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Sister Issues




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#11 Bookgirlhere

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Posted April 19 2017 - 06:27 AM

I understand what you're saying. I guess i just hadn't really thought of things in that way. I keep thinking she's not the victim here, they both did this...but you're right, i guess i just have to be there for her, for when she's ready to talk. I didn't want to make myself the victim, i just hated everything that i was feeling. I hated this feeling of hopelessness and feeling like i'm losing my family. Anxiety and depression hit me like a train, straight on...i just needed some perspective with this issue, as you can see i'm all over the place.



#12 morrow

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Posted April 19 2017 - 06:33 AM

I'm understanding where your coming from..Maybe you both need a hug..Good place to start..

#13 puff n stuff

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Posted April 19 2017 - 06:10 PM

what are the ages of the two cousins? Your sister is 17 years older than the cousin? Are they the same sex?
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#14 ʈuɱɓɭiɳɠ.ƌičɛ

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Posted April 19 2017 - 07:05 PM

I understand what you're saying. I guess i just hadn't really thought of things in that way. I keep thinking she's not the victim here, they both did this...but you're right, i guess i just have to be there for her, for when she's ready to talk. I didn't want to make myself the victim, i just hated everything that i was feeling. I hated this feeling of hopelessness and feeling like i'm losing my family. Anxiety and depression hit me like a train, straight on...i just needed some perspective with this issue, as you can see i'm all over the place.

I'm curious how old you are.  You may be trying to deal with more than you can handle.  Just remember to take care of yourself first, there is nothing selfish about that.  Talk to a professional if you think that would help.  Anxiety and depression are serious problems, it can really derail your life.


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#15 Bookgirlhere

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Posted April 20 2017 - 09:59 PM

I'm actually 25, my sister is 19 and my cousin is 18 (male). Thanks for your advice, i know i need to calm down and take care of me first, but at this point i can't even do that. I just feel like my mom is most important and i can't deal with me until i know she's ok. It's frustrating because i don't doubt she must feel the same way, which is why when my sister moves back in with us, i feel like there is going to be constant tension and an awkward feeling, that i don't know if i'll or she will be able to handle.



#16 Vanilla Gorilla

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Posted April 21 2017 - 04:54 AM

I know she didn't lie about my stepfather. She said it all started when she was really young, about 9 yrs old. He even admitted to it, so i don't doubt her on that. I'm just confused. My aunt was the person she first told when she finally came out, so that's why she took her in.

 

And so is this guy in jail or what.? Charged with anything at all? Not that hard nowadays

 

He admitted it to who? You directly

 

Uuuuuh huh

 

 

 

 when my sister moves back in with us

 

 

Uuuuh huh



#17 Mr. Man

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Posted April 21 2017 - 05:14 AM

I'm actually 25, my sister is 19 and my cousin is 18 (male). Thanks for your advice, i know i need to calm down and take care of me first, but at this point i can't even do that. I just feel like my mom is most important and i can't deal with me until i know she's ok. It's frustrating because i don't doubt she must feel the same way, which is why when my sister moves back in with us, i feel like there is going to be constant tension and an awkward feeling, that i don't know if i'll or she will be able to handle.

In some states, cousins can legally marry each other, although it may depend on to what degree they are cousins (first, second, etc.) But since your sister and cousin are both now consenting adults, I don't think you can tell them how to live their lives. Except maybe that your mom could say that if your sis and cousin are going to live under her roof, no sexual activity between them is allowed. But since you said their relationship is consensual, there's no rape or sexual assault or other crime being committed, with the exception (again) of whether sexual contact between blood relatives is against the law where you live. 



#18 Bookgirlhere

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Posted April 21 2017 - 08:09 PM

My stepdad did admit to it, not to me, but to the people who confronted him, my aunt and mom. my family can't accept this relationship, so my mom is allowing her to move back home in agreement she continues with college here. They are hoping distance will get rid of these feelings they have for each other, of course if they chose to do otherwise then it would be up to them to make it on their own, this is why my sister agreed to my moms rules. We've said to them...they broke our trust and we think they have made a mistake. If they choose to break these new opportunities and conditions then for our family, it will be the last straw. I know for some, consensual is consensual and there is nothing we can do, but if that's the case and this were to happen again in the future then that would be the end for our relationship.




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