Seriously Paranoid In Relationship

Discussion in 'Paranoid?' started by babybell, Aug 25, 2015.

  1. littlelegs

    littlelegs Members

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    He's gave me no reason not to trust him and for some reason I just can't I've been through terrible relationships in the past and I think that's why
    How can I stop this causing issues between us ?
     
  2. Pieceofmyheart

    Pieceofmyheart Grumpy old bitch HipForums Supporter

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    Just stop it. If ya know you are doing it and it's unreasonable...then stop.
     
  3. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    I'm natural a jealous person but I realized early on in the dating world that I have to keep all that shit inside and just trust. Trust they wont cheat on you and trust they'll tell you if they do. There is no point being in a relationship if you can't do that.

    its really an issue of control. You have to accept the fact that you have no control over someone else and let go.
     
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  4. Laci

    Laci Members

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    As an adolescent, were you often the center of attention, or left more on your own? Are you used to being the center of attention in the lives of those around you? Do you worry that you may not be pretty enough for him, smart enough, etc etc?

    Growing up, I was not necessarily neglected, but my family wasn't around that often and often times people who I loved, trusted, and cared deeply for left my life in sudden ways. It left me with lasting fears and anxiety of abandonment or being betrayed, and I took that with me into a lot of relationships. In addition, I'm an extremely insecure person and have to really remind myself of why I'm so wonderful- I'm extremely compassionate, I have a heart as big as the sky, I'm the type of person who will give anyone the shirt right off my back if they need it, I'm a wonderful girlfriend, I have an okay-ish body, I have a wonderful personality, I'm a dreamer, etc etc etc. Just take the time every day to remind yourself why you're so awesome.

    The guy isn't my boyfriend, but he might as well be, we plan to begin a relationship in the next few months if things seem to go well. He really enjoys going out to sports bars with his brother and guy friends to go watch sports. He lives in a college town, is an attractive man, and has a wonderful personality. There are times when I worry about what he's doing when I'm not around, but I'm also putting in the effort to tell myself that if I can't trust him, I shouldn't even consider being with him. One huge thing I tell myself is that there may be other girls out there, girls who are pretty or funny or whatever qualilty they may have, but when it comes down to it, I'm the one he's sending good morning texts to, I'm the one he's taking to meet his family and friends, I'm the one he calls every night, I'm the one he wants to talk to when he has a bad day. If he makes time to see you when he can and makes you feel like a special person in his life, then try to trust that he cares.

    You really shouldn't post these issues online though, it's more something that you need to discuss with your boyfriend or husband and try to work out on your own.. I find that bringing extra people's opinions into your relationship doesn't tend to work out well.

    Good luck!
     
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  5. Pieceofmyheart

    Pieceofmyheart Grumpy old bitch HipForums Supporter

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    Present yourself as though you are a prize....and you will be. :daisy:
     
  6. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    Mistakes / Errors of judgements can happen - & - nobody is free from them - however, there is also a degree of penance that should follow - it's called responsibility for their own actions.
    Trust is something that is earned and not expected. - What is a matter of consideration is how this can be achieved.
    Seems to me that rather than jumping back in to a damaged relationship without such there will always be doubt.
    A break of interaction would seem to identify conviction, and re-evaluation either strengthen resolve of confirm that a lack of longevity would be inevitable.
    It's hard when the Head and the Heart are not of the same accord - but sometimes taking a third person perspective allows a focus of decision
    - Whatever you decide ... may your conscience be clear
     

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