Father's Day (Why Did You Ever Marry?)

He was born in Bellevue in 1924 and died in the Bronx in 1990 (31 days short of his 66th birthday). By today's standards, that doesn't seem like a particularly long life. I have to admit, he always seemed older than his stated age.
He smoked Parliaments (with the recessed filter); probably a pack a day. Smoked everywhere! The car, the kitchen table, the toilet, the tub, the street. And before he lived on oxygen delivered via nasal canula, he was addicted to Primatene mist. Probably went through half a bottle a day. It's now referred to as a rescue inhaler. Can you imagine needing that much rescuing throughout the day?

"MAXIMUM DAILY DOSE
"The maximum daily dose of Primatene® MIST is 8 inhalations in 24 hours."

Finding the alcohol content online is not so easy as one might think. And you probably have a better memory of the alcohol content of Vitameatavegamin; 23%.

Here's what I found out about Primatene

"Drug Facts
"Active ingredient (in each inhalation)
"Epinephrine 0.22 mg with the purpose of being a Bronchodilator.

"Inactive Ingredients
"ascorbic acid, dehydrated alcohol (34%), dichlorodifluoromethane (CFC 12), dichlorotetrafluoroethane (CFC "114), hydrochloric acid, nitric acid, purified water"

Having loathed high school chemistry to the point of never wanting to see or hear anything chemical after that horrible era of my life, I was forced to look up the meaning of dehydrated alcohol.

"Dehydrated Alcohol

"Dehydrated alcohol, also known as anhydrous ethanol or absolute ethyl alcohol, is a volatile, flammable, colorless chemical compound with a purity of at least 99.5% and typically a moisture level of under 0.2%.

"Dehydrated alcohol is widely used in both industry and science in synthetic organic reactions and as a solvent because of its low toxicity and ability to dissolve non-polar substances. Medically, it is used as a solvent and injected into nerves and ganglia for relief of pain. Anhydrous ethanol is also used as an antiseptic to disinfect the skin prior to an injection, often along with iodine."

Father was a licensed electrician and dues-paying member of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) Local 3. I went to their website and was surprised to see some female faces. I counted 42 faces under officers and staff. Four of those presented as female. That's 9.52%. WOW! The times how they have changed!

He wore a uniform (Dickie's variety) and worked on Randall's Island for the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation. I personally cannot imagine having a job that requires being outside for such long periods of time. But he loved it. That--I realized later in life--was one of the major differences between us that was not always easy to reconcile. When he was inside he would sleep on a leather recliner in front of a television that was on. If a light were on in a room that had no one in the room he would become infuriated at the waste of electricity. For some reason, that same principle didn't apply to a television that was on with the viewer asleep in front of it.

He liked to go fishing from Captree (Long Island). The catches were almost exclusively flounder; a flat white fish with a gray skin. They were ugly to look at, but quite tasty when breaded and fried. But, isn't everything quite tasty when breaded and fried? I remember once being bitten by a worm. He thought it was funny and not only laughed when it happened, but carried the story throughout my life.

In the words of my Mother, "He has a short fuse and a low boiling point." Could get angry at a moment's notice. His face would turn red and blood vessels in his neck would bulge. And he would scream and call out the name of Jesus (which is very strange for someone who was raised in a Jewish home).

He retired at 62; probably couldn't climb ladders or be out in the sun for long periods of time. He got around in a power chair.

I never quite knew why my Mother had agreed to marry him. He had a job and a car. When you have grown up during the Depression, those things are important. And while they never had a mortgage during their nearly 38 years of marriage, my Mother never had to skimp on food. He liked meat with every meal and that's what the family got. Steak, lamb, and the occasional chicken. (Chicken to him was for poor people. Our grandparents only ate it for Friday night supper as something special).

As of today's date, he's been gone 33 years, 9 months, and two weeks excluding the end date. That means that he has been out of my life longer than he had been in it. Of course, the time that he was in it seemed ever so much longer.

He was the reason that I have always remained in the closet and only disclose on an as-need-to-know basis. i never brought any gay friends home and I never talked about anything that I was ever doing. I have always had jobs that were indoors and I choose to grow my hair as long as I can since he was a big fan of the crew cut. Any idea how horrible it is to have a crew cut when you feel your ears are too big?

Most of my waking moments go by when I don't think of him. His name is not particularly popular these days so I seldom hear it. Curiously, he had a nickname that was used more frequently that is given to girls nowadays.

People ask about my childhood; it's inevitable when Father's Day or Mother's Day comes around. I'm not going to say I grew up in an orphanage or that I was raised by a pack of wolves in Mexico. SHRUG.