Post The Last Thing You Texted

Your texts are sooo elaborate. I hope you have an unlimited texting plan.

:unsure:

 

Good job. Well done!

 

LMAO! Yes I do have unlimited texting. And in truth my texts can get elaborate and long for texts.

Here is an actual true series of texts exchanged with a friend yesterday. It was a little different so I guess I'll share it (I mention Minda who is my wife):


Friend: David! I just saw a Snowy Owl! What does that mean.

Me: Maybe nothing. But the Snowy Owl represents various things. Give us a call.

Friend: Can't I'm in the mountains. .no service lol

Me: Ok, I'll respond in a bit

Friend: Sorry

Me: Minda is asking if you are having dreams about the last baby, the one that was removed. She says its a boy.

Friend: I don't thinks so. ..I don't remember my dreams

Me: The snowy owl represents several things, including spirit, prophecy, fertility, and death.

Friend: Hmmmm

Me: It spooks a lot of Indians because they think it is an omen of death. I have a friend that has the Lakota name Snowy Owl, and he always knows when people are going to pass on. But a medicine man will tell you that seeing a snowy owl is deeper than that, or it just happened to be there and means nothing. Or he will say that its meaning is special for you, and has nothing to do with what people say it means. But there are numerous meanings. It often can be a spirit from the dead too.

Friend: I don't like that lol

Me: Do you know if your last child was a boy?
----sorry I got interrupted. In some cultures it is a sign of an easy child birth---that's a good thing.
----Minda says that it is a message from the last baby, that you need to give it a name and light a candle for it. Pray for its journey to the other side. The candle is the catholic influence from the Philippines.
----I wouldn't discount what she says. She has an uncanny way of being right. Call me when you can and I'll tell you about the first time I took her to a yuwipi ceremony (spirit calling ceremony) and she had no idea what to expect. I've told you about her ancestors and family.


So---yeah in true life my texts can get a little weird at times.

 

A little more context on that exchange of texts----though I think many of you get the picture. Our friend recently got pregnant and struggled with whether she wanted to keep it (she has 3 children, and her job is not that steady so she often struggles to get by). My wife insisted that it would bring her luck, but she aborted it. Shortly after, she got pregnant again. She has decided to keep this one.

I do occasionally get questions like this. I'm on the Board of Directors of a small nonprofit that protects and promotes Native traditions and spirituality, and helps Native Medicine Men get to and from ceremony when their truck is broken down or they can't afford a bus ticket, for example. They don't get paid to perform ceremonies, even though that is what they spend their life doing. (I am the token white boy at this organization.) I also participate in ceremonies. I have written about comparative mythology and spirituality. So I get questions like this---some even stranger.

My wife came from a line of Philippine healers in the old pre-Spanish ways. The Spanish tried to wipe all that out, and so she doesn't even know much about what her grandparents did. But something has been passed down----that's a whole another story.

 

Are you pumped or stressin or a mix of both?

To my friend who is getting married in two days

 

Okay, understood.

 

Righty then... Laters ❤

 

Nighty nite.

 

Look. I can't help it. I'm just following the terms of the will when he named me executor of the estate. It was very specific that the estate funds my frequent trips to HongKong opium dens, and brothels in the South Pacific--including incidentals such as liquor, food, and whatever I my need. And I don't have any idea why he added this to the will in crayon, but we can't very well ask him now, can we?

 

Follow up to my previous text:

How dare you! Its only a coincidence that the crayon was the exact same one that was under the Attorney's desk when the will was read.--or allegedly similar crayon. Besides, I think we need to go back and check again, because I have a funny feeling that on the back of the will there was something about me making trips to Morroco. the Casbah, and Hashish maybe? And I wouldn't be surprised if its in the same kind of ink as the Attorney's ballpens. Just a feeling...

 

Your lights are on.

 

I wasn’t trying to just get into your wife’s panties! She’s the one that stepped into my Mobile Gunecological Clinic/van. And what do you mean that is not how you spell it—I’m the doctor here! …and this telephone number is only for use by patients to schedule a follow up appointment, thank you very much!

 

Off now.

 

don't call my work

 

I know, right?!

These women---you text that to them and you would think they would get the hint!

But a week later you have to text, 'Don't call my home.' And then a matter of days later it's 'Don't call my wife!'


Then some 9 months later they bring a baby to the door, and now you've got to buy the wife yet another fur coat!! ...I give up-----well, no I don't, but...

 

Call me.

 

Can't wait to see you! Xoxo

To a friend about her bridal shower today

 

Where r u?

 

I will be heading back after work. Do you need anything?

 

Wait. What? I'm right here!