Spirituality

My idea of spirituality seems different from how the people I know use this term. Most people who are into spirituality have a set of beliefs that they try to live up to and judge themselves and others according to how how well they follow the rules of their beliefs. Well my spirituality is more an awareness of how everything and everyone in my life is a manifestation of my own mind. Therefore, if I see something in my life that I don't like, I try to figure out how and when I gave my consent to this unpleasant circumstance that is causing me pain.
As I dive deeper inside myself to find the cause of my pain, I start to let go of the material things on the surface of my life and start to see the physical world from a different perspective. I see how most people materialize out of fear and this leads them to cause pain in the people they relate to. Every so often a person at this low level of spiritual awareness comes into my life and I must deal with this assault on my consciousness.
On the surface this person comes on friendly and helpful. But from my deep level of perception I see that he gets no pleasure from the things he does or the people he relates to. He only gets pleasure from the pain of others. Because he is not attached to anything on the surface, he usually has a dark level of awareness by which he can materialize unpleasant circumstances in the lives of the people who are fooled by his friendly and helpful personality.
A deep spiritual awareness is the only way to relate to this person. I find I have to let go of the world around me and go to a level where I am materializing at a deeper level than this person who is trying to control my mind. Going deep inside yourself is a painful experience and the major problem is bringing your awareness back to the surface again in order to materialize love instead of pain.
For the most part I find when I do come to the surface again, my material world is in shambles and my relationships have all broken down. But this time I came to the surface to find my boy friend still there for me after a long period of absence. So I am writing this to thank him for being there for me.