a new beginning, and an end..

This week has been crazy. I've realized alot of things thanks to class today. I have horrible coping mechanisms with stress. I have started writing myself little notes that are positive so that I can stay positive and not sweat the small stuff. It may sound crazy, but maybe it'll be the only thing that makes me see how irrational I'm being. I had a funny conversation with my friend David. We've been through so much since High school.. He's one of the ONLY guys I've stayed in contact with from h.s. and I'll probably get a message from his girlfriend asking wtf we where talking about..ahahahha..it started with me saying that I should be a guy since I LOVE wrestling. And he's like yeah but then you wouldn't be a girl..and I was like yeah I couldn't tease all the guys. And he was like you could tease some guys..and I was like and I know some guys I want to PLEASE!! HHAHAHAHAH. from there it went on for me saying that I'm a bad girl and need to be spanked..and he was like you are naughty..it was just funny..and somehow it got into the conversation of nibbling and biting..hahahaahah either way it was hilarious.

I also told him about thinking of going on meds, he's the only one that seems to understand where i'm coming from because he SEEN how I was in high school. I told him that I felt like I was reverting back to those ways and how I don't want to and he was like "I don't want you to either, do what you need to do, I support your decision." that sentence meant alot. I'm still so mixed up about alot of things. I've gone from being so ecstatic to the lowest of lows in about an hour..if that. But I got to talk to one of my friends from online this week. She's a riot. If I'm not doing anything for spring break I'm so going to visit her..

I spilled water on my keyboard the other morning and now some of my keys are messed up. So I have to go and get a new one..and my tattoo is itching like mad. I know that I'm probably driving some people on here crazy because I have the worst self-esteem problems. But I am working on it..