I'm Stuck In Ikea

I'm inside of an ikea right now and literally cannot find my way out, and I'm about to shit my pants from the carls jr I ate this morning. I might have to call 911

 

ours is like a hospital with a yellow line follow it and it will lead you out or to the ER

 

I've managed to make my way to the textiles area. They have arrows on the floor but they seem to be in a continuous loop

 

try using the compass app on your phone. Which ikea, I'll pull of a schematic

 

lines on the floor?...you sure youre not in a hospital ?....or jail?

 

Costa Mesa

 

Look buddy, have you ever been inside an ikea? It's like a gigantic fucking toe story maze. And trying to navigate it while holding in explosive diarrhea? Forget about it!

 

no

never been to one


im not gay

 

Ask an assistant where the bathroom is

 

Just found a cute little night stand here for 7.99

 

I fucking Hate Ikea

 

none of the people here even speak english

 

I'm not a fan either.
But I do like those meatballs

 

Oh yeah and the Hot Dogs ( the hot dogs are Good )
I fucking Still hate Ikea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foi342LXQE&feature=youtu.be

 

Not surprising, the interiors of Ikea stores are designed to disorientate you; densely patterned carpets, department layouts, lack of clocks. Its all there to keep you moving around slowly trying to get your bearing s and noticing more stuff to buy.

 

It is the Scandinavian's way of getting back at you Americans.

 

Could use a bathroom display

 

Re did my mothers backyard a couple years back, everything is ikea, looks like a set out of game of thrones

Everything except the BBQ, you cant get a MANs BBQ at ikea its all these pissy little eco friendly non gas burner BBQs, which would only be useful for the patios of inner city gay guys apartments.

For a MANs BBQ, 12 burners, turbo injected, the size of a small car, I had to go to BBQs Galore, which meant an hour in a store on a saturday afternoon where it seemed they hired a whole bunch of screaming kids for atmospheric effect, aisles 2 metres wide, but still not enough space to squeeze past their main demographic, dads and mums in shorts and thongs straight from shoiting the last episode of The Biggest Loser


Edit: Sorry, by thongs I mean flip flops, what we call them here, not thongs as in ass crack floss

 

Maybe you could build a flat pack door/exit.

 

Just shit your pants like you normally do... Some kind person will show you the door, right quick like.