Why Is Dating So Hard?

Four things that are most sought after by women:

a) Looks
b) Power
c) Status
d) Money

It's very important to make the distinction between power and status. They are not the same thing, although they can often overlap/be related.

 

perhaps extroversion is not so universally a default condition for humans?

 

do you want to make that distinction?

 

It's like the difference between a guy who acts like he's got money, and a guy who's really got money. In my opinion though you shouldn't put a price tag on love. It doesn't really work out in the end if you do that. Seeking financial sustainability is one thing. Looking for a step up is completely different.

 

status - the relative social, professional, or other standing of someone or something.
"an improvement in the status of women"
synonyms: standing, rank, ranking

power - the ability to do something or act in a particular way

There are two men, both have same economic power, however one has far greater status than the other. Status refers to rank of the person within the social pecking order. Those of rank can get away with those things people with equal raw power usually cannot. For example, let's say a super wealthy drug dealer vs. a commander in chief. While both may posses equal economic power to buy military weapons and raise an army, only one has the legal status and favor of their community to do so.

Status is more subjective than power, as it deals with politics and emotional impression. Also, power can be partly comprised of status, but not always.

A nobel-prize winning scientist often has a lower mating/dating status than a professional football player or musician, even though the scientist may be earning the same or more.

Another example is a sanitation worker vs a clergy worker. While the two may earn the same, the clergy worker, for the religious sector, is considered as a more socially significant profession. For the atheist, it's more likely the opposite. Status will vary depending on the individual's personal set of beliefs..


***A big part of how women determine male value is by weighing his impressionability within her social circle. When selecting a mate, women often measure their potential date with their friend's boyfriends. They want their mates to bring them some sort of status within their peer circles. To move her up the social latter. When a woman looks at you, she's already thinking about how much her friends will be satisfied with you and how you measure up with their boyfriends. This is called external validation. Men usually exercise more internal validation when choosing mates. For the most part, we live in two different worlds. While he may watch shows like He-Man, Olympic Wrestling/MMA, Conan the Barbarian, she'll usually watch soap operas/drama. Male psychology is more focused on the ego and conquest, while females are more focused on their surroundings, interpersonal relations, and social validation. He's the hunter, and she'll try to attract the best hunter.

One of the biggest mistakes men make is trying to measure his own value through a male perspective. She doesn't give a fuck about your desires/dreams/abilities, it's what it can bring for her. There's a great Kanye quote which basically sums this up:

She don't believe in shootin' stars
But she believe in shoes and cars

Basically, she doesn't have dreams, She doesn't car about the road or the beauty in science or art, it's the end goal that's important to her. The material, the physical. How you get those is your problem.

It's no accident that men are driven to get nice cars and expensive shit, even sometimes risking death in the process in the more extreme situations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW8vZEF4UA0

http://www.viralforest.com/bower-bird/

 

Dude you really need to get to know some cooler chicks

 

^ that's actually is pretty hard to do as an adult. the cooler chicks are already married off to the local doctors, etc, and are off talking to their other cooler chick friends about what to do with their babies. so we're stuck with what's left, which is basically the crappy women that the cooler chicks say we should be avoiding.

 

Last page bump.

 

Ohhh there aren't any cool chicks married to doctors believe you me women into doctors are stuck up prissy princess with massive egos.

Cool down to earth chicks I find work behind bars etc. and use a job for an income to live life and have fun. That's a cool down to earth chick to me. not career driven if they're career driven they ain't cool, they're career driven. Totally different personalities and expectations during life.

They expect money, a successful parter that can support and grow their own little dynasty and money plans. Forfeit fun because that costs money. Don't sound too cool for me.

Ya wanna be cool ya gotta be too cool for school.

You find your cool chicks banging their hair out at local rock gigs. And you find cool chicks bent over pool tables. And you find cool chicks pouring drinks behind bars. Also adult entertainment check outs and stuff like that. I dunno.

See office chicks to me, maybe... I define as classy but only on looks, I'd hold them to the regards of the top much effort need a lot of money your car isn't good enough types of women..

 

As Irm said, more or less. office chicks are hard to please. Damned hard. I was married to one.

This is where I learned that it matters what her friends think. They think you're not good enough, Adios! That simple. And I agree in her best places to find them (cool chicks). The question here is, how Loyal to you are they...

 

Well that's the thing about "cool chicks" is they might just want to have a bit of fun in the side, that's what makes them cool and fun. =p

I think the cool chicks will settle down by 35ish but they'll still remain cool and most likely try to find a mate into similar things so that she can continue living her fun outgoing lifestyle without the hang ups of an offside partner who isn't interested in doing the things she enjoys.

And then this is where it gets complicated because I've heard so many times people share nothing in common and no doubt after some times things fizzle out.

So I think if you aren't a cool outgoing person yourself then the chances of landing that cool chick diminishes greatly. If she was that 100% independent women then maybe, but I have a tendency to feel that the independents still want company, they don't want to me along forever but they won't settle on someone that isn't going to spur their life in the direction they need unless they want to all a sudden settle down and blah blah.

Coming from a 100% cool ass chick down to earth I want to surround myself with other fun people. No father figures and Party police for me.

 

^^ I like your thinking, as long as they allow me my freedom also.

My last one didn't. She's right where she belongs, in the rearview mirror just a tiny blip now lol

 

I think Meliai ment it more literally: if a guy like Yggdrazil really thinks he's spot on about women in that post I would also advice him to get to know some cooler chicks. Like.. knowing cooler women, not trying to date, marry or bed them if he knew cooler chicks he would at least have made more nuances. Sure, his descriptions ring a bell here too, but with no more than half of the women i know at best...

 

Culture may not spoon feed those desires to women in your country to the extent that they do to women in the US. Yggrazil's post seems rather devoid of any kind of hippie ideals though, which is somewhat troubling to me.

I certainly know what he's talking about, but I'd like to think there are at least some women with hippie ideals, with their own desires and path and not just obeying what the culture tells them to. The ironic thing is, I myself am starting to feel a bit of a push towards aspiring to more status quo type things.

 

Ashalicious was practically begging you to go to VC to bang all her friends. She's probably do you too, if it she could work out the terms with her husband. I think Karen J was trying to trying to air drop some hot ass your way too.

Your problem isn't cool chicks aren't available, but that you are not willing to road trip for them

 

oh, those chicks are married to bikers.

road-trip-for-sex movies have taught me that you never actually get laid on the road trip; you end up coming home and hooking up with your hot female childhood friend instead.


seriously, i don't think karen j had any desire to get me some ass? i actually was kind of under the impression that she didn't particularly like me.

 

...BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know how she felt about you. I do remember her posting something to the effect of, "too bad you don't live in [I forget what state, I think it was North Carolina] because I have a friend who would [I forget what she said, do you, or something like that]"

 

hmm, maybe a road trip would be worthwhile. i do have a good friend who lives in north carolina that i never get to see anymore. incidentally, she's married to a doctor.

 

Wouldn't it be ironic if she's also the friend that karen j was trying to set you up with?