What's Wrong With Having Daddy Issues?

Discussion in 'True Love' started by Candybuttons, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Because we are MENNNNN! Hahaaaa! Embrace the douche baggery, for it is here forever :) :) :)
     
  2. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    mostly because women like it.
     
  3. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    That's not true, at all. ^^
     
  4. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    yeah, a good percentage of douchebags are the result of bad genes or shitty parenting. but there are still a good number who try it out and stick with it because they keep being rewarded for it.
     
  5. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    I dated douchebags before, a lot of them, sadly. And I never "liked" it, but no matter how many people told me I was worth something, or a 'catch,' I didn't see it. Until a woman sees her own value, she will date douchebags. Not because she likes it, but because she thinks that is what she deserves.

    And then, one day...I saw the light. But, I know it seems like bad guys win, and "nice guys finish last," but it's only because the women they are attracting, need to think better of themselves.
     
  6. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    LMFAO!
     
  7. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    ok, Candy Buttons, on the face thing

    From the baby centre:

    So most people cant even distinguish between faces until as late as 5 years old.

    Straight out of the womb, your vision doesnt work, but your hearing does, hearing works when you are still in the womb, so does the sense of smell. It has been shown that by two weeks babies can differentiate between the smell of their mothers milk and other mothers milk, hence between its mother and other mothers

    So all those early pathways that get created in the brain are about things like you cry if you are hungry, then mommy feeds you, or scared you get a hug, you smell mom you know you are going to get fed, smell dad you get a hug, but you wont get fed. You smell poo, you cry, poo smell goes away (mom changes your nappy, you have no idea what a nappy is, cant even see it, but you smell poo and cry then you smell mommy, then the poo smell goes away)

    At 2 years old, you have some depth perception, but you still cant work out faces, but your brain has been training for two years to recognize your dads smell and the sound of his voice, You have no idea what a dad is, even what a male is, even arguably what people are. Your dad is still blurry to a degree, a moving object that for the most part makes you feel safe

    Freud thought 2 years old or just after was when all the weird psycho-sexual stuff started and started to form higher order parts of the brain, but Freud over estimated the role of the parents, plenty of stuff since then to suggest kids your own age ans size are a lot more important, you learn most of your social skills from them



    So its a little bit trippy, but we are not talking about your father as you know him as an adult. But who you looked for security the most at 2 years old, not necessarily your biological father, or even a human. If you think about it, if you had a family dog at the time, a type of breed that would always stay with you, provided security most of the time, day in day out, you still cant distinguish faces, maybe cant even tell or understand the difference between a dog and a human, maybe the dog was the father figure at the time. And of course I dont mean you grow up and want to fuck dogs, but say it was a labrador, grow up to keep falling for guys who have eyes most similar to a labrador, or keep falling for guys with puppy dog eyes
     
  8. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I'm just trying to figure out how in the world some women (not all), think less of themselves. Where the hell do they get that from? I know it isn't from the parents. What parents instill low self-esteem in their kid's minds? Is it the other kids they hang around that makes them question their worth? I really would like to know, so I can help fix that shit. Douchebags shouldn't gain a thing, yet, as Imnimyunderwear stated, they keep getting rewarded. And in the worst way. Ive seen many women get abused and taken advantage of by these types of guys, and these same women actually shit all over sincerely good guys who are willing to take care of them and be decent to them. I don't get it.....
     
  9. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Well, I have a brother that was a sort of normal guy for a long while, something of a manchild with no real responsibilities until 39, but otherwise a nice guy

    Then he had his first child.

    Within two years, saw him go from normal to a complete whiney little, always angry at everything douchebag, he turned into his father.

    An eye opener for me, as I previously saw no indication he was going to be like his father

    Why are they douchebags? Testosterone, and they never get trained on how to not be a douchebag, especially in this country, they can always fall back on to welfare if they want to, drink beer and bum around on the beach if they want to. Thats before they have kids, do that after kids, cant afford to buy kids shoes if they are on the dole. So a whole lot of extra pressure to actually hold on to a job, play nice and suck up at work, extra pressure a lot of them just cant handle

    ....oh, and they never get enough sex


    I have been employed since high school, simply because I get bored too quickly if I dont. All these guys whining about having to work all the time, the wife spends money on stuff the kids need, well what would you spend it on? Beer and your stupid man cave, a pool table that gets used 3 times in 5 years
     
  10. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    It actually came from my upbringing. My dad and I just made amends over this about two years ago, but up until then, I didn't speak to him much. He was verbally abusive towards me as a kid, and that does something to a child. When you become an adult, you don't just magically forget what happened to you as a kid. Not to say that you can't move forward, but your self esteem is often shaped when you're a child....thus, the title of the thread ''daddy issues.'' lol I had some daddy issues of my own for a while, but I'm glad he apologized and we are pretty close, now.
     
  11. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    LOLz, and what is a sincerely good guy? You dont think your perspective is skewed?

    And certain women only go for douchebags. Does that actually happen as much as you want to believe?

    You dont think it happens as much or more the other way around? Guys that go for a girl that treats them like shit and those guys lap that shit up

    From my perspective it happens a lot more the other way around. You dont see women running around doing a bunch of dumb shit for guys because they look good in yoga pants
     
  12. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Im glad that your dad came back and apologized for that, and you're right, you don't just get over those things easily. I have my dad to thank for kicking me in the ass whenever I put myself down or whenever I thought I wasn't worth a damn. He taught me to hold my head up and have some dignity, and that's how I am with my daughter. I jump in her shit
    About things like that from time to time, because I want her to be a strong young woman.
     
    Deidre likes this.
  13. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    That's so great!! I'm so happy for her that she has a good dad like you. My dad wasn't a bad dad entirely, but, when I have kids someday, I can't imagine verbally abusing them, tbh. Why do you put yourself down, do you think?
     
  14. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    No, but when you become an adult does make you wonder what the fuck he was doing being verbally abusive to a female child.

    You get one perspective as a child, childish behaviour makes more sense.

    But as an adult, its like dude wtf, seriously what do you think everyone else is going to think?
     
    Deidre likes this.
  15. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    So true! Believe me, Vanilla...I cried a lot over this, and avoided him for a long time. It affected how I viewed men, at times, when I was dating. Like I guess I thought they all saw me as my dad saw me, you know?

    I don't know why he treated me the way he did, except to say that he was abused as a kid. (no excuse, but that was a reason I had heard) Not sure why some adults don't break the cycle, but instead...perpetuate it. That doesn't ever make sense to me. Why would you want to treat your own kid in a bad way, if you were treated in a bad way? But, I've forgiven him, now.
     
  16. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Well, well. Two different perspectives, imagine that. A sincerely good guy is simply opposite of a douchebag. Someone that is decent towards women and treats women with respect, plain and simple. They do exist VG. Maybe not in your world, but they do exist. And no, I don't think MY perspective is skewed, but I do think yours is.
     
  17. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    Usually guys who let women walk all over them, also have self esteem issues, and a lot of the time, it happened during their childhoods, too. Actually, guys who are douchebags also have self esteem issues, they just over compensate by acting like db's. Every player/db that I've ever dated, was extremely insecure deep down, but just pretended to be superior to everyone around him.
     
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  18. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Oh, a bit of cock swinging eh? an instant defense response instead of objectivity

    Sincerely decent guys are sincerely decent guys to you, if you met Harvey Weinstein ten years ago you would have thought he was a personable likeable guy, you would have been pals, pals for another 10 years with no clue about him....until....
     
  19. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    As a kid, it was all about fitting in. I was intimidated by all the other kids that seemed like they were smarter than me in school. And back then, there was this stigma about being shades darker than the other black kids, and the other black kids (including adults) made fun of you if you were too dark. Sounds crazy, huh? That's the silly shit that was going on where I grew up back then, and it confused the hell out of me. So, I worked a little harder and applied myself at school, and learned to proudly accept myself. My skin tone was what I was born with and couldn't do nothing about it, but embrace it. It's hard to deal with that as a kid. My dad stayed on me about having a marginal attitude and approach towards everything and inspired me to get my head outta my ass and do better.
     
    Candybuttons, GLENGLEN and Deidre like this.
  20. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Here you go again VG, talkin out the side of your goddamn neck. Where do you come up with this shit, and what the hell does Harvey Weinstein got to do with this discussion? Go take a nap, man.
     

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