Sleepless

I go again two nights,unable to sleep perhaps a moment..as my throat, it feels so sore, and my nose feels I breathe fire. I listen to music,so repeatedly, my ears are also so very sore..I do not fancy earphone so often. But this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA3Q1duzwaE ,


It makes me think of my mother, and I find it such a soothe, but also a heartache. I do miss her, as I will often say I do not forget..and she does cross my mind when I lie down,in such a darkness..but in that way she is with me, and it comforts..

As I have been so ill, and sleepless on top of it, I enjoy to have a tea...and with it, a few drop of lemon, and honey.. but lately, I find such a difficulty in walking, even to make my tea, as I have not eaten as well.. I am incredibly weak, and at every moment I am so nauseated, and the sight of food it sickens.. from this, I have shed about 4kg..(or 8 pounds?) as I check earlier.. I notice, even as I hold my cup, my hand trembled dearly

I am certain it could be so worse,and in many regards I am fortunate..but, it does still come as a misery for me, and I begin to worry..

It is sad, as I am certain my fiancée will also become so ill, but I try so dearly to avoid spreading such germs..I wash so obsessively, I do not kiss her (although I feel so incredibly sad from such) and I sleep alone on the canape.. but perhaps it will be so futile.. I hope such is not the case.. she is so great, and if possible, I would take all possible negatives if it meant to keep them from her.