What Is Your Mental Illness

Exactly, mate!

I was mis-diagnosed in Navy Flight school by the resident shrink as having Bipolar II disorder. He also tried to get me to take meds for it. I believe it was Depakote that he suggested initially.

Thing is, Depakote, and just about ANY psychotropic medication is what we call a "non-qualifier" for being a licensed pilot. (Or in the case of the military, a commissioned Naval Aviator.

IOW....had I accepted this quack's DX and taken his meds, I would have been unable to fly jets for the Navy. Hell, even fly cargo trnasports or mail cods. Fuck that.

So I refused, and got a second and then a third opinion, both of which said I was just fine thank you. And anybody who knows me or ever has will tell you that I am by nature a pretty hyper guy. Alpha all the way. I move quick and think quick and talk fast. To the point where, yes, I admit that, especially when I was younger, I would annoy some folks. Or be accused of being over-caffeinated or even on drugs. LOL. (the latter is a humorous contradictive situation for military pilots. Since...yes, the rumors you've heard ARE true, we ARE availed amphetamines to use freely during certain extended flight ops.)

 

Try weed. It seems to help a lot of people with anxiety and such things.

 

Please, stop playing doctor. PLEASE!

I wanted people to share, not be accuse of not having or having a mental condition.

 

Yup, you can make money off Youtube. It's base on views.

 

And on another note, BECAUSE CHRIS RUINED IT FOR ALL OF US, I'm determained to take a shower tonight. I'm going to do a mask and fucking everything. I believe in myself!

Maybe.

I hope.

 

alright, I could only get through about half the posts today before i went mental! Just kidding!! But my head hurts after too much reading. Interesting points, but i wont comment on all.

I will say, and i kinda talked to Irmi about this once, that I could sorta relate to some things she's said, but after reading all of this (and my second quote here), well, no. I have never, say, been hospitalized. And I do also know someone with diagnosed bipolar...it does kinda make me mental trying to interact and like not get pissed off or depressed myself (not WITH them, but at the disease)...so, idk...guess that's what I share with Spaceman. haha get a life, right?

actually, no I do get what you said in an earlier post, Irm...about feeding off the negative or positive vibes of others. Oh!!! I can get mad depressed, and that's actually what happend, or mad like "manic" meaning I just have to like scream or maybe just go for a run or something because I get so worked up! I think that's "normal" though. I mean, anyone frustrated and not having the means to do anything about something, it would be normal to just...yeah, or walk away. Sadly, I have sometimes been unable to just walk away...and then I get anxious.

Oh! Well I guess I was prescribed something for anxiety once! Oh it helped one day, but I did not want to get addicted...and kinda lucky for me, I was able to rememeber that feeling, you know? and I could like call upon it whenevre I needed it. Granted, now I'm...well, I have medicine for the thyroid (what is it about forums that makes folks open up. I said I wouldn't do this, but well, I'll keep it brief)...as well as OTC painkillers (for "something else". I'm always vague about this) and a variety of supplements including magnesium glycinate. (ahhh, magnesium glycinate!! wonderful sleep aid, muscle relaxer...) Point is, I guess I did get "that bad" with my anxiety though...and it's still there! it has been its worst on and off last few months...but I can fight it! It just takes a lot of positive reinforcement to get over some bad shit...this time was emotional/mental, last time was physical (I do NOT want to say, because I can still relive that pain. bleh!)

haha yea, speaking of pain tolerance...

I love your brain!!! (a little devil's advocate but valid, nonetheless)

So yeah, I did pretty much take some education for MYSELF from this. Maybe not every bipolar manifests itself so strongly, but if (IF) I do have it, which what you've said here it seems I don't (i can sleep (now, with all the supplements/meds) and I can control my spending. I'm actually pretty good with spending. knock on wood...but I guess I do get the "thrill" aspect. And a lot of times, or MOST times, when I'm trying to buy something I want but don't need, or I have to choose between two less than ideal, but i NEED something...well, it does make it easier to just have a default option like "ok, last time I just bought both, so this time I'll just pick one." or "oh, I can get this tomorrow if I still want it. I know it's here"...haha yes, lots of thinking though. My mother has had to learn to be patient...and husband usually asks me to just take my mother when I'm shopping like this. hahahahaaa


*but IF I have it (haha guess I got distracted with my sidenote there and forgot to finish my thought. This happens way more often than not! I think this doesn't help my anxiety sometimes, because some folks aren't so patient with my addendums, edits, or afterthoughts. *sighh* but IF IF I have bipolar, I likely have that mild case. And I've Googled this so many times...yeah that term looks familar. I think? or was it something else?? idk

 

Shrug

I dont know why you would sound like a bitch, it seems like we're in agreement. I dont think anxiety is a mental illness..unless it prevents you from going to work or living any kind of normal life. Doesn mean I don't feel anxiety, but its a reaction to life, not something inherently wrong with my brain.

But in all fairness you did say in your OP.." I think I have a mental illness..but I dont know what"

Go get a DX, woman

 

I thought was a bit rude to tell me that I was making things up lol. Like I said two doctors diagnosed me, I didn't go into much detail albeit a long post, I'm not going into details and I get some apparent random psychologist telling me otherwise when they know nothing about me.

So if I don't have any mental disorders then my mental disorder is making up mental disorders.

 

also, non-topic related, but hey! where did you get your avatar/profile pic?? looks familiar. hehe

 

Also, in more fairness, I have thought about going to the doctor to try to get the ol' generalized anxiety disorder dx, but it gave me too much anxiety. Like, where do I start? What kind of doctor? I don't have a Primary care provider .do I need a referral? Wtf do I do? What do I say?

It overwhelms me so I dont do anything instead

 

I kind of want to go to a doctor for anxiety. I really think it'll help my pool game, especially high level opponents. I don't know though I'm just so anxious that the drugs will change me. Lol. One my sister swore when she came off drugs she changed and she broke up with long term for, realized didn't love him and I just don't want to do that to my relationship. It's too scary to think about like she legit changed her whole life from coming off drugs and I already like my life.

 

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being dismissive in regards to your thoughts and feelings about your mental health. I don't want to be like Chris here, basically. So, that's why I made a point to say that I'm probably just being a bitch.

And I know, but every time I do... it's so generalized... that it's not helpful. Like I said, we all benefit from therapy, so... yea, it helps going to see someone to talk about my daily problems, but it doesn't REALLY help. I still have the same self image. I hate my life. I want to die. I don't bathe, and I have other odd to quirky mannerisms. All that is still a prime focus.

 

I've had anxiety to the point where it inhibited my daily functioning. It was a strange experience, like something was invading my brain. I knew the thoughts I was having, as well as the compulsive behaviors I would perform in order to relieve the thoughts, were totally crazy. But I kept doing them. It was a few years where this was happening. It was upsetting at the time, as I was a college freshman and sophomore. Growing up, I had gone through similar but less intense phases of anxiety. I just assume that it is something that will happen to me on and off: just a variation of my normal.

 

i hear that! Oh man! I mean, I had free therapy and/or group therapy in college (university ) and yet I would skip so much and or cancel and ultimately just quit it, for all the reasons (or well, all the non financial ones) you mentioned above. Add trying to fit it into my already busy assed schedule of classes and "extracurriculars" that were required and just ...yeah bleh!

and I think I may have read your post earlier too. sorry I forgot. think we share stuff too hehe I say it as if it's a good thing. I guess it kinda sucks, but at least we aren't alone.

 

I think a certain amount of anxiety is a sign of mental HEALTH. I think you can channel any serious anxiety in your pool games to something else - like taking extra time on a shot you question etc. BUT from what I've been reading, you've been doing very very good in pool and I'm sure anti-anxiety pills would NOT help you do better.

I think everybody has quirks and idiosyncrasies...shoot that is what makes us individuals. I guess what I'm saying is that despite you not following what is considered the "norm" in everything, I think you are mentally healthy.


edit: In fact, I think you are Very mentally healthy as well as able to read between the lines of people say/don't say...a person with mental illness RARELY can read between the lines and actually get it right.

 

EXACTLY!

You guys tell me to just go see a doctor. That's not as easy as it sounds for someone that may possibly be mental ill. There is a lot to it, especially for the things I want to specifically get tested for. So, I try, I fail, and then I don't bother for a few years.

 

You don't have to have medication. You can always have psychotherapy, or some other form of talk therapy.

 

I started to reply to this and it started making me anxious again. (not you, but my thoughts and where I was going). yeah, I've revealed enough in one post. Part of my anxiety these days, stems from sharing too much. Like I said, some folks would probably be happy about that (or no, they'd probably say I'm being rude by saying this now. oh #%$#^%!!! lol)

yeah, so I'm out. I will just nod. **nods**

 

I don't think I suffer from depression. I do get sad if something bad happens. But, depression isn't that. Depression is basically being sad without any onset. So, you have an ongoing sadness regardless of anything in your life. However, I do think I have anxiety.

As I mentioned, I was going to school for social work, as well as another major, but that's not here or there. Anyways, I was in school when I started feeling really... tight. So, I went to the bathroom, hide myself in the one of the stalls, and I started crying really badly. Nothing had happened for me to have this... whatever it was. It just happened. Long story short, I got found by one of the students who alerted my teachers. And it became a thing. I dropped out after that. Actually, no. For a week after I didn't go to my internship, and then I called them telling them that I quit and that I'm in the process of dropping out. And then I dropped out.

 

haha (not laughing at you, laughing at the irony) This sounds waaaay too familiar! I feel like folks were pushing me to go see a doctor just because I was asking questions. Just because they didn't want to take the time to answer or even give a #%$#% about me, doesn't mean I need to flippin' see a doctor!!! Oh man! The shit some people put me through makes me question whether I really should see one, and then I just realize they're all...well, I'll be fair and just say that they just dont seem to see things through my eyes. Only see what they think they want to see and reject anything they don't understand). :/