Is Marriage Just Crap ?

No the problem is people take marriage lightly as well as there relationships. Any marriage or relationship Will give back what you put in. Sad thing is when one person is the only one putting in. Also why people marry for bull crap reasons is beyond me. Ohhh we're having a baby, well that must be a legitimate reason NOT!!!! DON'T DO THAT! and then wonder why you your marriage is falling apart. My logic marry your friend not a reason.

 

Congrats!
Just don't make the mistake of thinking babies get you your man!
Or if your unhappy, you should stay because you have kids!
I've seen people trapped for both reasons, it doesn't make anyone happy!

 

I can't think of any reason to get married until you've been living with somebody for a long time, things are going very well, and you're confident that you're with the right person. For most of us, that won't be the first person we move in with.

There are still some significant legal and financial benefits to getting married, in most places. If that ever changes, there will no longer be any reason for marriage to exist, for those of us who are not religious.

 

It has whatever intent the participants want to give it.

I made a specific commitment to my husband, long before we were married, and it matters very little to me who else knows about it or what anybody else thinks about it. Legal paperwork added nothing, from a personal viewpoint. Our relationship is still exactly what we agreed to make it, back in 2002.

 

I think the reality is that most PEOPLE are crap, and most of the things they do come out crap, marriage being no different. Look at how people drive cars and educate themselves; how do you think they will fare in a lifetime commitment to be the mate of another human being? This is a reflection of the poor care people put into every aspect of their lives.

Lots of people put way more effort and creativity in cheating on their spouses than they do in their marriages.

 

Its only the one with the lesser amount of assets going in that says that. Not that I ever would, not that its legal here anyway, but the real butt****ing would come from the divorce lawyer

Happily ever after is a nice romantic notion, but do you think it actually trumps wanting to start/have a family......with the majority of people everywhere?

 

Exactly. And know that once you ARE married, you will have to keep working on your relationship. The work doesn't go out the window just because you're married.

 

I'm now in a sexless marriage - no intimate foreplay, no kissing or cuddling at all now.

 

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Do you mind if I ask if you and your wife have children?

 

Of course, that doesn't prevent anybody from getting a divorce, or from privately agreeing to have an open marriage or partner swapping arrangement or whatever. People have all kinds of reasons for getting legally married, and they're not required to tell anyone the full truth about it. I try not to make too many assumptions.

Either partner swapping is a lot more common than it used to be, or else I'm just a lot more aware of it now. I've encountered a surprising number of couples in the last two years that expressed an interest. We always turn them down because we already have an arrangement with one other couple, and that's enough for us.

 

"People have all kinds of reasons for getting legally married, and they're not required to tell anyone the full truth about it. I try not to make too many assumptions."

I like this sentence from you, Karen.....People make all kinds of assumptions, and it really is none of anyone's business, unless they are involved directly.....

 

We have 2 adult family members

 

I wouldn't say the reality is that most people are crap. Seems awfully subjective to me The last sentence is literally the reality. But I guess we could add to that that a lot of people also put a lot of effort and creativity in their own marriage and never cheat (I guess it is just what we focus on). Just to make it even more sound.

To me it seems that at least in our modern societies marriage is becoming less important in general. But as it was very important in the (not so distant) past and still is very important for a lot of people now, it causes a lot of people to go through with it because that's what they are still taught by their surroundings. Of course people had sucky marriages in the past as well, and they cheated too. But it seems clear nowadays it is more of a choice then before, yet a lot of people still regard it and are taught as something that was and so just ought to be the normal thing to do. Then later they come to newer insights.

 

I believe trust is a huge issue within a marriage.Whether trust relates to money issues,straying,whatever.Its huge right?You trust your partner will always do the right thing for you/both.You trust that they have your own interests at heart,and consider you and your feelings as well as their own.My first husband ruined our marriage.He changed beyond recognition to the guy I originally married.I stayed the same.Due to that,I had no choice but to leave.I was in the mindset that I was only going to be married once.Unfortunately,that was'nt the case.

 

i know ur suppose to get married in your 20's this way u can be divorced in your 40's and really get married the 2nd or 3rd time around

 

Pffft, no you didnt stay the same. You want to think so, doesnt make it true