Hey, sorry if this is a little long... so i met this girl last september and had a small crush on her, no big deal, but a month later we started hanging out like every night with 2 of our other friends - the other 2 were together, but her and i were both single - the other couple would say things like 'you both are going to end up together' and a lot of people thought we were going out and would say things like 'aw, they make such a cute couple' etc. - when the two of us heard people make these comments about us we'd joke around and say somethin like 'naw, we're not goin out, we just hang out cuz we have no other friends' or she'd say somehtin like 'haha, that'll never happen!' when someone said we should go out, anyways, our friends moved away in the winter and for the entire spring semester the 2 of us hung out about every day, adopted a dog together, went on a few trips together, etc. and i started to like her even more but had no problem with being friends especially since i didn't want to make anything weird between us or just become 'that guy she used to date' or anything, plus i always figured there was some truth in the jokes about it 'never going to happen' and i was leavin for a year after that semester - so we stayed really good friends and i moved back for the summer and she stayed near campus and started dating this guy about a week after i left - other than the fact that the guy is older than me and he smokes pot and drinks (i do neither) are the only reasons i can think of why she'd like him any more than me, it didn't really bother me any until 8 of us(including our 2 friends and him) went on a trip to a friends lake house this past week - i hadn't seen her in about a month before the trip so i was really excited to hang out with her, but she mostly hung out with her boyfriend, hugged and kissed a lot in front of me, didn't talk to me a whole lot til the last 2 days or so, and a friend kept sayin like 'ah they're just goin up early to have sex!' or 'you're gonna get him sick if you kiss him!' and shit which kinda bothered me a little, but i just realized that i'm in love with her and it hurt cuz she barely talked to me cuz she was busy doin somethin with her boyfriend who she's been hangin out with for the past month and then goin to connecticut with for another week - he's movin to CT now, and then in a few weeks her and i are goin on a trip to the beach together for a week and then i'm leavin for a year to go to New York for school - i don't think i'm so much bothered by the fact that she is dating someone else, mostly with the fact that she seems so much more happy with him and pretty much ignored me the entire trip and i realized i coulda probably made her happier if i hadn't been stupid and had made my move. so basically i realized i'm in love with one of my best friends, if not my best, she's going out with someone else who is moving far away now ( not sure if they're breakin up then or not) - i'm leavin as well but will most likely be movin in with or atleast close to her a year and a half from now, and we're goin on a trip to the beach for a week at the end of the month so here's what i need input on do i... 1. Just straight up tell her 'Yea, i'm in love with you, this is why i am and why i didn't say so earlier and sorry for bringin up so late, maybe a year from now somethin will work?' 2. Try to get her to ask me about it first by askin somethin like 'do you think we may have ever gone out?' or somethin like that 3. Say nothing, realize i fucked up my chances for the moment and hope everything is good when i'm back in town next year and worry about it then 4. Anything suggestions? she seems happy with the guy so i'm not sure if i want to say anything to confuse the issue anything, but i really would feel better if she knew how i felt - but should i wait til december when i may see her for like a week or somethin? i just don't want her to break up with the guy a week before we go to the beach and then tell her how i feel and then make her go through anything again, i just really don't know what to do, i'm gonna ask my friend tomorrow and see if she knows anything about how my friend feels, but i think she might like me still, or atleast used to like me a lot before the other guy came along.... so any help would be greatly appreciated, THANK YOU FOR READING! ~Dan
Yeah man that must suck........Id say only tell her that you love her if you are pretty positive that she wont react strangely toward that. I mean im only 14 but i kno that when ive told girls that i liked em and they only wanted to be friends things went sour real fast. If i were you i wouldnt be too obsessive over the issue...dont try to force her to love you cuz that never works. You can just wait til something happens or u could casually hint at the fact that u guys would make a good couple like "ahh yeah i bet we would be great together" or "wouldnt it be funny if we went out" judge her reaction and take it from there i hope this helps
It wasn't ment to be man. If you love her be happy for her that she found someone and be there for her. I don't suggest bringing up how you feel about her because most likely you'll end up feeling worse. Bottle it up, it will hurt for awhile but then it will go away.
well, i dont have too much experience like that but since i am sort of shy, i'm not sure what i would do if it were me. BUT, if i were You, you should tell her that you love her, because you seem like you really do, and then see what she says. tell her how you ve always felt this was about here and he your friends were joking around about you guys not working out, you wish you were. tell her you think she is making a big mistake with her boyfriend, and tell her that she means the world to her. if a guy ever said that to me, i would love him too. good luck.
_artequalslife, this doesn't work for teenagers. some of them still find other people's emotions a sign of weakness. at this age they're far more attracted with power, intelligence, vice, and other things that seem to point to maturity. if u can't forget her, then act like it. maybe this will do something for you although if she has a b/f it would be unfair to split them up. remember , he probably also has feelings for her. the truth is that u guys need to be a little more selfless. the world doesn't revolve around anyone.
I feel for ya, bro. That's a really cruddy situation, but I agree with Shirley. It's tough getting over anybody, especially someone you where so close to -- but it's a part of life. Personally, I don't think you should be sticking your nose into her relationship only because from what you said/described -- she seems pretty happy with her current situation. It sucks, through-and-through, but, as cliche as it sounds -- you'll get over it in time. Much peace, Ganja_Goo
yea, i definitely don't want to stick my nose into her relationship and i wouldn't say i'm dwelling on it and crying over it, but i think it's just that i know her and i would've been much better together and it seems like it was meant to be and i guess i just assumed it was one of those things that was just gonna happen and never got around to making it happen, but giving it a year or a half until i get back or letting her bring it up seems like the best route. thanks again! ~Dan
