If you want to make a religion you need a set of myths, or some other form of narrative component. Otherwise people won't be engaged and it won't spread.
As it is, this religion doesn't fulfill a lot of the requirements.
- It has no moral edicts
- It does nothing to explain our current situation (or include a creation myth)
- The afterlife you describe is...pointless. an afterlife is supposed to act as an enforcer of morality and obedience to a moral code.
- it fails to outline what being a "good" or "bad" person is.
Also, if you're going to create a religion always go with a pantheon. Monotheistic religions are boring.
As a potential real-world religion with some legs, I think it needs work. As a piece of fantasy world-building it is fine. You could set a fairly nihilistic story against this kind of religious backdrop, but having it fulfill some of the above would make it more believable.
Real world religions have a kind of covergent evolution: even though they develop in isolation from each other, they usually share a lot of similar traits. If you want to create a new religion, it's best that you try and make sure to hit these beats.
Edited by autophobe2e, March 17 2017 - 06:34 AM.