Famous Last Words

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Meagain, Jun 6, 2017.

  1. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

    Messages:
    19,849
    Likes Received:
    13,871
    I can't get to sleep.
    So, I'm laying in bed, with two of my cats, and I'm thinking, "I'm 66 years old and what do I have to show for all those years?" What will I leave for those who remain behind? Or whom, whatever. It's getting late in the day and I don't have many options so I decided the only thing I can do at this point is come up with some famous last words.

    You know something like, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse", or "Rosebud". Something like that.
    So I got out of bed, grabbed a bag of Cheese Doodles and thought I'd get my ideas on the record...just in case...just in case.

    Here's what I have so far.

    If I'm at peace, and ready to go, I'm gonna say, "I think I'll just close my eyes for a moment." And that'll be that.
    If I'm feeling philosophical, or perhaps I want to inject a little satire I'll say, "That was fun!"
    If I'm in a good mood I'll say, "Geronimo!"
    Bad mood....I'll just scowl.... really hard....so I get the message across that words aren't needed. Then when people ask "What were his last words?", everyone will say "He just scowled".

    (Oops, damn Cheeze Doodle dust. Wait a minute till I clean off my keyboard)........

    Now, if it's an unexpected death coming on, like I see this piano falling down on my head, I'm gonna say, "SHIT!"
    If the piano is falling because I'm the one who let go of the rope I'll say, "Fuck Me." In a kinda soft voice.
    If I'm the one who came up with the idea of lifting a 500 pound piano with an old hemp rope and a broken pulley I'll say, "Fuck you, you bunch of pussies, I'll do it myself!"

    And I think that covers almost every situation.
    Except for terrorist attacks.
    I'm really worried about these A Rab terrorists Trump is always ranting about. So I need a few good words to put them in their place if they blow me up.
    Something that I can shout at them as they press that button on their suicide vest that'll make them stop and think, "He's right. I'm an asshole." It'll be too late for both of us but I'll get the last word and then I can rest in peace.

    Anybody got any ideas?
     
    7 people like this.
  2. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

    Messages:
    27,694
    Likes Received:
    4,467
    don't worry about what you don't have. you don't need anything that you don't get pleasure personally by making use of.
    life isn't any more about symbolic gain then it is about what anybody owes anyone.
    its about how we create the kind of world we have to live in by how we live in it.
    that's not some religious/ideological mumbo jumbo.
    that's where the feeling of being at peace with what you've done or not being comes from.
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,272
    Likes Received:
    1,892
    lol no

    they don't do that
     
  4. tumbling.dice

    tumbling.dice Visitor

    "I hid the money in..."
     
    2 people like this.
  5. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

    Messages:
    19,849
    Likes Received:
    13,871
    I'm thinking, "They're virgins 'cause they're ugly!!!"
     
  6. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

    Messages:
    27,031
    Likes Received:
    6,519
    I Maintain My Innocence....... :)



    Cheers Glen.
     
  7. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

    Messages:
    27,031
    Likes Received:
    6,519
    I Did Not Have Sex With That Woman...... :D ..............The Most Famous Of Famous Last Words......[​IMG]



    Cheers Glen.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Joshua Tree

    Joshua Tree Remain In Light

    Messages:
    4,844
    Likes Received:
    1,630
    "I told you I was ill"

    Spike Milligan
     
  9. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,133
    Likes Received:
    7,213
    Last words " watch me pass this Bus at Ninety !"
     
  10. Ged

    Ged Tits and Thigh Man.

    Messages:
    7,006
    Likes Received:
    2,988
    "Finally I get to know..."

    DEATH
     
  11. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    You're now looking, for the last time, at the mortal body of Francis Elroy Duffy, born to John and Edna Duffy, good, God-fearing folk. Who raised me up to be a good man and a good Christian, and I was a good Christian, a good husband to my beloved wife, good father to my children, who I leave behind, hoping that they, and all you, will learn this here lesson which I leave you with. When you take the devil into your mouth, you're doomed! For he is lying there in wait for you inside that bottle of whiskey. Waiting for you to take him into your mouth. Waiting to get down into your guts where he can do his devil's work. Liquor is the most foul, evil thing in this here world. It destroyed good men like myself. It'll destroy you too. Beer is not much better - it's slower, cheaper. So take these words of advice. And remember, you heard them from a poor sinner, got no more cause to lie, 'cause he's going to meet his Maker. Now he's ready. Well that's all I've got to say.



    i watched hang 'em high last night
     
    2 people like this.
  12. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,133
    Likes Received:
    7,213
    Reminds me of this Epitaph
    ?
    ?
    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a .44
    No Less No More.
     
  13. egger

    egger Member

    Messages:
    34,025
    Likes Received:
    35,599
    "You don't need to turn off the electrical power if you know what you are doing."
     
  14. Total Darkness

    Total Darkness 100% Cocoa

    Messages:
    1,915
    Likes Received:
    748
    If i can laugh and smile before my death, that'd be more than enough. Just saying "thank you" would be good enough.
     
  15. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    It's not important you dieing with a clear heart, fit body and a good soul..

    It's skidding sideways shouting.. whoooooo hoooooooo
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,272
    Likes Received:
    1,892
    Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing.
     
  17. newo

    newo Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    11,699
    Likes Received:
    12,006
    There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry. - George Armstrong Custer
     
  18. egger

    egger Member

    Messages:
    34,025
    Likes Received:
    35,599
    Airline pilot to copilot during foggy conditions: "What's a goat doing up here at this altitude?"
     
    1 person likes this.
  19. hotwater

    hotwater Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    50,601
    Likes Received:
    38,895
    Perhaps one of the most famous ......

    "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country"

    Nathan Hale (before being executed for spying on British troops)



    Hotwater
     
  20. egger

    egger Member

    Messages:
    34,025
    Likes Received:
    35,599
    This one is for real. Circa 1990's at a public air show, a large aircraft doing a slow pass crashed beyond the trees in a large fireball and plume of black smoke. Seconds before the crash, the last words heard by one of the pilots were:

    "You want to show off, huh?"
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice