I'm Frustrated.....

I do actually need to get a clothes pin....for when I look after the baby (he is 12 months) for full days and have to change his mucho poopo diapers. I actually feel really bad because I gag, and it makes him cry, and when he cries, my heard breaks. I do wear gloves now, when I change him, and that helps me relax, but a clothes pin/peg would be next level, and would make the diaper changing a breeze.

Oh, and the strong smell of food, I can handle.....that has never bothered me.....

 

Garlic, too? I use alot of it, and whenever I make anything, i use a whole bulb of it and not just a few cloves....I love garlic and I also take strong pills of garlic, and I know, i certainly can clear a room, at times....lol

My pours just throw it out everywhere i go.

 

I eat onions every day in everything (I don't know how you could cook without them ) and when I get really sweaty I can smell onions... so I understand that!

 

Maybe the smell is burnt lube from all the sexy times he is having

 

Maybe on the days the hall doesn't smell, he's not leaving his unit? Or not opening his window and blowing the scent into the hallway. It might explain why it's intermittent.

If he is depressed he's probably not going to be too worried about personal hygiene, no matter what you say to him. Someone that's really depressed doesn't usually care if they live or die so being stinky and unwashed isn't going to be high on his list of concerns. IF he is depressed, you're probably not likely to solve the issue short of getting him help. Antidepressants can have side effects, but sweating and B.O. Isn't one of them.

Hopefully, it is as simple as his diet and he might be so used to it that he's not aware of the offence his odour is causing. Maybe ask him how he is, a depressed person will give negative answers or "not too bad" at best, and if he's okay bring up the issue. If he's not okay, you might have to choose between helping and running away.

 

How could he help you?

Talking to Turkish guys 101?

 

OMG, like, YEAH!

 

I think this issue is going to come to a head soon, and to be honest, I am worried.

My husband is getting exceptionally frustrated with the situation, and has been riling himself up about it. He said to me yesterday "It makes me mad that you put so much effort into keeping this place neat, tidy, and organized, only to have it smell like stinky, dirty man".

It seems that, since I sent that note to the neighbor, he has been literally holed up in his apartment. I think he sleeps all day and then is up all night. I am certain he is severely depressed, and that is why he can't bring himself to take a shower, wash his clothes, clean his apartment, ect.

As a society, we are taught to empathize with people who suffer from severe depression, however there is no "rules" for how we are to approach person who stinks so badly because they can't take a shower as a result of their depression.

So are we just suppose to tolerate this, because he is depressed?

Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with him. It makes me incredibly sad to know that he is suffering from depression, and I wish this wasn't the case. I don't think my husband speaking to him directly about his lack of personal hygiene will help the situation, either.

I don't know what to do.

 

call social services and they can send someone to assess his needs

 

Will Social Services do that???

I thought Social Services was only called upon for situations involving children.....

 

cities usually have some kind of service that helps disabled and elderly ...i cant remember what its called here but there has to be some place like that over there

 

Speak to him directly anyway You or your guy. You sound like you tried everything but this is one of the basic and often most useful approaches. Im sure you can imagine as well a depressed stinky neighbour reacts better to a considerate message in person than to an anonymous note of which he can guess its from you guys Hey i still have at least as much sympathy for you than your depressed neighbour!... which is why i say again try to speak to him in person about it in an understanding way (like you can about him on here). If one of you haven't tried that you really have not tried everything.
Btw: I understand why you avoid this option just fine but see it like this: the place smells like shit, the guy is (most likely) already depressed and you and your bf can garner up some understanding.. why not try. If your bf is eating himself up about this issue (very understandable as well) the understanding, patience and consideration for your depressed stinky neighbour will only grow less.

 

Wait, how old is this guy again? I thought he was a youngish dude

Errr, Asmo, Asmo, Asmo

Very positive sounding post there.

Unfortunately, you try "help" most people and they'll just try take advantage of you


"Depression" Is someone elses classification. Maybe the guy likes to sit around in his filth all day, with a nice big cup of he dont give a ****

 

I would honestly go back to your landlord and raise hell. It is their job to deal with these things specifically, so you don't have issues with your own neighbours. Tell your landlords your concerns about his living condition as well. Say that sort of smell can only mean he is living in squalor. It should get their attention more since they'll be concerned about the condition of the apartment.

 

I agree. It's a possibility as well. That's why I'd advocate adressing the issue in person first to get an impression. No reasonable reaction: make the landlord do his job. Sometimes (often ) communicating in person can make things clearer much sooner.

 

Sometimes it can get you a knife in the chest

 

Give him a nice signed print.

 

Spiffy had the right answer, call social services and explain the situation, you could even lie a little and say he has talked of suicide and you haven't seen/heard him for a couple of days, that will get someone out there.
Police/social worker are much better equipped/trained for something like this.
If you are not sure of his mental state, a direct confrontation may not end well.

if he is mentally stable and just has bad hygiene, maybe suggesting a maid service would be received better?


on a less serious note:
my top three stinkiest encounters have been;
#3 the Indian guy who runs the local small liquor store, between the stench of BO and incense, ya damn near have to hold your breath if you go in.
#2 Vietnamese who live on kimchi and garlic. when they sweat that shit out of their pores, it can clear a movie theater.
#1 the top stinkiest encounter is without doubt when I worked at natural food color/flavor maker. We dealt with many companies that are kosher; Hunt-Wesson for example, and we were subject to bi-annual inspections by a couple of rabbi's.
these guys were your hard core Hassidic Jews, long curls, beads, and everything they wore was wool. I guess it was some religious thing, but they obviously didn't bath for looong stretches of time and would stink the place out like you wouldn't believe. I'm talking a production facility/warehouse of about 12,000 square feet totally engulfed in acrid rabbi stink!!!
We fucking hated those visits, not only did they stink, they were the most arrogant mofo's I have ever met in my life.

there was the crazy lady that used to come in to one of the Sav-On stores I managed that the cosmetic clerk would follow around they store with a can of air freshener spraying it, but what the hell, that nutty lady was the sister of the Queen of England and G.W. Bush seniors old girlfriend and she had the cracker-jack ring to prove it....LOL

 

That, and if he is depressed I don't think a neighbor calling him out on smelling like shit will do anything but make him feel worse about himself. Even if she or her hot hubby does it in a very polite, empathetic way.

Ash I would really look into having someone from social services do a welfare check on him.

 

He has told the neighbor below us that he suffers from depression and has been diagnosed as bi polar.

 

I am so worried that talking to him will do exactly that, and the LAST thing I would ever want to do is make him feel worse...