Felt Up During Portraiture (by a married man)

I won't post the photo here because... well... I have respect for the other person's privacy even though mine was not heretofore considered pre- and peri- feel-up.

I try to find social gay events that don't require any taxing activity from me. In other words, I don't want to go hiking and I don't want to spend much money to be in the company of others. So I have looked at gay male meet ups which tend to be at restaurants. Hopefully the conversation doesn't rest on the subjects of movies, theater, award events, or real estate. During one such luncheon in DTLA (downtown Los Angeles) I became the hottest ticket in town when I told them I was a federal employee. Everyone wanted to know if my job were on the line.

At the end of the meal, we moved to the front of the restaurant and posed for a group picture. The man standing next to me got a bit frisky. He knew I was taking the rail to the station where I had parked my car and he offered me a lift. During the ride he was giving me the heavy hitter pitch that he was looking for a FWB (friend with benefits). I told him I was only looking for friends. At this point, he told me he was married.

To a man?

Yes, of course to a man. What kind of gay man do you think I am?

I told him I wasn't interested, and he told me that he is in an open relationship that is sort of love-less.

I don't go that way. Someone gets hurt. Even if I never meet the guy and he never knew about me, I would still feel as if I were using someone whose love and intimacy are committed to someone else. And what would good would this do me? This would never grow into something meaningful for me.

It's nice to have someone's interest. It saddens me, however, that the affection comes from someone who--IMHO--is unavailable.