Back in the day I used to love everything...air, trees, every motion of everything was be beautiful. And I can pretty honestly say that I loved everyone I met. Now I just feel semi-depressed all the time. I think it started when I went back to school last year. Ever since then I've felt incredible pressure building in my head...this giant purple and black spiral drilling through my forehead...anyway. if any of you can help I would appreciate it...
i know what you are going through man...i'vee had bad spells like you ar ehavin'. it aint fun but kust keep you chin up, be thankful for what you've got and listen to lots of rock n roll. hope this helps ps. masterbation won't help
Hmmm..... I guess this might help. Try thinking of it like this. You can eat what ever you want, play with what ever you want, be in company of girls or guys (Whomever you like), your not being shot at by children, your not being blown up by pregnant women strapped to bombs, you take more than 1 shower per 3 months at a time, your not having to crawl through sewers, you don't have to constantly worry at being sniped at, nor worry knowing that every sign/trash/rubble/etc. are potentially IEDs, about to blow up, you most likely at least had some one say he/she loved you/ you dont feel guilty for killing humans (Even though their trying to kill you), having almost every disease known to man kind including vomiting of blood/pneumonia/ Saddam's Revenge (Not sure what it is, but think of it like food poisoning times 100 non stop for a week), constant coughing of blood, ripping of the skin, weird boils, odd and unexplained redness on intimate parts and other areas...etc just so that a bunch of civilians back home can complain about minor headaches and problems and think they have the pits when their only getting paid at worst $7 an hour on a comfortable job, where as I am getting paid $2 an hour doing what I do to protect them. Unlike me.... yet there is not a day I think "God, I am glad to even take a shower." All I know is I love and try to love as many things as possible. Because I know that in doing so I can at least have a purpose of living and a purpose of being. Even if it's a short while, I can at least affect those around me in a positive way. Don't let it depress you. Because if you let events do nothing but depress you, all your doing is giving up.
I dont understand you Gats, you go on posting how depressed you are, asking for advice as you cannot find love, yet another poster comes along and expresses similar grief and you put them down as being ignorant to how good they have it. I understand you fight for America, that was your choice, but you don't have to be crawling in sewers to get depressed.
Gats. Thanks for your service to our country. I for one, really do appreciate what our Armed Forces protect. Please, no one use this statement as a starting off point for a war debate. This is a thread about depression, wanderer's depression specifically. But Gats seemed to need something too, so I'm saying to him, Thanks for what you're enduring. At the end of your enlistment you'll be back to a normal life, and things'll be rosey again. Suck it up until then, and try not to be such a pussy. Good luck, brother. Wanderer, it is the age, and it isn't. Part of the problem might be growing up, and having a lot on you (decisions, other's expectations...). That'll pass, and even get fun in a few years. Just try and be a self starter and make decisions and start living like an adult (ie, taking responsibilty for yourself and quit acting like a kid). But some of it might not be the age. Depression is a tricky bitch. In short, don't believe it'll pass if it doesn't. Don't let yourself do self destructive things, like withdrawling from friends/ family, self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, lay around and do nothing... It's easy to do that, but it won't help your problem. Being active would probably help a lot. And MD prescribed meds like Welbutrin give you just enough help to get you on your feet. Just don't fuck around because that won't cure it, if you don't feel better in a reasonable amount of time and feel worse instead of better. Get some help if you need it.
its really hard to be depressed and everyone thinks they have it worse.... truth be told depression is depression and noones is worse then anothers...not feeling love is painful and hurts us all equally....
Watching the Wheels: dont understand you Gats, you go on posting how depressed you are, asking for advice as you cannot find love, yet another poster comes along and expresses similar grief and you put them down as being ignorant to how good they have it. I understand you fight for America, that was your choice, but you don't have to be crawling in sewers to get depressed. I am not putting the original poster down in any way like you called it. If it seemed in any way like that, than it was in your own mind. Secondly, I am stating that I do in fact have a say that I had seen the worst of humanity and been in the middle of it in the world's most stressful of environments. If I myself had never had grief like the original poster had said than I have no right to even reply, for how should I know what his feeling? Anyways, it's easy to be thankful for anything by counting on what you have in your life and what you have going on for you. If there is even the slightest of hope in anything I believe that anything is possible even in the slimest of times/events/etc. If that message wasn't clear in the post I made than I should have made it a little more clear.
mariecstasy its really hard to be depressed and everyone thinks they have it worse.... truth be told depression is depression and noones is worse then anothers...not feeling love is painful and hurts us all equally.... I believe in this as well, but I would also like to add to this. When one has physical trauma/ truly devastating eventful trauma/event (Seeing a massacre in full view or death of loved ones or death of pets or etc.)/ comparably, some one who is depressed over classes isn't as bad. Which makes me think there might be another reason/option than the ones stated above? I am no expert in psychology nor biology; however, this might be a problem in which medication could be the case? there are some medication that aids in depression related disorders and what not. I don't dare name any medications on the forum of course since I dare not to give wrong prescription of any kind. But, if you do have periods of constant severe depression over simple normal events (Nothing like accidents leaving you disabled/being through war/losing a lot of loved ones/ and other more severe events. Normal events such as working/schooling/eating/etc. Since you mentioned that depression started when classes started. Of course every one goes through a point in school is depressed one way or another. However, it's not normal to lose sight of love and yourself in everything.). IF/when you do see a professional doctor or what not than this was helpful. IF not I just wasted your time in reading at the very worst.
i agree with what you have said....if you want to look at depression..you should look at the causes to see from where it is stemming...sometimes meds are needed or therapy or either....however....still lonliness and sadness and isolation or suffering of any sort, regardless of why the person is feeling it, is just as devasting to all people...because the emotion itself still is that emotion...and the causes doesnt make it better or worse.
you can't ever lose love. the clouds may have masked this love, momentarily. when you are not smiling, just remember that the dandelion has your smile on that day. let the feelings you are having come to you; let them rise in you. nurture these feelings. cradle them as if they were a newborn. you cannot fight with a baby. do not resent the way you are feeling now for the way you used to feel. let your feelings be however they might. accept them and then use the breath to dissolve them. slowly. go deep into nature and sit for a while. sit and breathe. look at all these trees that you remember loving but feel that you do no longer. accept that you no longer love them. breathe more and when thoughts enter you head let them dissolve away. hold your hand to you heart and keep breathing. listen to the trees. forgive them and then forgive yourself.
Gats, I find it rather funny that you have the anti-Illuminati pic under your name, and yet you work for them...
its normal we all go through the blue cynic time period .. it wont last ..right now I am not compelled to anything or anyone really .. but somehow still love ..just not in the way we are taught to believe love is ...some would say its mental pain that causes that and others would say there is a medical condition that is distracting your emotions becuase the pain is severe
Thankyou everyone...I think I realized what has been making me feel so bad for so long. I was out walking the other day and once the sun started to set I realized that I hadn't felt that good in a really long time. I think what was bothering me was the way this whole society operates. I was raised to believe that the way to live was to spend about a third of your youth going to school and learning all sorts of things that if you hadn't been forced by law to do you probably wouldn't have done anyway. Then go to college for a few years and decide what your going to do with the next 40 years of your life. Then when thats over you get to do whatever you want as long as you had made enough money (which my parents have always told me is the root of all evil yet also tell me that I have to try and get as much of it as possible). Add on to that the fact that the average person spends a third of their life unconscious and I came with a very simple answer to why I think I haven't felt in such a long time...I had been wasting my life. Doing things I didn't want to do yet were pushed into. If we are all people and we are all equal then what gives certain people the right to decide things for other people? Why can't we just do what we want whenever we want? I mean...I understand that some "rules" were set in place to try to deviate people from "wrong-doing" but the entire world only needs one also very simple rule. Number 1. Don't hurt anything. And I know some of you are probably thinking that people couldn't survive without hurting other things like plants, animals, each other. But we can try to stop as much of it as we can. I also know that the entire world wouldn't give into that type of living...out in nature where everything is reborn with time instead of our buildings that can only decay with it's passing unless they are monitered. I think things were better for the planet before we started to manufacture all sorts of crap that we could do without and marvel at how the buildings just keep getting bigger and bigger. It feels to me that the people that were actually on this land as opposed to putting things like roads and houses on it so we never have to actually touch and realize that were smothering it and have to cut grass because seeing nature in its natural state apparently disgusts people and so they have to decapitate all the grass to bring it back into line...back into our control. The people need to realize that we could just as easily live on the earth...find a good water and food source and spend our days just watching the sunrise as we could in a big house full of instant coffee machines and what not that is if not easier. Now probably a lot of you think im wrong or just got bored listening to me ramble on. But I think thats what right for me and for the world. And so thats the way im going to try to live. I think there is a perfect(or as close as you can get to it) place for everyone somewhere out there. Somewhere where you could be infinitely happy. This place could only be a rolling plain or just a foot of dirt where no matter how many times you stand there you couldn't feel any better even if you tried. Thats what im going to try to find...my worldy paradise. And even if I die searching for it I will at least be able to love everything that led me to to the place where I can't wander any more and love everything that awaits me. After all of this went through my head and the sun had set a while ago I got picked up by the cops, searched, and tested for alchohol I was sent home handcuffed in the back of a police car.
