We Are Looking For Advice

Discussion in 'Communal Living' started by McManaway, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. McManaway

    McManaway Members

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    Here in Dayton Ohio my girlfriend and I would like to start an intentional community. She comes from a family that is extremely close to one another, and I have lived in a situation where there was a sense of unity, and oneness with those I lived with in an apartment building. So, we both know what it’s like to live a life that has very few boundaries. Unfortunately, we also know that being in a real family, and starting a new family with strangers can be rather difficult.
    The way we want the commune to be is that everything is shared and owned equally. That goes for money, cars, clothes. Anything materialistic as well as the work load.
    We would like to build the community using only earthen type material such as cob, adobe, earth bags, etc...
    To help keep a peaceful state, everything would be decided through a unanimous vote. If something isn’t voted on unanimously, but does get a majority vote, it would go through a trial run. After a few days or weeks, that same proposition would return for a vote and if it receives less votes than it did from the prior then it would be shut down. If it receives even more votes then it would continue onward while being voted on again within a certain time limit until it either received a unanimous vote or received too few votes to continue.
    Children would be home schooled or taught by a member of the community and all children would be cared for by the whole community as if they were their own. Education and personal relationships are very important.
    These ideas are only a few of the things that the community would be built around. Is there anyone out there who has had some personal experience with communes, specifically with similar ideas that could let us know of their own experiences? We won’t be attempting this for another year or so, but we want to get all the facts and opinions beforehand. Thank you all!!!
     
  2. Wu Li Heron

    Wu Li Heron Members

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    http://www.ic.org/

    That's the intentional communities website. Most intentional communities are perhaps six people and the kind of commune you are talking about is usually spiritual, with secular communes being more political. Communes are part of the Federation of Egalitarian Communities as well as the Federation of Intentional communities.

    Anyway, there are plenty of resources on the subject including books and other materials.
     
  3. McManaway

    McManaway Members

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  4. makihiko

    makihiko Official hippie since 2005

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    I would say, that would be a nice way for things to go. but realistically, people can't always live in unison forever. someone will need to take full ownership of certain things to prevent disputes.

    but if you do find the right family, then it could all work out.

    have you found any communes close by? is your family interested in communal life?
     
  5. Wu Li Heron

    Wu Li Heron Members

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    Realistically, I'd say most people have no clue what communal living is about and it requires about three years of living communally for them to get a decent idea of what it requires of them personally. Some people come from extended families or whatever and have a good idea of what it requires, but those people are few and far between these days. The problem is western cultures are more often pioneering cultures that are not adapted to communal living in any way whatsoever, whereas Asian ones are adapted to communal living. Its been said that the Japanese in particular are so crowded that any other culture in their shoes would have riots every week, but their entire culture is feudal and adapted just to living on top of each other. They even have two languages with the second language serving, among other things, as a polite way to tell someone to fuck off and mind their own business because their thoughts and secrets are the only privacy they ever have.
     
  6. makihiko

    makihiko Official hippie since 2005

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    I agree! it takes time to get to know people, who they truly are.

    I don't like saying this, but be careful who you trust, and don't trust to quickly. everything really does take time.
     
  7. Wu Li Heron

    Wu Li Heron Members

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    Socrates said, "Mankind is made of two kinds of people: wise people who know they're fools, and fools who think they are wise. An honest man is like a child, endeavor to be as you would appear to be. If you want to know who people are, watch how they behave in different groups. Never trust wealth until it has proven itself."
     
  8. Amontillado

    Amontillado Member extraordinaire HipForums Supporter

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    I think you'd do better to find an existing commune to join, rather than trying to start your own. Keeping a new group alive is so challenging that you're never likely to become stable, whereas a community that's been running a while has probably worked through the initial problems. Of course then you have to fit into whatever pattern they've created, but I think that's easier. An exception might be if you already have a solid group of friends who already work together well, but that could just mean they haven't faced enough stress to set them fighting.
     
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  9. Wu Li Heron

    Wu Li Heron Members

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    The vast majority of intentional communities consist of only six members and are not looking to expand their membership. In other words, it just depends upon what kind of community you wish to create. Most will fail within the first few years, but that says more about modern civilization than communal living and many communards I know have lived in half a dozen or more communities. Primitive tribes were often similar with some individuals leaving and joining as many as six or more different tribes over their lifetime, however, that was often considered an indication of how difficult they were to get along with.
     
  10. Amontillado

    Amontillado Member extraordinaire HipForums Supporter

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    It depends what they want, fluidity or stability. They each have their advantages and disadvantages.
     
  11. makihiko

    makihiko Official hippie since 2005

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    Exactly!
     
  12. Wu Li Heron

    Wu Li Heron Members

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    Socrates had a way with words that even puts the Taoists to shame in his use of humble and elegant simplicity.
     
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  13. gingeroot

    gingeroot Members

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    Having grown up in a community similar to this I can give you some simple advice about starting.

    1) People need to be held accountable for their actions and as a result everything can be shared but ultimately owned by someone. That person can be fictional, or representational. Saying that everything is owned by "Fire Joe the Tiki god" makes people more accountable than just saying it is for the betterment of a community. It gives an authority that needs to be answered to.

    2) Having a written set of beliefs and values also puts people accountable. Everything MUST work towards though goals. This prevents loss due to ideas that just sound good and are not pragmatic.

    3) Unless you already have money don't be afraid of using the outside society against itself. By that I mean don't be afraid to use whatever resources are at your disposal and don't feel ashamed for doing so. If you have some land and can start with a rusted old trailer home for only the $500 it takes to move it, go for it. Old pallets can be used to make building material, old cooking oil for heating, alomg with other resources. It isn't bad startig out if you are moving toward something else.
     
  14. stonethegardener

    stonethegardener Member

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    I have some questions.
    When you say that you and your friend want to start a commune, are you currently in possession of the land to do this on?
    Or are you hoping that someone else has the land and will let you set the agenda?

    There's nothing wrong with wanting certain things, but if you are starting from zero, it might be easier to visit a few existing communities that follow some of the ideas that you have, and see how they play out in practice.

    There seems to be lots of dreamers that want to live communally, but never get out of the apartment.

    Living requires that a food source be found, as well as a place to lay your head at night.
    unfortunately this often means that people have to find employment outside the community, and when we're working for the man.... sharing with people who never seem to leave the breakfast table... may not work to everyone's satisfaction.

    I hope that you will re-post with details about just how prepared you are to achieve community.... IE; have land, skill set, and specific ideas about the type of people that you would like to attract to a future community, or that you have combed through the communities guide, and have contacted some about visiting.

    Spring is here, it's a great time to go try new things!
     
  15. AlchemistGeorge

    AlchemistGeorge Living Communally since 1995

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    I recommend you buy (and read) Diane Leaf Christian's book Creating a Life Together: Practical Tools to Grow Ecovillages and Intentional Communities.
    It covers very very practical information on things like different ways to own property, understanding zoning (which is horribly important), finances, organization, your vision, choosing members, etc. etc. It is THE book on communal living.

    As has already been mentioned, starting a group is harder than joining one. The failure rate among new groups is very high - something like 90% fail in the first five years. The hard stuff (imho) is getting along with people.

    I live in a community that has been together almost 49 years, we use a decision making system called 'one no vote' where we only go forward on a new action if no one objects. So everyone is completely taken into consideration, but you do not need unanimity. More details here: http://www.lafayettemorehouse.com/one_no-vote.html
     
  16. ibiza

    ibiza Visitor

    Cooperative or better yet, semi-cooperative living, is the real work, but, make no mistake it is real work, especially here in the most individualistic, materialistic region of our tired, troubled world.
    It's always worth the effort. Even, if you don't succeed in the long run, still the knowledge and life experience gained is priceless. Some of my best memories are from the time I spent 10501921_10152450114668654_8884238852581251808_n.jpg growing and maturing, while living with others, sharing meals, putting logs in the wood-stove, having house meetings and going to barefoot boogie on Friday nights.
    Community living is an essential life experience and worth any effort involved to make it happen.
     
    rusty_apache likes this.

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