Seemingly Unable To Let Go

Discussion in 'True Love' started by Justinsleeves, Dec 17, 2016.

  1. Justinsleeves

    Justinsleeves Members

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    I dated a girl who I was madly in love with for years. I would have done anything for her. We broke up four and a half years ago, and yet I can't move on. Thinking of being with another woman makes me feel guilty. How unhealthy is this, or is this somewhat normal?
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Piaf

    Piaf Senior Member

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    I'm here just to say I will kick the person who posts that stupid let it gooooo song, or makes reference to it.
    This post doesnt count
     
  3. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    I'd say its normal

    but im not normal so maybe that makes it abnormal
     
  4. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    Just because it can be perceived as a normal thing to not be able to move on doesn't mean its not unhealthy.

    Yes, you are experiencing normal feelings. No it is probably not healthy to keep them for the rest of your life. How unhealthy? Uhm, my estimate is 4 meters...
     
  5. Flagme15

    Flagme15 Members

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    It's normal, and has happened to me every time I have broken up with someone.
     
  6. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    I haven't broken up with anyone in a long time. I'm definitely the wrong person to ask for relationship advice. I think they tie you down, and I'm 36/not in a relationship/not interested in relationships.

    I was thinking about the cost of dinner and a movie I don't remember if it was yesterday or the day before. It's like $50 for dinner if you want it to be less frugal, and another $8.61 a person for movie tickets (let us assume you're not having any popcorn because you had dinner first). I can think of better ways to spend close to $70, honestly.

    Which brings me to a question (despite my being not all that interested in relationships). Is it better to go to a movie and then dinner, or dinner and then a movie? :)
     
  7. Justinsleeves

    Justinsleeves Members

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    Thanks for the input. I appreciate it.
     
  8. undefeated

    undefeated Member

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    well if some girl might be exactly what your looking for--that makes it almost impossible to move on - because then any other girl after can only be less. trust me i understand
     
  9. Captain Allan

    Captain Allan Members

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    Your not alone. Its something many people go through at least once in their lives
    I've met people who can move on almost instantly to others who take years to get over losing a loved one.
    I realised I was finally able to move on today
     
  10. fundoo

    fundoo Members

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    Don't take this as weird, I simply came across your post about losing a friend and I have been there recently (well, happened another time before this too, maaaany years ago). I havecome to terms with it now, but it really messed me up pretty badly and I was really epathizing with your words. Other people assuming it was somethingthat it wasn't. Anyway, I am pleased to hear you have accepted it. Oh! Also, the thing is, I was feeling like I needed to apologize, butactually, at firsti was just confused and upset. Whatit comes down to, I still believe it, wasjustamisunderstanding. Like, I could have donethingsdifferently, and I am now, but atthe same time, in that situation, I feel like I wouldn't have been true to myself ifi acted differently. And maybe, maybe this would have happened anyway, but after even more time and more resulting pain. Everything happens for areason kind of athing!

    Anyway, justsayingthis out loud maybe. And well, maybe it is notnecessary for you right now, but for anyone going down this path, I say don't let itbring you down. Yes, you will be depressed forawhile, but keep giving yourself those positive reminders, because it will get better. It always does!

    -----------------------

    For OP (sorry, quote got up there. Idk :p )
    Oops, order got messed up! Anyway, completely normal. Idk if healthy or unhealthy. If longterm, it is not good, buti do believe these things need time for grievance. And you probably need some kindof closure for yourself to accept that it is really over. Be it the fact thatthey arenttalking to you, or they get happily married or just involved, and/or maybe YOU find someonebetter. You can always hope forthat. If not a perfect match, someone who has some better qualities than your last partner or friend, as I talk about above. Oh yeah, and my first took me ten years to get over, just saying. Closure and time heals though!
     
  11. Grasschild

    Grasschild Members

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  12. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

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    I really wanted To :bigcry:
    To be honest I still Do its Killing me but I have to be strong

    What part of my Anatomy would said kick be delivered to ?
     
  13. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    ?

    Been there. Done that. I was in a relationship with the love of my life for 9 years. We broke up, I "moved on," got married, got divorced--all in the course of a couple of years. Why? Because I hadn't moved on. Still haven't. Not sure I ever will.

    Love and feelings are intense, and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel, how you should react.
     

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