Make a wish game..

granted, but the 'something' is shovelling horse poop while being leered at by a pervy old man

i wish i had some money, or a job to earn money

 

Granted, but the only "job" you will get is to be a "rent boy" for some really ugly old and kinky perverts. (Yes, I'm one Yank who knows a bit of UK slang!)

I wish I knew what to wish for.

 

Granted. But Dolphin is the only language on Earth that has a word for what you want.

I wish I knew how to dance.

 

Granted, but you will break your ankle so badly that you'll be on crutches for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a hot sexy lover with a really good attitude. (FYI, I'm bi.)

 

Bam. He's at your door. But MJ is more into younger "men" than yourself....

Wish I had more Captain and Coke...

 

Granted. You just drank yourself into the mother of all hangovers.

BTW, MJ is ugly as piss anyway.

I wish I had the power to rub out any idiot I want with just a thought.

 

Granted. You're your first victim.

I wish I could be normal.

 

granted. but what is normal? you can't decide so you kill yourself

i wish i had some sort of fantastical superpower

 

Granted. It's the ability to emit large volumes of any kind of gas you wish. Of course, you become the "butt" of a lot of jokes...

I wish I was so smart that I could solve the problem of The Meaning of Life.

 

Granted-> but discovering the Meaning of Life drives you into a depression and you spend the rest of your days wishing you were stupid.

I wish I lived someplace where the weather is always pleasant.

(edited for untimeliness)

 

granted, you live in hell. aahhh, toasty

i wish i had some decent music to listen to on this computer

 

Granted, but it's the Disney idea of decent. "It's a small world after all..."

I wish I could be happy all the time.

 

granted, but happiness gets boring after a while, but you can't feel depressed about it or anything

i wish i could find my soulmate (altogether now: aaww)

 

Granted, but your soulmate turns out to be a grizzly bear with a mean disposition.

I wish I knew what the next poster is going to say. (Likely to be granted soon... )

 

you do but it's something horribly unpleasant about your mother and a grizzley bear (with a mean disposition)



I wish I could manipulate electromagnetic fields at a quantum level and upwards....

 

granted, but you can only use this power once in your life

 

You forgot to make a wish, so you're going to get abducted by aliens who will use a six-foot probe on your ass.

I wish we didn't have the Religious Right.

 

Granted, but its now called the relgious wrong


i wish no one wishies come true

 

granted , but now you have to yodel everything you say for the next 22 months 5 days 18 hours and 41 seconds....




I wish I was taller and more slender

 

Granted, the Inquisition has stretched you out on the rack and starved you half to death.

I wish I was 21 again.