Cheating

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Lvlygrl, Mar 22, 2017.

  1. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Members

    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    109
    I've been asked this before and was wondering how everyone else felt about the subject.

    Most people here are either married or in a serious relationship, so what I'd like to know is, if given the chance, would you cheat on your spouse if you knew you were never going to get caught? And if so, why and what would push you to do it?
     
  2. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    I'm neither married or in a relationship, but if i was, i wouldn't cheat!

    Nor would I with a married guy! You don't touch another woman's man!

    You can't be totally sure you won't get caught! O you also would have to be a good liar! People seldom are...
     
    3 people like this.
  3. bft4evr

    bft4evr Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,034
    Likes Received:
    6,856
    Nope.
     
  4. Uncut

    Uncut Members

    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    52
    Nope would not cheat

    I think allot of people are here to just explore fantasies get to know people as there are people here of all different ages and cultures and locations so it makes things very interesting.
     
  5. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Members

    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    109
    You see....I thought the same thing. I just became separated but I'm technically still married and my husband, or what ever you want to call him, has already moved on, if he hadn't already. I originally came here to try and ask what I was doing wrong and how can I spice things up, but now I want to know about the cheating aspect of it all. Right now, I'm in a position that I could probably go out and do what ever but it still feels wrong. It's one thing to tell about your sexual fantasies and harmlessly flirt once in a while, but to actually let someone else get physically close to you is something entirely different.

    Morrow, I didn't even see that side of it, thank you for opening my eyes to it. Cause this girl he's with, she knew we were married. And I can't lie worth a crap...lol. That was something extremely big in our household growing up....always tell the truth no matter what kind of trouble you think it'll bring.
     
  6. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    16,175
    Likes Received:
    4,916
    Nope, because it was never about the physical for me, anyway.
     
  7. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    105
    I've been known to add a few extra hotels on Trafalga Sqaure when she ain't watching. >.>

    But no. I don't cheat. We got good communication, if I say I'm interested, she lets me experience it. That's what I love about my girl, she's not going to take away anything that I want to do. That kind of bond cannot be broken. It's too perfect.
     
  8. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Happened to me. I forgave, then bla bla bla! Now no one wants him, including me, so i left him!
    Felt the same, till i got divorced, went back to my maiden name..Now I'm the only person in this relationship, and i like it this way..
    Best pay back....Be happy.. kills them..lol
     
    2 people like this.
  9. JoeyM51

    JoeyM51 Currently locked in chastity for the last 4 years.

    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    95
    My marriage was like described in this article: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20649/why-my-husband-i-sometimes-have-sex-with-other-people.html

    The only difference is that for about 30 years my wife and I shared the same girlfriend. Cheating was not possible in my marriage because to cheat, you need a rule against sex with others. Pay attention to the part of what often happens when you lock down a marriage. The reason I say that is because all of the married women I had sex with all complained about being taken for granted. I took them out to fine restaurants, seduced them, and did not just give them orgasms but took them from them. In a marriage all that stuff dies out eventually which leads to cheating.

    If we are honest with ourselves, we know that we get attracted to others. Also, sex with someone new is always more exciting than with the same partner for 10 years. It is like exploring new territory rather than knowing what buttons to press on each other with nothing new to explore. Sort of like watching your favorite movie over and over again and still enjoying it but not as much as a new blockbuster movie. :)

    We are married for 44 years. Our sex life is unlike anything I dreamed of. There is nothing like having sex with a hot new girl then going home to the woman you love who asks you if you had a good time. Then she ravishes you to prove that she is still the best. Put simply, in marriage you have no competition but when you are both free to see others, you always have to be on your A game and that is what I did. I took good care of my wife and she did the same.

    As awful as this may sound to the marriage police, between us there were only 9 others who we had sex with and a few of those were done as a couple. I know plenty of married men who have sex with more than 9 people in a year and that is all we had over 44 years. The thing is that we did not go out looking for sex partners but if the situation arose when we needed something to feel good about ourselves or felt a strong sexual attraction to someone trying to seduce you, have fun and enjoy.
     
  10. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Members

    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    109
    I understand the open concept of marriages but I never had that choice when I even offered it. I thought it'd get thing stirring for him again, and me. Some of yous are lucky you have that type of relationship where jealousy isn't an issue.
    I feel pretty free now, but I still can't do it....I tried and I just ended up saying sorry and walking away and things didn't even get going. Even though ex-hub already has someone....I just can't. I'm pretty sure they've been together a while before I even addressed these issues, which sucks balls.
    Any who, thank you everyone for you're opinions and advice. At least this way I can go into my next relationship with a better understanding of what I want and expect. And that's if I even have another.
     
  11. Panama Jack

    Panama Jack Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    1,877
    Likes Received:
    2,181
    Lvlygrl,
    As a man who is on his third marriage. First one passed away young. The second out and out cheated on me. My third wife was a widow at a young age and we found each other. Wow, what a partner she is. All I can say there is someone out there for you.We are a senior now and past rising kids. My wife is a sexual creature and I have a very high sex drive. Needless to say, we have sex no less than 3-4 times weekly and Masturbate together. Take your time. It sounds like you want to dip your toes back in the dating scene. It also sounds like you are a sexual lady as well. Communicate with your date straight out what you expect. Be clear on that.
    I'm a man, but a gentleman. I would want to know what to expect.
    Only the other hand my wife and I believe everyone should have sex partner. We believe sex is healthy and fun. So we are OK with friends with benefits. Try masturbating more to relieve stress and tension.
    Forget about your ex and enjoy your freedom even with kids. They will adjust.
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. undefeated

    undefeated Member

    Messages:
    596
    Likes Received:
    69
    if you cheat you dont love your partner. so if someone cheats they should not be a scumbag low life by keep it a secret and instead tell their partner. if you cheat and get infected and give it to your innocent partner you deserve to go to hell but an open relationship is a different story (which isnt really a real relationship anyway). bottom line dont be a little devil and cheat
     
  13. olderndirt

    olderndirt Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,727
    Likes Received:
    1,749
    No. I never cheated when we were dating (7 years), although she did. I haven't felt any temptation to cheat since we've been married, so it hasn't been hard to avoid cheating.
     
  14. Alice in SC

    Alice in SC Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,345
    Likes Received:
    3,483
    It's not cheating if your husband wants you to or watches !
     
  15. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

    Messages:
    9,578
    Likes Received:
    6,215
    I can't fathom cheating. I'm freaky but also incredibly old fashioned and conservative. I don't believe in cheating, open relationships, threesomes etc. I don't judge others who are into those things, but it's not for me.
     
    3 people like this.
  16. gingeroot

    gingeroot Members

    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    17
    Cheating isn't about sex. It's about power, control, and violation of trust.

    Believe it or not I have known people who were able to cheat while in open relationships because of this. If sex has gotten that dull for you that you need to have someone else, by all means do it. Just make sure your partner knows it and is OK with it. If your relationship can't handle a little extra sex than maybe it wasn't as strong as you thought.

    A nice man who I met out in the real world explained it really well. He has a girlfriend and a wife. His wife knows and is fully supportive of it because she knows it makes him happy and a good man who will always do the right thing. They don't share his girlfriend, but she does visit often enough. Everyone knows what is going on and why. And that is the important thing.
     
  17. PeterF

    PeterF Members

    Messages:
    72
    Likes Received:
    16
    Nope.
    Its is not a question of being caught, but a question of respect.
    I've not been involved with no one besides my wife, and if I did, it could only be with her knowledge and approval.
     
  18. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Members

    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    109
    So why do people cheat then. My ex hub and I were married for 16 years and we had a great sex life up until a few years ago, and not from my lack of trying.
    I find it funny that the very next day he said he was taking so and so out for dinner....yea slap in the face. Then 2 weeks later a guy showed interest in me and I thought why not, but I couldn't.
    Everyone who has posted here says no, it's wrong, it's disrespectful or some are lucky to have a mutual agreement about an open relationship.
    Why cheat?
     
  19. gingeroot

    gingeroot Members

    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    17
    One of the things hammered into me growing up is that "Monogamy is unnatural". We aren't designed to be that way. So the only thing keeping those relationships together is a social contract.

    My theory? Peopler cheat because they can. Just like a lock will only keep an honest man honest. If people have the opportunity and think they can get away with it they are more likely to do it.
     
  20. LanaH102

    LanaH102 Members

    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    59
    An interesting comment. What defines cheating in an open relationship anyway?..LOL
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice