Why The Hell Must I Know Shit Before It Happens.....

sometimes I hate my intuition and foreknowledge.

I "knew" my wife before I met her.
I have "known" every job I would work including the current one.
I "knew" when my wife conceived and what to name the kids each time, the last being the most weird in that within a minute of orgasm a voice in my head told me "you have created a child and her name will be Sarah". about 6 weeks later the ultrasound confirmed what I heard in my head.
etc., etc., etc.,
my life since age 18 has pretty much been acting out a script I knew in advance, don't ask me to explain, it would only get more weird.
(I'm often an asshole because the empathy involved in all this is almost too much, I've commented before that I know some of you more than you may think)

So that brings me to this year..........

For roughly 15-20 years I have known in my core that when I became 55 it would be a year of significant change.

I hate whenever that shit is right!

So far since turning 55 shit in my marriage has reached a point to where I am seriously considering divorce,
AND
a complete change in finances because our personal business is tanking and we need a new "approach", so I got a new job, which is it's own ball of bullshit to contend with.

and the 2 (so far) BIG FUCKING CHANGES:
We are being evicted from the home we have been in for 24 years.
We haven't found a place yet and literally could be homeless by this time next week. (may not be logging on for a bit)
My current landlord refuses to budge (fucking greedy ignorant ass-wipe!!!!)
the father of our three oldest kids (my step-kids) is literally on his deathbed and is only expected to make it to Wednesday if we are lucky.

the need to move may see us leaving the state, so another major change.
I'm not actually opposed to radical change, but does it have to be so mother-fucking stressful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn, sometimes I hate this foreknowledge/intuition shit!!!!


WTF ???!!!

 

I feel your pain. And let me say that I'm sorry to hear that your life has become so stressful. But I have the same problem. I always seem to know when things are going to happen. The latest, I knew my girlfriend of five years was going to leave. We were so close and never thought it would come to this. But about a month leading up to it, I just had a feeling. I hate being right. And it seems to always be the bad shit. Why can't I ever foresee the positive things. I am a pretty positive, happy go lucky person. I dunno, but I know, kinda, how you feel.

 

stop listening to the voices in your head and just take things as they come. Obviously it's doing you no good thinking about it in such a way. I hate hearing that things are sucking right now, but screw those voices of prediction and whatnot. I mean, it's a waste to worry about that when you've got reality begging for your attention.

Actually, I'm reading ?mizzy?'s comment...yeah, I mean I've "predicted" things too. I think it's intuition and well, I think it just helped me to do something about what I ultimately had anticipated. Yes, it sucked, and it actually was worse in some ways than I predicted, but better in other ways, and I was able to make some peace about it before it happened, so that was a good thing...

So, I guess I'm saying that I can relate to the "prediction", but you can't really let it be a burden for you. Let it be productive (like the wife and the baby and the jobs-well these were good once, right? AND they still might be in the end. Don't lose hope.), but once it's just hurting you (like this ominous age 55 thing), then you need to let it go....

vent it out here and then let it go!

 

Ahhh man...that is just damn brutal!!!

I, too, understand completely about sometimes just knowing - it is NOT A CHOICE of "listening or not" - those voices or thoughts or whatever one wants to call "it" is simply there. There is NO denying what one knows. Well, you can try to deny it - only to find out you should have faced it all along and perhaps be more "ready". Sometimes there is no way to get "ready" for bad stuff.

For what its worth, my heart goes out to you. Try to go to the "good place" in your head and find the best possible thing to do out of the bad things available.

You HAVE to find or have a good place to go mentally to maintain sanity...well I know if I didn't have a place to go, I for sure would not be posting....I'd be either dead or in a residential mental institution.

Now for "my good question" did you know you would know me?

And just because I feel I must/need to say this - please put off thinking about possibly divorcing while you have all of this other major (traumatic and probably bad) things happening.

 

always look forward to hearing what you have to say, Lynn.

I am looking forward to the changes, but the transitioning is a bitch, and NOBODY wants to rent to folks who have a big pit-mix dog, but we can't get rid of Buddy.
it will all work out, even if we have to move to another state.


and no, I didn't "know I would know you" but as I have gotten to know you over the years, you are pretty much what my intuition indicates.
not so much "knowing beforehand" but rather more like "oh yeah, I remember this person or place" familiarity.
as I said, my life is like a script being acted out, there haven't been any major surprises.

 

Yeah that really sucks, moving and especially an unplanned move due to circumstances, is really fucking stressful and I feel for you. The pit bull situation I'm sure just compounds it.

I am intrigued by your psychic powers, however. Is your intuition telling you this will all turn out for the best?

 

Oh wait, so she had three kids already when you....at errr, 55 minus about 24-30, so she was somewhere between 25 - 31


Not that I'd expect the truth out loud, but why talk about divorce now? late 50s seem to be a big age for divorce, especially from women...but seemingly you too


Do you think it doesnt have to do with anything else other than when a lot of folk get to that age, you just want a nap and some piece and quiet, EVERYTHING just becomes noise

 

Ok,, who is she?

and for someone intuitive, you have sure been off about me a few times...

I wish you luck and a happy transition doing whatever you need to do next....

 

I've sometimes had accurate intuitions, but not to the degree that you have.

So maybe it's best to consider how you can best relate to these intuitions? It could be that you could use these intuitions to try to create better outcomes.

It could also be that having such intuitions could give you a better perspective about life/the universe

Is this mutual with your wife? Have you thought about couples counseling? Do you think your marriage is worth trying to save?

Have you heard of SBA and SCORE? They might be able to help you either revitalize your business, or put it to bed as gracefully as possible

If you and your wife are running this business together, that's probably a big source of stress in your marriage. Even if things were running smoothly, it's hard to get enough personal space when you are living and working together.

Sorry to hear that. Did you not pay the rent, or is there some other cause? They have to go through the full eviction proceedings to get rid of you, so if worst comes to worst, there's still that

You may want to try calling 211 or visiting www.211.org. They can help with housing, employment, healthcare, and a bunch of other things.

So you've clearly got more stresses/changes on your plate than you can efficiently handle.

Hopefully you can postpone some of the changes, and maybe get some help with the others

If you need to move, can the adult children be recruited to help out?

I'm wondering if some type of temporary arrangement with housing would be best, rather than having to sign a new lease, etc.

Since you've got stress in your marriage as it is, a little time apart might be good. Maybe she could stay with a relative. Since the spring is here, something like living in an RV for a couple months wouldn't necessarily be a bad option.

A little time apart in temporary housing could give you time to make a better long-term plan once your employment/marriage situation becomes more clear.

Hope that things can get better soon!

 

thanks newbie, good advice and thanks for the contact info.

 

Naw, I feel I have decent handle on your personality, I just poke you to elicit a different perspective at times,but I consider you HF family as well as anyone else here.

 

It will ultimately be for the best, the timing is the worst part of it. We were already planning on moving next year after our youngest finished high school. That is also a challenge because the only reason we have stayed here this long is because of the schools being consistently in the top 10 for Ca., and it has paid off as all our kids are smart and off on successful adult lives.
The best thing is they are/are going to be more successful than I have been, and isn't that the goal of parenting?
So it will eventually turn out for the better, but just like coming up on a heavy dose of psychedelics, it's the transition that is always the hardest.


throughout all this I feel our marriage will either come to an end or be much stronger, only time will tell, either way I'm resolved regarding that.
Been together over 25 years now, don't really want to toss it, but also have to consider other factors as well.


and again, it really isn't like psychic powers in that I know beforehand what is going to happen, but rather when new situations or people significant in my life turn up, there is a very powerful sense of familiarity, like I am acting out a script I forgot I memorized, but in my core I always know the general intent, direction and purpose of these "unique situations" in my life.

 

yes, it will ultimately be for the batter, even if that means my marriage ends and I die.

I hesitate to claim psychic powers, it really is as if I am acting out a script I forgot I memorized. I don't know stuff before it happens, but whenever encountered with people, places or events that have significance to me and my personal journey, it is all familiar and holds little surprise, and I always know the intent, purpose and direction such people or events represent to me.
here is a clue, if you treat every significant person in your life as simply a reflection of a part or aspect of you, the life education makes much more sense, after all, everything is about me, isn't it?
We all exist within our own little bubble that interacts with other little bubbles, but damn if they don't always work out in some fashion for the overall growth and learning of "I"

 

okay, that is weird.
I NEVER hit "post" for the reply to Mel and accidentally hit another key and "lost the post", so I retype a reply and then there is the one that got lost!!????

my reality is taking some odd turns........

 

LOL.....VG, always a fresh breath of fart air......

yeah, she had 3 kids when we met and I was 31,she was 30.
We've been together for 25+ years and married for almost 24. Does that satisfy your curiosity?

and there is a LOT more involved than just being old and wanting a nap....LOL

 

There is? People are so predictable though





Ok, well divorce rates for 50+ ers are at record rates and at the same time STI infections for 60+ ers have been increasing for a while.

Those two things dont / shouldnt exactly match up.....if you solely rely at face value the stuff people say out loud



5 daughters, 6 or 7 kids all up was it? That automatically puts your wife in the top 10% of one of two categories though.


Your first post in this thread is basically about how you can see everything coming now, everyone else is too predictable.....


Except your wife, because you are the last person to be objective, clinical about everything regarding her


There are only two types of woman that get to 4 or more kids, a rule that is universal, every single time.



And I already know which of those categories she is in, as you know what is likely to happen within two years of your youngest finishing high school


And that was all predetermined by the time she was 6 yrs old, 24 years or so before you even met her

 

Can you please name the two categories and the one she is in?

 

^ well, there's always the religious nuts. and white trash of course. and women who can't have babies normally so they take fertility drugs and get surprise quintuplets. and every single woman from my grandparents' generation. i'm sure i'm missing several.

 

As hard as it is to understand (for me, that is) I have actually known women that WANTED 6 or 7 children.

I never felt like that; but, it is a real thing.

I've also known a few women that no form of birth control would work for them - I'm talking the pill didn't work, an IUD migrated up into the stomach and had to be surgically removed, and even though condoms are supposed to be 100% effective, they are not! They tear, come off etc etc. Withdrawal method is something that Jr High kids think might seriously work; but, I've never known an actual thinking adult that believed that would be effective.

The only birth control that you can ALWAYS count on working is abstinence, and what a bummer that is, right? lol

I also don't know what "group" Nox's wife is in, nor do I think I want to know.

 

well VG is a militant woman hating homosexual, so any and everything he says concerning women is 98% utter bullshit and ludicrous, so I don't put much stock in what the gorilla has to say about women.

my wife is the group of normal people who have kids, no big mystery there.