Threesome Advice

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by LetsLive23, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    You sound to me like someone who just wants their cake and eat it, too. That is all fine and dandy, but be honest with your girlfriend about everything, and let her decide if she will stay with you or not...and if not...as someone else said already, find someone else who would not mind sharing you.
     
  2. LetsLive23

    LetsLive23 Members

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    Yea, I don't want someone else, but I get what your saying.
     
  3. doreigirl

    doreigirl Member

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    Here's the deal, while a threesome might be nearly every guy's fantasy it's not every woman's fantasy. So unless you are dating or are married to the right kind of girl that would be open a threesome....it just isn't going to happen....and what's worse is that you will totally screw up your relationship if you push it too hard. A threesome needs to meet the sexual desires of everyone involved...not just the man's.

    In my case, it didn't take my boyfriend at the time much to persuade me to give it a try. At that point I took control of the situation. I determined when I was ready...and I took on the task of finding the right 3rd partner. Again, just saying "Hey Honey, look who I brought home" isn't going to fly. There are so many insecurities to overcome for a woman to go through with a threesome that unless she is controlling the situation at her pace it will just never happen...or if it does she'll be miserable.

    There just can't be any jealousies....and that has to be talked about from the start. I've been part of many threesomes and never have I felt threatened by or jealous of the other woman, but I can see first hand how a woman would definitely feel that way if she weren't coming from the right frame of mind. I would probably feel more threatened by the hottie that my husband might innocently flirt with at a bar or dinner party than the hottie we have sex with together in a threesome.
     
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  4. Jo King

    Jo King wannabe

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    Maybe try another couple not just a woman. Share the love man, share the love.
     
  5. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    my fantasy is to nail OP in the ass. so obviously it has to happen now, since i can't live with not fulfilling my fantasy.
     
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  6. JoeyM51

    JoeyM51 Currently locked in chastity for the last 4 years.

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    I have had a few thousand FFM threesomes. How? My wife and bi and had a live in girlfriend for most of our 44 years of marriage. Every sex night was a threesome followed by one on one with both women. I never even asked for a threesome but my wife set it up with her best friend.

    What you described is a common danger. What you should have done is discuss rules with your wife like PIV sex or not? A secret signal to let you know she is uncomfortable with what you are doing, etc.. It is also not uncommon for the girl to try to have sex with you without your wife. What usually happens is that the husband keeps trying to convince his wife to do a threesome until she says yes just to shut him up or out of fear of his cheating. My advice is always that one no is enough and trying to convince your wife to do anything will not end well.

    I was lucky. My wife is bisexual and she brought all the women to our bed. I never had to ask a woman to join us. We shared every one of her girlfriends up to 6 years ago in our 44 year marriage. I was in love with my wife's best friend and so was my wife so it all worked out. We went out together, had sex together or one on one and no jealousy at all. Our girlfriend even got married in the middle of our triad and then split her time between us and her husband. I am one lucky guy and I know it.

    If your wife does not want to see you have intercourse with another woman, you will have to cheat or open up the marriage. My wife had no problem with me having intercourse with anyone. I have watched her have sex with both guys and girls. Read this short article which basically explains my kind of marriage. We did not start out in an ethical non monogamous marriage. I cheated first and then discussed it with my wife who was willing to try group sex with me. It was during group sex that she realized that watching me have sex with other women was arousing because of the other girls, not me. She loved sex with me afterwards when I still had the smell and taste of my sex partner on me. Threesomes work best with a bi wife. We played with a lot of married couples who also did threesomes. The only ones who made it work where those like us with a bi wife who could join in on the fun. My best friend ended up like you. The girl he and his wife shared, called him up and they started having sex without his wife. Wife found out and told him to stop. He promised to stop but kept seeing her. So his wife started having sex with her boss. They got divorced a year later. They had 3 kids and were married for about 10 years.

    My wife and I loved the same girl and we never once had a problem, not even an argument with our girlfriend or her husband. I also was allowed to have sex with other women on my own as long as it was not an affair and the exception rather than the rule. Read this and it may be something you and your wife could live with.
    https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20649/why-my-husband-i-sometimes-have-sex-with-other-people.html
     
  7. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    Instead of asking us, you should be asking her.
     
  8. SluttyJess

    SluttyJess Members

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    I think you should probably talk about it before actually doing it, decide what the limits are for both of you, what you should be allowed and not allowed to do with the other person involved in the threesome, communication. Once you both agree on what you are comfortable doing and seeing your partner do with the third member I think it will go better. And of course you have to find someone you both find attractive and lay the rules down with that person too, but I guess that goes without saying
     
  9. JoeyM51

    JoeyM51 Currently locked in chastity for the last 4 years.

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    My wife and I had a few thousand FFM threesomes. Really. The first few were with my wife's friends and then we had a threesome with my wife's best friend since childhood. It was so good that a few months later we moved her into our home and formed a poly triad. That lasted 30 years and ended just a few years ago when I moved to semi retire. Threesomes were our regular nightly sex for all that time. I have been married over 44 years.

    Here is something else no one will believe either; I have had only three relationships. I was with my ex fiancee for almost 5 years and then another girlfriend for a year. Then I met my wife and I married when I was 21. All three women are bisexual as is our girlfriend. I am in love with her as is my wife so I guess she can be considered relationship number 4.

    I never went looking for bi girls and did not even know they were bi until later on when they suggested bringing another girl into bed with us. Just lucky I guess. I think it was my liberal sexual attitude that made them feel comfortable with me in a time long ago when being none hetero had serious consequences.

    What happened to you is fairly common and why I advise couples to first make up rules. My wife has brought home a few girls who were bi curious and they just could not go through it. That was good for me since my wife would then just watch me with the other girl. You need rules and to follow them. Have a safe word or phrase that lets the other know if what they are doing makes you uncomfortable. Even have a word to stop the threesome. Let the other girl know your rules like no anal, no kissing or whatever rules you two decide on. It seems obvious that your partner is not comfortable in a threesome and the worst thing you can do it nag her into doing it again. She will end up bringing it up for the rest of your life and can even use it in a divorce proceeding. When a woman tells me no the first time, I never ask again. Some wives will give in because they are afraid that if they do not, their husband will cheat. Others will do it to just get their husbands to stop annoying them about it. That can spell disaster.

    We were a little into group sex and wife swapping and saw more than one couple get divorced when the wife, husband or both, ended up falling in love with one of the people they had a threesomem with. My wife fell in love with her best friend and moved her into our home. Over time, I went from being the focus of our threesomes to assisting the ladies in getting each other off. I have not had intercourse for longer than any of us can remember. I also wear a chastity cage and only get 4-5 orgasms a year. My wife now prefers sex with women and is not a penis fan at all. So be careful of what you wish for. Whenever you bring someone else into your relationship for sex, it becomes a minefield with more mines than fields. Don't go by porn or made up stories on the internet. It does not go as smooth as you might think. In fact, you learned that for yourself. There is fantasy and then their is reality. Most times the two do not match.
     
  10. gingeroot

    gingeroot Members

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    Everyone has been saying communication. And that is true.

    But just as important is taking charge and telling them what you expect. Any three person operation. From a military operation, a team building exercise at work, a job, or a threeway has to have a leader. If you want it, you have to be that leader. Say what is expected and solve problems that arise when faced with them.
     
  11. PrettyInPink4916

    PrettyInPink4916 Members

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    We both want a 3-some but I'm scared it will ruin my marriage
    So my husband and I have been married for about 3 1/2 years and we've grown a lot together in our sexual communication and experimentation. At this Point, he wants to see another "cock in my pussy" (his words) and I'm nervous. I won't lie, the temptation is there. I've always been very sexually oriented and its tempting to think about having a real extra cock instead of using toys. My hang up is that I want to stay "pure" for my marriage and I think that if I go through with it, I would be sacrificing my morals.
    For his part, he really wants it and he's trying to comfort me and make me feel better about it. But I just keep going over the "what-ifs" and my anxiety gets the better of me and it all seems wrong. But after a few drinks with my husband, I start getting tempted. And my husband's takes that as a sign that I do want it deep down, but I'm just scared. Which I think is true. I just don't want to ruin my marriage.
    Also, for a bit of background. He Had a normal sexual background. You know, banged a handful of girls in high school, had a couple committed relationships, sex in between. I would, say from what he's told me, he was pretty average. Some casual sex, one-time hook-ups, friend with benefits, and a couple faithful monogamous long-term relationships with someone he loved.
    Me one the other hand, well let's just say I've had a VERY colorful past. I was sexualized at a very young age and I think it became like a wildfire burning out of control. By the time I finished high school I already had no idea of what my "number" was. I'm estimating about 50. Then after that, everything spiraled out of control. I started stripping at 18 and had plenty of guys to choose from........and I did. I chose a lot. I was like a modern day hippie. Free love, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I was a free spirit and pretty much let my pussy drive the bus. It was fun and I didn't care what anyone else thought. But from my excursions, I got involved with the wrong people and was pushed into the sex-for-hire business. It's a long story but basically I ended up getting married to a man twice my age that I was scared of and had no love or respect for. It lasted 15 years until he passed. During that time, I birthed 4 children which he used as leverage to keep me there. Anyway, I think I slept with another 300+ guys. Most of them were "Johns" that my "husband" (at the time) set up and brought me to. Some were quick bangs because I wanted to, without HIM arranging or making me do. Anyway, his number is Lee's than 50, and mine is somewhere around 350-400. But that's just an estimate.
    So skip forward to now. My current husband, and love of my life, opened up to me completely about his past, and after a bit of coaxing and a lot of reassurance, I finally came clean about my while past. He kind of struggled with it at first but now he's okay with it all and even sometimes turned on about it. Which brings me to the point. This is the first normal relationship I've had and I made a promise to myself that I would hold true to my morals and integrity which means being faithful and honest and monogamous in mind and flesh. So we've come to a point where we're both wanting to explore our sex life. I'm tempted but I'm just nervous I think because of my past and I don't want him to think that I would be like I was in my past and I don't want to ruin our marriage.

    Has anyone ever experienced this? Any advice?
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2019
    thefallenone1986 likes this.

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