Maintaining Positivity And Compassion For The Wrongdoers

Published by Bunnielight in the blog The Inner Illumination of Bunnielight. Views: 1160

Pretty unfortunate that my last blogs are no longer on here as I had documented several important events and such, but alas, I suppose that gives me a chance to reanalyze and reintroduce myself.

I'm not extremely active on here, but I hope the small amount I do contribute to this community is nothing less than respectable and thought provoking at the very least.

That being said, I have had quite a bit happen in the past couple of years. I moved out of state, back in, went through a dramatic legal situation with my sister, another with my mother, and had 5 deaths happen very close to me. I don't say this for sympathy as death happens to everyone in many ways at some point in their lives, but to express to you how real and eye opening my life has been over the past couple of years.

In such times as these, I have reached for comfort, for some kind of inner balance, for peace. In my search, I came across a book I've had for quite some time called The Power of Now.
It has given me a new perspective. A positive sense of being which I never really reached before as so much of my life has been flooded with negativity, irresponsible people, and terrible decisions. I had built up a great frustration and anger with this. Frustration so strong that it permanently damaged a number of relationships. And I only say "permanent" because two of these people have passed before I could properly teach myself to be a positive force in their life and reconcile things with them.

However, there are some relationships which are currently pending at damaged. One of which being my relationship with my sister. Some of you do know of this situation as I refer to her here:

https://www.hipforums.com/forum/topic/457949-my-sister-is-19-years-old-and-expecting-her-3rd-child/


Long story, short. She and I no longer have a relationship as I was quite blunt and truthful with her about the damage she was doing to her body and these children's lives and, again, she did not want to hear it. She said "good-bye" to me and in my fury I said "bye" back. This was the last we spoke. More people than not have supported me in this decision and had been wanting me to take that step for a while, while other more admirable people have expressed their concern and sympathy for her obviously unwell mental state. And then there are the other's who press on me the accusation of this being my problem. That people like this don't care who they hurt or take from and that being involved with them is obsessive and unhealthy for my life. That I should "mind my own business".

However, I would like to state, quite frankly, that I don't feel it wrong to have such a devotion for a family member, much less a younger sibling. Regardless of what has happened, she is still my little sister and it breaks my heart to see her seem so lost and stuck around so much negativity constantly. I love my family unconditionally; I don't love so that I can be loved in return. I love so that maybe those people can see to love themselves. And I wouldn't trade that love for the world.

And since I have finished this book, a more peaceful and positive mindset has come about me in my every day life. Handling stress and unreasonable people has become dramatically easier as I kindly refuse to give in to their negativity and only respond in a sincere and positive light on the truth.

It is with this mindset that I ponder my relationship with my sister and wish for a reconciliation. I want a relationship with my sister, I want the stability and positivity she needs in her life in order for her to find love in herself and pick her life up. Otherwise the only real love enforcement she has is that of these men that enter and exit her life as though it is nothing.

And if nothing else, I want it for her children. As I intend on being involved with them as much as much as possible and as long as things are like this, there is only major negative tension in the room when our paths cross for special occasions. And according to their foster parent, so long as she cooperates with her, she is allowed to come and see them.

All I want is to squash as much negativity in this situation as I can. As much as my own energy has power over. My question, for those of you older and wiser, is how do I do this? How do you repair a relationship with someone that you care about more than anything but are so manipulative? Is it possible to rid the situation of negativity and still stand your ground on their well-being?
  • ginalee14
  • Bunnielight
  • ginalee14
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