hey everyone here is whats going on me and my fiance were suppose to be getting marrid at the end of this month but we broke up. we have a baby and weve been together for three years anyways he is acting really wiered he tells me that he loves me and the baby but he doesent want to be with anybody right now.last friday he came to my house and told me that he was sorry and that he loved me and wanted to get back together so i was like cool so we had sex. and after that he told me what he has been doing since we wernt together he told me that he went to a strip club and got a lap dance and that he tryed crystal meth. he has never done any drugs befor exsept for weed and he never wanted to do anything else befor. anyways i told him that i was suppose to have a date that night but i wasent going or anything since we were back together but he got mad anyways and said that a date was a date. and he left. then i called him and he was acting like he dident want to talk to me then he told me that he dident mean for anything to happen today and he said he was sorry if it made me feel like a cheap slut but he dident want it to happen and he still dident want to be with me. i love him alot and i dont know whats going on . he usually isent like this at all. do u think its just a fase? do u think he might come back. please i really need some advice my heart is broken. thanx alot . tawnee
i'd move on... if you're meant to be, you'll get back to together later, but for now just worry about yourself and getting yourself happy. i wouldn't count on him coming back and just changing into the man you want him to be... nto until he does it on his own i'm sorry
I regret to say that your situation requires some "tough love" Ann Landers-style advice. First of all, you need to remind your fiance in no uncertain terms that as the father of your baby, HE HAS A LEGAL OBLIGATION to you regardless of whether you marry him or not and that he has to clean up his act, pronto. Or else, you'll "lawyer up" and the two of you will have a date in Family Court (If you don't impress that upon him, your parents -- and/or the state -- likely will). Second, he's a hypocrite for treating you as you were the one who violated your relationship by going out on a date, yet he got himself cranked up on crystal meth and who-knows-what he could have done with the lapdancer at the strip club after hours. HE's the slut, not you -- and you should call him out on it. The two of you may never have the wedding, but nonetheless, your fiance has to grow up and meet his responsibilities as a father. He owes that to you and to your child. -- Skeeter
Tell him "If youre going to have a quater life crisis, than fine, have one, but you can have it without me, I have a family to look after"
It sounds like he's not ready to be daddy and hubby. If he's 19 now and you've been together for 3 years, he's probably looking at all the crazy shit his friends have been up to and feeling like he's missed out on something. Or maybe he just feels like you two have grown in different directions. I mean, when I look back at the person I was at 16, compared the the person I was at 19, then compared to the person I am now, wow. I would rather jump off a bridge than be trapped in a marriage to any of the boys I dated as a teenager. It's easy to sit there at 18 and think "but we're different!" God knows I did. Just about everyone I know who did that as a teenager now will tell you they had no frickin' clue. Basically, as others have said, don't hold your breath for this one to come back to you. Make sure he is aware that you will hold him to his legal obligations to this child. And follow through on yours -- don't try to make visitation difficult for him because he hurt you, because in the end the one you hurt the most with that kind of crap is the child. But don't let him slide on the child support, either. Beyond that, move on. Spend some time on yourself, don't just start dating someone else right away (unless you want a string of broken hearts and disappointments).
