To say the least it's a little embarrassing as well as a little depressing. At the age of 22 and still being a complete virgin in every definition known to man kind and animal kind and alien kind. (In case some one defines even "cumming" on their partner to become a non virgin, or etc.): I never had intercourse, never had a blow job done, never even felt a naked girl, never even hugged a girl, never even kissed a girl, never even heard a girl say she liked me, never even...well...like I said..... *Ahem* My problem? I wish I knew....... The best guess for me would be that I may read too much romance novels/movies/books/etc. (Serious drama kind as well as comedy). What I mean by that is, I try to know a girl for a while (3 months at least) and than if I see that she is interested (Or at least I think they were when I ask them if they want to be my gf) I would ask her to be my gf. Problem is....every single ugly time they had said the same thing "Your nice...your kind...your a good guy...., but I don't want to lose our friendship. And there are plenty of girls that will like you." To which I just nod and oddly enough they get a boyfriend "suddenly" whom they had never met before. (I still don't understand this part.) Than I am back to thinking "All these blasted romance novels/books/magazines/movies/etc. in which 85-90% ish are done by female authors are complete junk. They all (As well as friends/families/etc) promise me that once I get to know a girl that I would be able to find love or romance or etc." Or I am also told "When you don't think about it, love/romance/etc. will come." Or I am also told "You are the one who has to do the asking". Or etc. The problems with these suggestions thus far: 1. Asking random gals or friends of friends or etc: Thus far each and every time they think I am some horny guy who just wants them for their body. 2. Asking gals whom I knew a while: Each and every time they all say as I had mentioned above 3. Not thinking about it: All it did was get me less friends who are female. 4. Death: Well, I guess I wouldn't mind waiting another 22 years of my life being single for 1 true love, except I probably don't even have 2 years. Not sure when my unit might be sent off to Iraq or what not again, but either way chances of survival in a grunt unit in the Marines, isn't exactly the best. Sort of like being in SWAT, except no shower for 3 months (And having a shower in that 3rd month is just having water sprayed on you)/unlike SWAT most of the population is actually trying to kill you/a pregnant woman (Strapped with bombs) near you means death as well as a trash can that's littered everywhere.....etc. Well, before I talk about other non sense or what not, I guess what I am trying to ask is,.... What is going on? What am I over looking? What is needed done? And what I don't understand is how a bunch of loser guys who are lazy/abnoxious/always drunk/over demanding/etc. get wonderful gals? I always try my best to be kind (Up to the point where when a person punches me, I look the other way), I try my best to never be obnoxious, I don't smoke, nor get drunk, nor etc. (Of course drinking/smoking/etc. itself isn't bad. Just over excessive ness to where it's harmful is bad. Of course just about anything is bad to over excessiveness, just that certain things are easier to get over obsessed to which it's harmful than others. Such as water is the most important "element"/substance/liquid/etc. for a human, yet an over amount becomes poison. Or some amount of alcohol is healthy to the body, yet when one starts to beat others/drives under the influence/makes grief/causes damages to their livers/etc. And I seriously hope nobody tries to make any moral issues out of what I said, especially since I am the one with the most guilt since my very job requires killing humans and the only one who can seriously make absolutely fair and wise judgement is God himself, whom I believe forgives all who believes in him. Even if Hitler himself truly believed in God in the last of his days, he to would find salvation. Although personally I would kill him 1 trillion times before I would ever acknowledge him to heaven but I guess that's why I am no judge of any kind. well, I guess I am going off subject.). Well, I guess this post is a bit long and boring and most likely nobody will read even half of it anyways; never the less, if some one replies with honest and good answers I would be very greatful.
Well I'm not laughing at you. I think you are over analysing though (hence the huge post about - well - nothing really). You need to chill. Relax. Take things as they come (so to speak). It will happen. Worrying about it won't help. I know guys who were virgins at 26, 28 etc. You'll find someone. But make sure you keep you eyes open and recognise when someone is actually offering you sex.
you say that you try to maintain a friendship for a number of months first. it is difficult once a woman considers a man to be a friend, for them to cross the boundaries and move on to other levels...the sexual attraction has already been nipped in the bud actually. seems like yu have too close of a guideline figured out instead of simply going with the moment....how often have you been in the company of a new girl and you longed to kiss them...longed to touch them....my guess is if the attraction is that strong on your end, it is on their's as well. alll you can do is try and be rejected. hell we all deal with rejection. every day actually. i didnt think your post was about nothing...you were working things out and giving us the full story...i am sorry that you havent had intimacy but you are the one keeping you from it.... and by the way...for some stupid reason, women love assholes. don't ask me why. i have been guilty of this as well...however, not all of us do. you will find her. when you want something strong enough it generally presents itself to you.
do u think women are from a different planet or something? believe me most girls think as you are now im not calling you a girl or anything, u need to relise that 3D women are better than the telly ones!!!!! life isnt like a romantic novel and i dont think i know anyone who thinks it is. u need to take a look at the world sit down on a street and watch people not in a pervy way but watch the way they interact and things then it might give you a clue on how to find the right girl. go to a bar and be different is always good not by dancing like a pleb but talk, smile, by the essay you wrote it seems like you are a nice bloke but you look to much into things, chill and have fun. and speak 2 people we arent all nasty
You're waiting too long. A few weeks into a friendship and of course you're considered a friend, not a potential boyfriend. That doesn't mean you have to ask every girl you run across, but after knowing them for a few days or a week, just casually ask if they'd like to go on a date or if they just want to be friends still. And quite over-analyzing yourself and the reason behind your choices (such as not drinking). If it's right for you, it's right for you, you don't need to justify yourself to everyone on the net hon
* BINGO.Dude,stop with the romance books.Being "friends" for months? You're spinning your wheels.(Friends are great.I mean from the perspective of wanting a sexual relationship.) And yes,you're overthinking things.Relax and take the pressure off yourself. You don't want a girl to think that you're just a horny guy?? But you *are* a horny guy,every guy is a horny guy,and every woman you approach knows that. You don't mentiion having a shyness problem.That's good. Let me try and simplify things. 1) Talk to as many women as you can.Forget about "soulmate",forget about losing your virginity,don't worry if she's your "type" or not.You obviiously have some charm and some things going for you,since you've had female friends. 2)Forget how other guys act.Be yourself.You seem like a serious person,though,so maybe lighten up a little.You don't want be Mr Intense.A lot of the communicating that's done when you meet someone has nothing to do with the words being said.There's nothing wrong with some friendly small talk.Resist the urge to blurt out "I'm a virgin,I might die,and I don't want to talk about your cat!!" 3) Figure out early if the woman might be interested in you.Is she making eye contact? Does she smile? After you ask her about herself,does she ask about you? Does she mention a boyfriend 2 minutes into the conversation? If you make a joke,does she laugh or grimace? If the conversation flows,keep it going. 4) If you don't get the signs that she's interested,move on.If you like her and you think she likes you,ask her out.If you're really not sure,either figure out if you can see her again (like if she hangs out at certain place) or ask her out. 5) If she says yes,great.Some women can't say "No",so figure out if she's saying No in not-so-many-words.and take it as No.("I just got out of a relationship,I'm not ready to yada yada yada" or "I'm too busy with work to date" "You seem like a nice guy but...") If she says No,move on. 6) Go out with her a few times.If sex isn't happening after 3 or 4 dates,I'd move on.You're adults,adults have needs,and you're looking for a relationship that includes sex.You have nothing to apologize for. Have fun,and good luck.
Thank you every one. They were very true and sure advices and I will try to adapt my ideas and action around them. Although number 6 of Bluesdillie's advice isn't what I would do. Since, I don't mind if there is no sex for 2 years if it's the right girl..or any girl for that matter if she does not want it. But all else were truly good advice...., well except for budman, who just laughed and gave no advice what so ever. I'm sorry, but I wasn't trying to be funny here and laughing at some one else's problem doesn't really smooth things in any way.
It took alot of effort to read that thing. I am really really tired. Maybe later I will think of something. I get to sleep at noon.
let go of the time pressure too: don't give yourself added anxiety over still being a virgin at the young age of 22. let that go.
its not hard man, i was just always shy and scared of girls i guess like you sound. just be confident, you get a lot more when youre confident. this applies with everything, not just sex.
Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place...Either the woman you're atracted to thinks that you're a "player" whose only interest is in a one-night stand, or, conversely, by being a "nice guy," she suspects that you're gay. Go figure. -- Skeeter
Hey, I'm 24 and I've never kissed a girl either. I did hug two girls once each, but that was 7 years ago. I have social anxiety disorder, and moreover I just don't understand what women want. I try reading the suggestions here and they either contradict each other or just don't work. I am grateful to people who are trying to help, but it seems like no matter what I do, it just isn't good enough for women. Not only that, but since high school ended I hardly meet any women at all anymore. (I did go to college, but there weren't many women in my major.) It seems like everyone else hooked up with their first love in high school and lived happily ever after, and I can't seem to find anyone who is even single anymore. The last time I asked a girl out (only once), I was accused of stalking her, and I can't afford to take risks like that anymore if the results are going to be like this. Don't tell me "my standards are too high," heck, at this point, I'm almost ready to do it with a monkey. (That's a joke, don't send monkeys.) And don't tell me that it'll magically just happen when I least expect it, because if it does I will have to send a sweater to Johnny Cochran.* *because h3ll will freeze over
A couple of you have mentioned after a few weeks they consider him as a friend and not a potential boyfriend anymore.. I don't get that. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone with whom I was not already friends with and had gotten to know.. Eh, whatever..
maybe you 2 could meet up and start your own little gang or something. or maybe just go to a club and find a pissed girl and shag. come to england there are loadsa people like that over here, ohh and im one of them
