Ldr Girlfriend

Discussion in 'True Love' started by Dal Justice, Aug 27, 2017.

  1. Dal Justice

    Dal Justice Members

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    So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months at this point. And I was starting to feel out of touch, like I was falling out of love with her. I mean she lives like seven states away from me, and no physical connection. But we masturbated via Skype the other day, and she has low self-esteem, so I've never seen her naked in her entirety. But I did the other day and suddenly I feel like I've fallen back and love her. Like I can't stop thinking about her, I want to talk to her all day everyday at this point now, and it's not about sex like I just want to talk to her. So can doing sexual acts make you fall back in love for the person?
     
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  2. jmadre

    jmadre Member

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    Maybe engaging in sexual acts together have brought you two closer. It's a sharing and trust with each other.
    A connection that you're both looking for.
    If you feel you want to talk with her all the time, do it.
    Share with her, listen to her, be vulnerable with her.
    She'll share with you, your relationship will grow, even though you're far apart.

    Best of luck.
     
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  3. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    They can. It depends on your individual sensitivity to brain chemistry, and if mutual mastrubation visually triggers releases of certain hormones.
    When I have had to do distance, phone sex, long teasing emails etc have been adequate in keeping the brain chemistry in the connected zone.
     
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  4. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Dont encourage him, seeing her naked, then getting a stiffy isnt "love"
     
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  5. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    Infatuation is a chemical response.
    Seeing someone naked, and attaching that to pleasure, will release bonding hormones.

    It is the basis of a relationship? Many have started with less.

    Distance sucks. Get what you can.
     
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  6. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    Get what you can don't sound like love either though.

    It sounds exactly like this post reads, that is;

    Well I didn't like her, then I saw her naked and I like her again, so I think I have a chance now, how do I go about it?

    Anyway, 7 states isn't thaaaat big of a distance, take a road trip, or if you're two mature adults, split an airfare. :)
     
  7. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Hey Dal,
    Whatever it is, and if it draws you closer to her, keep doing it. Long distance relationships are challenging but you can make it work if you put effort into it and don't pay any mind to people who discourage it and tell you that it doesn't work and to give up.
    We are lucky to have all these great methods to stay in touch, so there's no reason why it can't work. Before all the skype, FaceTime, email, cell phones came, it was hand written letters and pictures in the mail that kept relationships alive! We are so fortunate and don't even realize it. You said you fell out of love with her, so that means you were IN love with her at the beginning.
     
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  8. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    Perhaps, though I'm not sure masturbating on Skype counts as a sexual act, nor does two months of being seven states apart constitute real love. For me to fall back in love with someone after sexual contact, I would have had to have shared a life with them for a few years.
     
  9. Dal Justice

    Dal Justice Members

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    Lol, I figured I'd get some backlash. Thank you all for the positive remarks and the not so positive remarks.
     
  10. jmadre

    jmadre Member

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    Hope for good things,,,
     
  11. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    depends which 7 states. crescent city, california is technically 7 states from key west, florida, and it's a 53 hour drive according to google.
     
  12. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    I'd call it hell.
     
  13. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    It will definitely help you fall in lust.
    That's a good thing, sometimes.
     
  14. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    So pretty much, not that big of a deal hehe.

    I don't know, I've had a friend who met his girl online before, spent several years talking, never knew what each other looked like.

    They met 7+ years after meeting in a chat room. They've been with each other ever since.

    He said that in the 7 years he got to know her, he really grew to love her, like, it didn't matter about physical attraction, they didn't know ow what each other looked like and it didn't matter. They fell in love with who they knew.

    They've been together for maybe 10-13 years since they first met IRL.

    I think I've got a good relationship built on trust, communication and adoration and still sometimes, although my relationship is perfect suited to me, I can't help but want to know how it would feel like to be them.

    What they've got is über special. So I'm a big believer in the long distance. I think the stories are sweet and if both parties are actually willing to give it a go, then that's beautiful to me.

    Folks that complain about the distance and make no efforts, to me they don't want it. You don't give up on things you want like that. I've come to learn this.

    Like, yeah sure I dream of being on stage with a guitar but I won't train, I won't practice because it dwelled on me that while I'd like that, I don't want it because I won't work for it. I'm not interested.

    I think of relationships the same way. Those who aren't willing to really work for it are the ones always so miserable in their relationships.
     

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