EFL

No, not English Football League. For me it's English as a First Language.
This past weekend I was on the phone for well over 3/4-hour with the cable company clerks. I had told them for months that the bills are outrageous and that they needed to do something about it. They countered with, "You are already getting the lowest possible package that includes discounts that will soon expire."
"Fine then," I said. "Cancel my TV. Just give me cable."
She went into a panic.
She told me that she needed to confer with her colleagues.
(PUT ON MAKE-BELIEVE HOLD)
She came back with another package of 15 TV channels plus the standard non-cable ones.
I told her that my television viewing is spontaneous and that I didn't know the channels by name or by number anymore. She didn't understand what I meant. Again, she repeated the 15 channel option.
AGAIN I told her that I would not be put on the spot to make a decision of such magnitude based on options that I did not or could not understand since I don't know what programming belongs to which stations.
Again, she went was overcome by a wave of dumb-a** and said she didn't understand.
I told her that it would be easier to disconnect the television. Stop transmitting. Stop charging. Make sure you still continue to provide me with your crappy Internet service.
She reminded me of the 15 channels that could be mind with a simple selection.
I gave her a frustrated, ¡Ave María purísima!, ¿de qué clase de estupidez vienes? She finally got the hint. I was told that the change would be reflected on the online bill in 48-72 hours.
The anticipation is killing me.