Little Things..

It's the little things that shape a person. Sometimes it takes awhile for a person to take a hint that you don't want to talk to them. Other times it takes awhile. I guess it takes me awhile, but I think I'm finally getting the hint. Right now things are chaotic. I'm still adjusting to my foreign environment. I'm not used to be away from my family. I've been around them for 20 years; it's really hard for me to make friends. I'm not the outgoing happy go lucky pretty girl type that I'm sure I seem like on here. Nope, I'm quiet and keep to myself. It's hard for me to trust, and once you break that trust you may never get it back. Yeah I'm a harsh person, but it's the only defense mechanism I have to keep myself from getting hurt. But am I hurting myself more? Who knows, it's hard to change something inbred into your mind. I have a distorted outlook on life. I am not denying that. I have alot of problems I still fighting today that I was fighting when I was 8. But I'm resilient and I try not to let things get me down...atleast for too long. We where talking about prenatal development in class today, and how environmental and other factors play a role in development. How we choose our environments and how we choose every situation we get ourselves into. I wonder how different I would be today if I hadn't been through alot of the things I've been through and how has that affected me today? I started out as a curious and happy child, but I've turned into this little mouse afraid of what people think of me, and how people react to me.