"Ahm TAHD uh duh BOOH-shih!"

... or the alternative phrase, "Ah ain't gah TAHM fo duh BOOH-shih!"

You know what this means. Don't pretend you don't!

I identify as Caucasian (white, to you) and the speaker of the phrase is African-American (black, from Compton, to me). He has a(n) whole host of colorful phrases that I would probably never repeat. He whoops when he speaks (and that isn't on account of Tourette's syndrome or some other neurodevelopmental disorder). That's just how Famous Amos flaps his jowls or speaks his mind.

I've heard others use the phrase. Apparently, some folks feel free to say it regardless of their audience. Back in the day, if I had used a 4-letter word in daily parlance, I'd have been threatened with getting my mouth washed out with soap. (Probably with the same bar of soap that dear ol' dad used to clean his a**). Needless to say, such language was forbidden and I--IMHO--am none the worse for wear.

So what are our alternatives?

Well... I look to(wards) Hollywood for my answers. And some of the best ones are lines from movies that I like (or liked at one time or another). Here are some from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas:

“I got myself a pretty good bullsh*t detector, and I can tell when somebody's peeing on my boots and telling me it's a rainstorm.” [Burt Reynolds - Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd]

“I'm gonna knock you so flat, you'll have to roll down your socks to sh*t!” [Burt Reynolds - Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd]

Well, I'm not from the Lone Star State so these choices might be a little bit too particularized for my personal use. Guess I'll have to ruminate some on this.