Depression and Relationships: Useful Info

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by walkoflife, Apr 26, 2005.

  1. FRUITACO

    FRUITACO Member

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    hi everyone. Ok, my situation is a little different. I have bad depression an taking meds for it but it only helps so much. Anyway, I lost both my legs bellow the knee back in 2012, from frostbite while snowshoeing on the grand mesa in Colorado. I use prostetics now but I try to hide them cause they bother me. It could be 100 degrees an I still wear pants. You just go threw so many emotions when something like that happens. I have not dated or done anything sence my accident. I fear that I will never be able to date again or ever get married again. Im just really self chonces about them. Does it bother ladies ? I guess till I can except it an comfertable with it I cant really date.
     
  2. Slunted

    Slunted 'long time listener, first time caller'

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    Awesome post, the hardest part is asking for help.
     
  3. carpetbagger

    carpetbagger Member

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  4. loveslovely

    loveslovely Members

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    i was in a relationship for 6 years depression was part of it of why we broke up plus it was kinda toxic it was best we parted ways i always care for him but we wasnt right together the only thing thats good outta this i moved on and had to live my life and move forward
     
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  5. Captain Scarlet

    Captain Scarlet Lifetime Supporter

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    Obviously that person wasnt quite right for you. I have broken off an engagement of over 3 years so I can empathise with the above situation . It ended up toxic but not in an ugly sense . It was a case of avoiding each other and I used to go out and stay just to do that. This was probably my first taste of depression and the writing was on the wall for the relationship . The hardest part was actually ending it as its not pleasant task by any means , Yes I have to say we had some great times but most of these were in the beginning .
     
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  6. loveslovely

    loveslovely Members

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    i thought he was at first the relationship started off well but as later it was a mess and toxic i never went back depression just part of it almost broke me but eventually i had to move on for good
     
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  7. Captain Scarlet

    Captain Scarlet Lifetime Supporter

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    In my experience as a former Relationship Counsellor most relationships start off really well . I suppose you could call it the "honeymoon" period and then the newness wears off . Intimacy not necessarily sex is an essential component along with communication .If those 2 elements diminish or arn't there then a relationship can and often and will struggle . It looks like you have found your feet now and moved on which is good .Having no relationship is better than a toxic one.
     
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  8. Totally Yoda

    Totally Yoda Members

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    I'm fortuneit enough that my wife stands by my side due to my illness. She's a good listener and she'll keep me occupied which helps out also.
     
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  9. Lovnflman

    Lovnflman Members

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    I don't know which is worse.......living with someone with several issues or experiencing depression oneself.

    When I met my now ex wife she was always happy and full of energy. A red flag or two but I chose to ignore them. Got married and then things started to unravel after the first year. Her mood swings were awful. It wasn't until then that I started getting the entire story. She had previously been diagnosed as bipolar, her mom and sister bipolar, her aunt died in a state mental hospital, and her grandparents died in a murder/suicide. How she kept all this from me makes me feel stupid. I suggested seeing a psychiatrist or psychologists. One doc prescribed lithium, and then went on to try other drugs. Some worked until she started feeling better and she'd stop taking them and crash. I travelled a lot and didn't know how I'd find her when I returned home.......had she rearranged the furniture three times, or was she disheveled on the couch for three days. One such return she was a mess on the couch, and I found the trash full of booze bottles and beer cans.....and her empty bottle of her RX. I had to carry her to the car and off to the ER. I felt so guilty. No more booze in the house,,but she'd go out buy a secret stash. She recovered and seemed to be doing well with a different RX, but then quit taking them again. CRASH, and another suicide attempt.
    ER again. She started spending our savings and that was the final straw for me. Divorced her after 3 1/2 short years. I had to do it for my own sanity.
    Met my current wife and I was on the mountain top. A beautiful sexy wife and a ready made family with two kids. Now after 20+ years she's exhibiting signs of bipolar. Our marriage is struggling and I find myself now dealing with anxiety and depression. The marriage, death of my inlaws and my mother, dealing with a slowly fading elderly father, and the inability (due to a couple health issues) to continue my 35 yr career in the profession I LOVE! My doc wanted to put me on Prozac. I have the RX but never took it. Doc sent me to a reputable counselor and I've been seeing her for a few months now. She's of the opinion that yes, I do have mild depression but anxiety is the bigger issue. Easily overwhelmed by things that normally wouldn't have phased me in the past. Tired of hearing sayings like "put on your big girl panties and deal with it". Difficult to be the rock of the family when I feel this way.

    Sorry this is so long.......just felt good to put it out there.
     
  10. BenS Alaskan

    BenS Alaskan Members

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    I went undiagnosed except by my wife who suffered the same without alcohol. I quit which made my behavior crazy. But managed. Managed to drive each other crazy eventually. I’m still alcohol free because of her and always will. But still have diagnosed depression. Thanks for any patience for your boyfriend. If he is like me he is a hand full.
     
  11. FriendlyCock

    FriendlyCock Members

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    Well, I've been clinically depressed for decades now due to no sex among other reasons. The doc put me on standard antidepressants while I was at work over 20 years ago. They dulled my mind and my reflexes to a point where my working on maintenance of powered broadcast equipment was downright dangerous. I went back and changed to lighter meds, not much difference. I was on a week by week trial of two light antidepressants. I researched health alternatives and found St John's wort. What did I have to lose. The third week, off the drugs and I took 2 x 2700 Mg per day for a week. I went back to the doctors happy and almost high. They really did work. I asked him why he didn't trial me on these. i found out myself. He said, "as a doctor He wasn't allowed to mention natural remedies. St John's wort raises the Seritonin level in your brain, but does it without the side effects of the drugs. Between you and me, I'd stay on them, but I didn't tell you that. One thing though, you must declare to the doctors and pharmacists when you are using them because they do affect the way some drugs work"
    So I take a maintenance dose every two days and more when I am really down, which is not so often now.
     

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