Aspects Of Bdsm That Appeal To You The Most, And Why?

For me it's the Control and surrender, and a little bit of the pain thing. All my partners have been disappointing in that sense so I don't think I'll be doing much exploring in that side of life, but I still find it interesting.
Actually I find that it's funny how the original post mentioned Secretary and 50 Shades. I always thought they were nothing like real BDSM.
Not that I would know.

 

They're not.

You need to find the BDSM scene where you live and connect with people. You'll never meet a partner into it if you're not looking for someone already in the scene. You should check out FetLife.com and look for kink events in your area.

 

The aspects of bdsm that appeal to me the most is that I love the fact that I can choose to totally surrender my body and mind to my Master. I love living out my fantasies of submitting to a tough talking, no nonsense Dom. I love "verbal abuse," pain, bruises, hard spankings, worshipping my Master, getting slapped around, wrestling, handcuffs, being tied down/up, etc. Fifty shades of grey to me, is a joke. I'm not crazy about "mainstream" films as it is. They're just not very realistic.

 

I'm unsure if this is BDSM but Ive had just a few Threesomes and Foursomes where they put Leg Spreaders on me and go to town it drives me wild...

 

I have always been submissive but now that my attractions have shifted yet again in my life to older, curious women, I can't help but feel I need to be more assertive and dominant as these women are expecting or more comfortable learning from me and that's uncharted territory for me. I don't command.

 

^^So you're gonna top a bunch of pillow queens?

Anyway, sorry if this upsets some of you, but I'm calling bullshit on a lot of the posts in here.

 

You try at least. That's what's important.

 

True story. I have always favored the S&M part. At 14 I was slapped very hard by a girl when I grabbed her early developed boobs. My ears were ringing until I woke in the morning. That night I masturbated to that girl slapping me and doing even more. It was her that I saw in every fantasy and even now, 52 years later, I still think about her almost daily. Of course the things she did to me in my fantasies got more and more painful and extreme over time as I needed more and more stimulation.

Here is the unbelievable part. I married her best friend. That girl was a frequent overnight guest at our house. One night we did a threesomes and it was so good, as both girls are bi, that my wife asked her to move in with us and we gave her a furnished bedroom of her own. For the next 30 years she was the sadist to my masochist. She really enjoyed hurting men and later on she married a submissive man who she also sexually dominated. She loved to hurt men so much that she would sigh with pleasure and get very wet with each moan of pain. The kept pushing my limits until I was able to take a whipping past when my butt started bleeding. She used knives, lit cigarettes and all sorts of S&M toys on me.

So I know when and why I got into BDSM and the universe looked kindly on me and put me back together with that girl for 30 years. What are the odds? BTW, as an adult she had 38EE breasts.

 

For my wife and me, it's just a fun way to role play fantasies. In our case, she sometimes liked to be tied or "forced" to have sex. There is no pain involved, not even any spanking or slapping her rear. She likes the "helpless" feeling of being tied spread-eagle and used by me.

 

I don't quite know whether it quite qualifies as BDSM, but my girlfriend and I use each others leather shorts to put our cigarettes out when we are "busy" doing other things. Not painful unless she misses my shorts or has forgotten that she has already unbuttoned them. It is also the only time that either of us smoke. LOL.

 

I like being controlled in bed but not out of bed. I'm not into the whole "master" routine or hardcore bdsm stuff but I like the idea of defined roles ...my husband is dominant naturally and I'm not so this works for us naturally. I'm not into watching porn but when I've looked at it with ex bf's, bdsm was the genre I liked. :blush5: