid and filled her warm vagina with my semen. She just laid there and took it. But that wasn't the end. When I calmed down I pulled out and slid down her body to explore where I had been. It was a fantastic sight to see what I had left and I couldn't help but move my mouth to her there. Sticking out my tongue I found her clitoris and began to swirl around it. This sent shivers throughout her body and I found a rhythm that would build her to the height she desired. She clamped her legs around my head as I continued to manipulate my tongue around her her opening over and over. She was squeezing tightly all the while thrashing about the bed. I had her and knew she would be feeling magnificent soon. And soon it was as she clamped down tight on my head, gripped the comforter tightly in her hands, and screamed out in orgasmic bliss. Her legs loosened their hold and began to shake and tremble as orgasm set in. I continued to suck away at her sex until she begged me to stop. When I looked up I saw a sweaty but beautifully ravished woman under me. She was panting and grinning at me as I came up off her. Suggesting we might get out of the rest of our clothes was met with no resistance. As quickly as we began we were nude and back in a full body embrace. I was erect again and she was wanting more. I suckled her nipples as a young child might while I fingered her vagina. She kept my cock at the ready by softly stroking along my shaft. Increasing my tempo I began to manipulate her clitoris with my thumb as I looked for her g spot inside. I must have found it as she began to wriggle and thrash about again. All ministrations to my cock were forgotten as she succumbed to my attention to her body. Her breasts heaved in my mouth and her pussy rose to meet my hand. She then clamped her legs together on my hand and came in a low guttural moan while arching her back. I stopped the movement of my hand and let her come down from her orgasm. When she had done so she looked at me and pulled me over her. Guiding my cock to her pussy she said it was time I was inside her again. I slowly slid in and began to fuck her slowly at first but being unable to control myself my tempo increased until it was such that I was banging my groin against her hard. So hard she was softly grunting when I hit into her. The bed was rocking as were lustfully fucked each other now. Knowing I had already ejaculated once I wasn't sure if I could again. That was not to be an issue as I felt the familiar rise in my groin telling me my cock was about to spew more semen. This time when I began to pump ejaculate I also orgasmed extremely hard. So hard I was sore for the next few days from the effort. She had did me in. When I came out of the rigid body position all I could do was collapse on top of her. I have no idea how long we laid that way and neither did she. When I woke my cock had retracted from her pussy and the result of our tryst was left on the comforter covering the bed. We hadn't taken the time to turn down the sheets. That is until now. I offered to have her spend the remaining night in my arms and she accepted. We slept. In the morning we woke together and recounted the night before. It recharged me so I asked if I might enjoy her one more time. She pushed my head down under the covers and I went to work. This time her orgasm was softer and I then climbed aboard. Ten minutes later I filled her pussy again. It was a perfect ending to a chance meeting. As she dressed to leave it struck me I didn't know her name. Amanda she told me. She said this as she stepped out of my hotel room and out of my life leaving only the memory of a tryst I knew I couldn't ever share.
    Emma Sweet, PGA and northwife like this.
  6. There are a lot of posts and threads regarding condom use. A lot of negative thoughts for the lack of sensation abound. I'm here to tell you I can tell no difference when I fuck a pussy be it covered or bare. It wasn't always that way. I, like many other men, had no feeling when wearing a condom but there would be times where not wearing one wasn't an option. I researched the art of using a condom for sex. The most important result of my research was in finding a condom to fit my cock when fully erect. The only way to do this is to measure your erection. Length is not an issue as most condoms are at 7" plus. You have to be mega porn star length to be longer than that. Placing egos aside very few men are. The diameter is what makes it fit well or not. Circumference is the key. You don't want it too big where it will come off. Too small and it may tear or break plus there will be no feeling at all and the point of fucking a nice wet pussy is being able to feel it.

    Measure the shaft and head in a couple of places and average the measurement. Place a string or flexible ruler around your erection, add the results, then divide by the number of places you measured. Don't try to fudge up your measurements to satisfy your ego here. This is not the time to brag on your cock size. If you do you won't find the right size condom. So put your ego on hold and use the correct measurements.

    Let's say you're like me and average 5.21" in circumference erect. Divide that by 3.14 to get 1.66" diameter. You will need a condom that is slightly larger in diameter say around 1.9" to 2". A cock that is 6.25" average in circumference by 3.14 is a 2" diameter but go a little larger for better fit. Why? Let's look at lubrication and you'll see.

    Many condoms come lubricated out of the package but it's not enough. Lubricate your cock generously before putting the condom on. You want your cock to be able to slide around inside the condom a little. Plus the friction of her pussy walls transfers over the material and the combination feels great. Without the added lube inside the feeling isn't as good. Same as with a condom the fits to tight. Be sure to lubricate her pussy generously too. A dry or lightly lubricated condom can irritate or numb her vaginal walls. Don't rely on her natural lubrication. It can dry pretty easily. The thinnest material is best but not that important. It's the sliding action that stimulates the glans of your penis.

    Finally try to remove the mental block over using a condom versus bare. A lot of the lack of feeling is mental especially if you have done the above. Don't worry about her not feeling anything once you are deep inside. Her vaginal walls have few nerve endings for pleasure. Just the first 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina are where the endings are. As you slide that lubricated shaft of yours forget there's anything between you and her and concentrate on her other areas of enticement. It won't be long before you fill that bag with your cum.
    Kokiri_Heathen likes this.

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