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Naked And Afraid

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#1 NoxiousGas


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Posted March 20 2017 - 07:19 PM

For those of you who don't know, there is a show called "Naked and Afraid" in which they take two strangers, a man and a woman, drop them off in some God forsaken jungle or desert with only one tool each of their choosing, a map and not a stitch of clothing. The goal is to survive for 21 days and hike to a predetermined extraction point.

Pretty cool show.


So who do you think would make a good pairing for Naked and Afraid?

Name the couple, the location, what tool each would choose, and the outcome of the show.


it can be celebs, fictional characters, HF members, but has to people the community here would recognize.




I'm gonna go for the brass ring right off the bat and go with;


Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton in the African Savanna


The Trumpster chooses as his survival tool his cell phone so he can Tweet about Hillary.........too bad there is no cell phone service where he is headed.

Hillary chooses some industrial strength foundation makeup, heaven forbid the camera got a shot of her zombified pallor.


It goes ok for about 48 seconds until Donald begins talking.........

after two hours in the African sun Hillary's makeup dries and hardens locking her face in a morbid "Jokeresque" grin, and Donald is still rambling on and trying to Tweet.

After another 26 hours of Trump's incessant moronic rambling Clinton commits suicide by running into a pack of hyenas. They all get the runs.

Donald continues to ramble on about his self importance for the remaining time and would have won, but he complained about the lack of room service and then he stepped on a thorn while hiking out, filed a lawsuit against the producers and we have to wait at least another two years before we find out if he finished the challenge.

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#2 penguinsfan13


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Posted March 21 2017 - 06:12 AM

Me and Christina Ricci

I would bring the biggest bottle of alcohol
She would bring a lifetime supply of the pill.

doo be doo be doo, beware of the penguins.

#3 youfreeme


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Posted March 21 2017 - 03:25 PM

Me and Christina Ricci

I would bring the biggest bottle of alcohol
She would bring a lifetime supply of the pill.


I had no idea what that was so I googled her and her forehead is startlingly large.  I'm sure it could be used for survival, somehow.

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#4 Loc–Nar


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Posted March 25 2017 - 07:09 PM

Naked and Afraid season 7

GLENGLEN__his item..... a Toaster
Morrow__her item ......bag of Coffee

Location: Maldivian island

Outcome of the show:

Day 1: Meet and Greet. Morrow looks at Glen's huge twig and berries, Glen looks at Morrow's sweet Strawberry Creams and a beautiful peach.

Day 2: Glen wants to make shelter on the beach. Morrow wants to make a tree house shelter. They do rock , paper, scissors. Morrow loses and is pissed.

Day 3: Glen builds a hut without a woman's bathroom. Morrow doesn't like it, storms off, tension builds.

Day 4: Morrow's pissed about no bathroom in hut, she builds a tree house right over Glen's hut. Glen's happy as a clam he has hut to himself.

Day 5: Morrow tells Glen that his rather large twig is distracting her, and offers to weave Glen a pair of knickers made out of green vegetation. Glen wears it proudly and begins to itch like crazy. Morrow is giggling next to a huge patch of poison ivy. Glen is pissed big time.

Day 6: Glen watches a beautiful sunset from his doorway and feels water drops on his head. Glen can hear Morrow giggling from her tree house bathroom.

Day 7: Glen is pissed from sleeping in a wet hut, and goes and makes a knife and fish hooks out of the metal shell of his toaster. Morrow is needing some of her coffee NOW! But has no cup.

Day 8: Glen is giggling as he chops down Morrow's tree house. Morrow is pissed.

Day 9: Morrow has no choice but to move in with Glen . Morrow takes over the hut. Glen can't figure out how the hut he made became Morrow's hut. Glen's pissed.

Day 10: Morrow needs to drink some coffee bad. Morrow wants to make a fire. While Glen sleeps, Morrow cuts off most of Glen's hair for fire starter. Glen wakes and is pissed.

Day 11: Morrow wants to make a coffee cup out of the remaining metal from Glen's toaster. Glen says no , it's HIS toaster! Morrow's pissed. Glen hides Morrow's coffee

Day 12: While Glen is sleeping/dreaming rubbing his junk, Morrow sneaks away, makes a cup from remaining toaster metal. Morrow is all smiles, not only getting away with making the toaster cup, but also from seeing Glen's sensual rubbing and moaning.

Day 13: Glen is pissed his toaster metal is missing. Morrow is pissed can't find her coffee, Glen is now giggling.

Day 14: Morrow hides Glen's knife and fish hooks. Glen wants his knife and fish hooks and can't find them. Frustrated , Glen goes for a walk-a-bout. Morrow snickers.

Day 15: While Glen's gone Morrow makes snare trap with tree limb and toaster cord. Glen comes back and gets caught in Morrow's trap and is hanging upside-down.

Day 16: Morrow goes to see if she caught Glen yet. Glen chewed the toaster cord off his leg, and waited for Morrow to leave the hut. Glen hid Morrow's toaster coffee cup.

Day 17: Morrow's freaking out, no cup, no coffee.
Glen's freaking out, no knife, no fish hooks.

Day 18: Morrow and Glen make deal to return each other's stuff. Morrow is happy. Glen is happy.

Day 19: Morrow finds some scrumptious vegetables inland . Glen catches some tasty fish in the ocean. They both have an amazing dinner together.

Day 20: Morrow picks up the outside of the hut. Glen cleans the inside of the hut.

Day 21: Boat arrives to take Morrow and Glen home. They both decide to stay and live on the island as best friends.

days later......
Morrow lays in bed and wonders where the fuck she's gonna get more coffee.

Thanks NG. This was a great topic to have fun with. Morrow and Glen are great people. I wish the best for both of them.

Cheers Glen and Morrow.
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Posted March 25 2017 - 07:15 PM

BLOODY HELL.......smilielol5.gif




Cheers Glen. 

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#6 morrow


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Posted March 26 2017 - 05:09 AM

That's so funny, thanks Pete, and Glen ;)
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#7 guerillabedlam


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Posted March 26 2017 - 09:28 AM

Me and Christina Ricci

I would bring the biggest bottle of alcohol
She would bring a lifetime supply of the pill.



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