Why Is Dating So Hard?

A lot of things happened, but I think the best summary of it is that we had a very different "end game". He's a solid guy, but was content to sit back and blame life for all of his problems, with no clear intention to fix any of them himself. Kind of just happy to stagnate. I just can't deal with that. And we were together for a long time, over 7 years. Mostly happy years, but as I got older I think our priorities began to shift. I began to sense resentment building on both of our parts, and I just thought it would be beneficial for both of us, in the long run, to end it before we found ourselves even more unhappy years down the road.

I had a middle aged co-worker whose relationship seemed very similar to mine, and she and her husband fought constantly, had no love life, and were so incredibly bitter about each other. She never had a nice thing to say about him. I did not want that to be my future, and talking to her was my handwriting on the wall. I mean I had been considering it carefully for a while, but seeing her and her husband was like looking into a potential future. It was a weird moment of clarity.

 

you need to state your intentions quicker...

i used to know have a best friend who was a girl and the attraction between us was always obvious
but we became immortalised as friends
nothing happened for years. one day we got pissed and then something did
and now we aren't friends because it was way to awkward

 

It's generally better to bail out of a relationship that's in a nose dive rather than wait for it to crash, once you realize there's no way to pull up on the controls.

Over seven years is a big investment though. I wonder if he could have untreated, or under-treated depression. Do you think if he got his act together, you'd want to give it another go?

 

I think it would be a waste of time to try and really consider those questions. Perhaps I would, but he didn't, so I didn't.