Dmt Trip & Existential Philosophy - Religion - The Universe Is

Hello friends, I have come here to attempt to explain some of my philosophy and worldview after an inquisitive year of experimenting with LSD, mushrooms, DMT and other psychedelics. This is basically a very long post containing various topics such as philosophy, general opinion, my trip report in the middle, as well as anything else I felt like throwing in to get my point across. Understand that this is merely one man's experiences and opinions, take it and do whatever you like with it. If you don't like one thing just keep reading because there is some stuff in here I really want to get out, so bare with me. Here we go:

I want to highlight my DMT experience that happened about 2 months ago a little later in this post. I want to start out by saying that I technically believed in heaven up until about 15 or so, which since then I have evolved past that level of thinking. I am now 18 and and from that point until this DMT trip and some reflection, I didn't believe in anytype of life after death whatsoever. I grew up in an area of practically ALL Christians, I grew up my whole life never really BEING a Christian, I never liked the rules because they reduced quality of life. I basically never really thought about my beliefs on a deep intellectual level, understandably so since I was only a kid.

Once I turned 16 I believe there was a sharp increase in awareness and my need for the truth. I began smoking marijuana and it felt like I opened Pandora's box in my mind, I could sit there and basically meditate on things inside of my own head and figure out the world. I became a much smarter, more thoughtful, happier, intellectual, more caring person once I started using marijuana. I quickly began questioning everything and disassociating with religion all together, mainly because I knew that throughout my life I had never seen God or anything described in the Bible. I also understood the historically close relationship of religion and government, and how they can similarly traced back to being created for the sole purpose of controlling the masses. I began to believe that religion was nothing but lies and old traditions or customs, created by a government. Think about going your whole life never hearing about anything spiritual or religious, you're living day to day, quality of life not being nearly as good back then, then hearing by your governments leader that you can go to heaven if you follow the rules, and you see the vast majority of people buying into it. I think I can see how religion got sparked guys, but now what's keeping people hooked? Unawareness, guilt, being scared of a hell and tricked into expecting heaven, complete and utter ignorance, traditions, discrediting psychedelic experiences and natural phenomena to supernatural entities or gods, and that is just the beginning of the list.

Being around Christian people is the reason why I developed a serious case of depression (which I have since worked past and am now living life the way I should be ) that at times really made me want to take my own life, although I never got too close. These people drained me day by day of my joy and spark, I was constantly being judged and put on a lower level than them, just because I was never one to follow the group just for the sake of following the group. Someone who is living to not mistakes, is someone who is not making progress. Someone who disrespects this life by looking forward to the next, even though THIS life is the only thing we KNOW with absolute certainty exists, it is someone who believes in a heaven that is accessible through behavior that even a child can accomplish in a day of completing the checklist of traditions and requirements. It just comes down to mass appeal, it comes down to people choosing the best option for a religion instead of choosing none. We are all not philosophers, and we are faced with many distractions and challenges in life. It is not expected that each individual human will examine the universe and be able to formulate a full expressed belief or worldview of its entirety and their own spirituality, for that takes time and experience and it simply can't be expected of everyone. My point being is that for those of us that see the universe the way it really is, I guess it makes sense why SOME people not as exposed to the truth would fall for religion. It's not something you're meditating on very often if you don't have food on the table for your family every night, or you can't afford your electric bill.(This is demonstrated in Maslow's Hierarchy of needs) In essence, Religion is a story that attempts to explain why things are the way they are, yet all religions are different, if you understand this you will understand that as a whole, religion has defeated itself logically, just by separation and division of its branches, think about it from an outside point of view! It is easier for people to believe in a glorified fairy tale that people know probably isn't true, but WANT it to be.

Life definitely does make you feel like you are a part of a greater purpose, but people mistake this for eternity in the sense of the human mind and a heaven, when really its something more along the lines of your energy will continue to exist throughout the universe in various manifestations, after all it can't be created or destroyed. That is just what we know at the very least, but personally I believe for all of this to happen, for everything to be the way it is, humans think about death so much and it is such a phenomena that I am starting to logically deduce that it would make far less sense for nothing to happen to us when we die, after putting all that thought into it. It actually does seem more probable that a species wouldn't waste so much time thinking about a state of being after life if it never existed to begin with, you see what I mean? In other words, if every human in existence thinks about death countless times during their lives, it seems quite unlikely that there would be nothing waiting for us on the other side. Because we WANT to exist, we have that natural urge to not want to die, for this to be in our DNA I am starting to believe its very unlikely for us to not be on to something when we think about the other side. I personally want to exist throughout the universe when I leave my body, whether it be floating through the cosmos, existing in forms of energy like waves in the ocean, or an actual state of consciousness and experience. Whatever it may be, I am starting to believe that there is or at least definitely may be a mechanism or a plan for what happens when we die, a portal or passing of one's state of life into that of the next.

Heres why: About 2 months ago in the midst of an LSD binge I had been in for about 6 months, I managed to find a connect for some DMT. I am quite comfortable with psychedelics and my state of mind while on them, often times actually reaching a higher and better state of being than possible without, isn't that crazy? (I never thought I could say that a substance or chemical such as LSD was a key ingredient in some of the most beautiful, profound, memorable, most shaping experiences of my life, but I'd be lying if I said otherwise, and I have lived a busy life experiencing MANY of the things life has to offer.) That being said, one night I decided I was ready to do the DMT and decided that I would take it at some point into my LSD trip. I was having a great trip and handling it very well, and was finally ready to do DMT, the drug that is responsible for our dreams as well as near death experiences. From what I understood I had more than enough for a breakthrough dose so I got what I thought to be enough for one breakthrough dose. I took a few deep breaths and began the process to vaporoize and inhale the DMT. I took 3 huge hits, and what happened next was maybe the most unique experience of my entire life. (its tough to compare to my LSD trips, they are all up there.) A rush of energy and excitement rushed to my head right away, giving me an INSANE head feeling that got lighter and lighter, and then all at one moment it felt like a pulse of light or energy, like a star exploding, went off in the very center of my body, my chest. This is where it gets hard to explain, this sensation dissipated the feeling of my body. In other words, me and myself as I knew it for every moment of the 18 years before this one, had just left, some part of me was scattered across the universe not to be felt at this instance, for at this instance I was weightless and it felt as if I existed in another dimension and I was sent to this one to observe what was going on, this brought on a crazy feeling that I can best describe as feeling like a child. Since I didn't "breakthrough" to hyperspace, I had my eyes open during this trip. I believe it had something to do with the LSD, because anyone who knows that stuff knows you're not sleeping, or in this case dreaming, on it. So tripping on DMT with LSD stimulating more of my senses, I was looking at things in my backyard in an entirely new light (the child sensation I mentioned), feeling feelings that I had previously been unaware of their existence, and all of these were not that of euphoria. I did briefly think that I may have killed myself right after I took in the hit, I remember the thought shooting across my brain "what did I just do" as this absolute alein feeling overtook my body as I marveled the idea I just took the same drug that is going to release in larger amounts when I die. This is when I began sensing what I perceived at the time to be spirits, I previously hadn't had ANY experience that has even made me even entertain the idea of a spirit existing or communicating in the physical realm. But this was just a feeling, there was no other way my mind could interpret this, it made me quite uneasy for a couple of minutes. At first I thought I had made a mistake or something, and had summoned these beings at the moment I vaporized the DMT, but it wasn't until after the trip when I realized that I didn't summon them, I just gave myself the tools to sense them. I have to say them because guys, believe me when I say I felt a presence on DMT, and you know whats crazy? I think that it was myself. Because whether I sensed a spirit good or bad, each different one felt so eerily familiar and closely intertwined with that of my own spirit. I could feel my aura floating around me in the DMT vapor I exhaled, but I wasn't confined to the barriers of my brain, I felt that I had manifested or accessed a different state of being in where I was able to see myself, the universe, through more of the universe's collective conscious perspective rather than that of my own. This was yet another time on psychedelics where I could FEEL the oneness, not just see it. This is my attempt at describing what happened that night, although I am not certain. It has opened the doors of my mind to many possibilities of the afterlife. But one thing is for sure, I KNOW where that DMT was taking me, I know where it wanted to take me. It wanted to scatter me throughout the universe, but couldn't because it wasn't actually my time obviously. After these intense revelations during the trip that lasted about 10-20 minutes, I was assimilated back into my body, it felt like I descended down as many different particles and converged back into my body. Then I was left with a state of absolute beauty and afterglow. The trees and everything else in my backyard literally turned into the most intricate, complex, unique artwork before my eyes, some of the most beautiful visuals I've ever seen through all my psychedelic trips and just my life in general. The trees had resemblances to that of the human face, and each tree had many different ones, it was absolutely magical, and all I could think of is how beautiful all of this is around me, everything. I could see those facial features in just the most beautiful fashion, it really caught me off guard. I believe I got very emotional and began crying at the sheer beauty of what I was seeing in my backyard, that had never before been seen in the way at all. I wouldn't describe this like other visuals like you may get on LSD, it wasn't a visual because it was just there, nothing you could do to change it. It was absolutely stunning and an incredible sense of well being overtook me in this state, communications from the universe reminding me that I am alive, and it is good to be alive. All around me my visuals turned into arts that depicted the beauty and resemblances of nature that ultimately showed me layers of the fabrics of the universe that I simply had not accessed before. This was not seeing a "cool" visual this was seeing something new deep within the framework of the universe that I can never un-see, the geometric properties and symmetries of our faces intertwined with the same life form that is producing oxygen to ensure our next breath is not our last. I have never experienced such a oneness with nature as I did that night, it was a real symbiotic connection I felt in the airwaves, I had realized just exactly what all had to happen for me to be alive at that moment, and it was life-changing. That was such a beautiful experience that night and I still think of it and try to make out what happened. I never thought I would have an intense open eye DMT experience but I was wrong.

We are a manifestation of the universe's consciousness, the result of the universe WANTING to experience itself. Think about this on a smaller scale of earth, what would earth be without life? What would experience the earth and all it has to offer like the way that we are now? Nothing, that's because we are the universe, we're all one. You and all other forms of life are alive because if you weren't then what would be? The universe was not content with just the energy of its stars, the vastness of space, and the well, lifelessness, that is why it made itself develop consciousness. Consciousness and ego is what is creating the separation you may feel (taking psychedelics literally removes this barrier for you) but this is in fact written in the fabrics of the wiring of the human brain, without this there would be many less perspectives for the universe to see itself through, less options in essence, less variety, less beauty; and why would it want that when its goal in arising human existence was purely to experience itself? If you don't see the oneness, maybe LSD or Mushrooms are your next step. Incredible tools the universe has bestowed upon us to gain higher consciousness and awareness, it's quite brilliant, if you've heard the story of how LSD was discovered you might realize its a great example of how the universe makes things come about that it desires. Without the freak accident that was the discovery of LSD this world would be a much different place. Hell, one things for sure is you wouldn't be reading this post if it weren't for it, I would probably be wasting my time and living a life that I wasn't proud of, that's how I was before maturing, listening, doing psychedelic drugs, and the intense desire to learn the truth so I can help people and make the world a better place.
It is no coincidence that these psychedelic substances are so potent, meaningful, and absolutely beautiful, the universe made them so just as the trees provide us with oxygen. It' all one working system, looking at subatomic particles zooming out to the farthest depths of infinity. As Allan Watts once said, "once you realize it is you that is circulating your blood, you will at that same moment realize that you are shining the sun".

The oneness is SO easy to see on psychedelics, that is why I am absolutely SICKENED, mind blown and just disgusted at all the false and malicious information spread by the mainstream media and the government about these beautiful evolutionary substances. You are wrong if you tell me LSD, mushrooms, marijuana, and DMT are bad, because I have EXPERIENCED otherwise, I am walking, living, conscious evidence of this, so how do you explain your lie? I understand these are potent drugs that alter our state of consciousness and that is too much to handle for some people, maybe even most people, but is it not enough that you scare people away from these substances by misinforming them with lies that you have to put them inside of a cage for extended periods of time if they don't follow the advice that is wrong in the first place? Something has gone terribly wrong in America, the war on drugs is one thing holding us back, because it goes hand in hand with the end of religion. LSD pulled me out of a deep and dark depression my senior year of high school, it showed me the fabrics of the universe, how beautiful it is, how life is just a gift, without it what would you be? I didn't appreciate life half as much as I did before I started on psychedelics, and that is only the start of a huge chain effect its personal had on me to make me a BETTER person, not by religious standards, by the UNIVERSE'S standards. You didn't do anything to bring about your own existence, neither did your parents, neither did theirs, or theirs, you were formed so we can assume the first human didn't bring about their own existence either. So humanity existing we can't contribute to anyone or any one thing, so that is why so many make the mistake and contribute it to a god. I just contribute it to the growth, development and evolution of the universe and more specifically earth allowing for life to arise and experience the multi dimensional reality we live in every day, for nothing else can be scientifically or logically proven. Using this line of logic it is very easy to appreciate life, realizing you did nothing to bring yourself into existence, and for YOU to be in existence at this moment in time, the ENTIRE UNIVERSE HAD TO UNFOLD THE EXACT WAY IT DID AND IS CONTINUING TO. Think about that, and once you understand that then congratulations you now understand that you are a manifestation of the universe's consciousness, moving in one continuous motion with everything else.

So what does it mean to be? Life is love, it is our job to love one another and make the universe a more serene place, ultimately working and evolving towards peace and tranquility. The pursuit of knowledge, never stop learning, never stop looking for the truth because you don't lose with truth on your side. Life is expression, express yourself in whatever ways you want, you will feel better if you express yourself, rather than what somebody else expresses. As I said before that is the base reason the universe brought about you into existence in the first place, expression. That is all I can say, the rest is up to you and the way you want to live your life, hopefully to advance humanity on all fronts, I know that is what I want, a better place. Thank you for your attention in reading my thoughts, for thoughts is all they are. I hope I made some people think and hopefully see things my way a little bit. I'll end this post with this: We are all different, we have to be for things to work the way they do, and if you see that process you will then realize that... The universe is evolving literally, you now understand that you are the universe, you now understand that YOU are evolving, you can then now realize that the universe has intelligently incorporated you as a small working part in its continuous process and grand scheme of taking what we know as the present, and molding it into the future we (the universe) dream of.

PS. No I didn't snort Adderall before I wrote this, I just woke up this Saturday morning, put on Beethoven's 6th and 7th symphonies and wanted to reach out to my friends in whom I love over in the psychedelic community, and hopefully to provoke some good healthy existential thinking. You people are the smart ones and you will be the ones responsible for some of the biggest advance we see in the upcoming years. Trust me, for I am one of you and you are one of me.
Peace and Love

 

This is incredibly impressive. It is extremely aligned with my own philosophy, which I have labeled Archephenomenalism. I arrived at my own without the benefit of DMT, and I was a teenager the last time I took any acid--but the parallels are amazing----which tells me that this is the universe, as you implied, unfolding in its own purpose. In my own philosophy, I place the individual as the primary point of physical reality--and we are multi-dimensional---though our ego, which, according to Carl Jung, acts as a filter to maintain a consistent personality, prevents us from understanding anything beyond the physical realm. The reality we think exists, exists solely through the phenomena we perceive, and physical reality itself is nothing more than an infinitessimal moment of Now---the physical manifestation of particles from a series of simultaneous probability wave collapses clear across the universe in what is otherwise nothing more than waves of energy stretching clear across space-time. I would say the living consciousness of the universe itself--what man labels as god--is of a yet higher dimension of consciousness. But I beleive our purpose for living, much like you, is to experience. And for that our individual self is very significant. I personally do not think that our goal for life is to return to the cosmos---or that cosmic mind---as Eastern Religion concludes. I also feel that while we and the universe are all one, and that we as individuals create our own realities (or if we don't, we let the universe and others create it for us---this is the implications of existential freedom), that the experience of becoming one with the universe is more an experience of ourselves on a higher dimension---for the higher dimensions stretch out in infinite directions that we cannot physically perceive, limited as we are to our own three dimensions.

I arrived at this, not by DMT, but by applying the theories of Einstein and quantum mechanics to philosophy--but then again, it was also an attempt to explain various unexplainable events I had experienced in Japan, the Philippines, and here in the US with Native Americans. Perhaps if I had done DMT it would not have taken me over 50 years to arrive at these conclusions. The fact that DMT can produce such similar visions of reality tells me I am on the right track--at least for me.

But enough of my philosophy. You are certainly well on your own path of finding your own meaning of life. Your writing is very good, and if you are as young as you say you are, it is amazing------I would urge you to go to college and major in philosophy. It sounds like you are living in a very Christian community---and yet you are standing out from the crowd---seeking to be an authentic individual. But You should certainly want to choose a university outside of such bastions of conservatism.

Then again, if you don't go----then keep exploring, writing, and spreading the word anyway.

We are now living in the age of nihilism----there is no true meaning, no true values, all of truth is relative. Stephen Hawking wrote several years ago that philosophy is dead. If it is not dead, it is certainly in a crisis and dying. If there is no one to revive it, if life continues on this decadent path of meaninglessness, our culture will die as we similarly destroy the earth and all living things upon it. Stephen Hawking thinks that it is science that will rise to the task--but scientists are too focused on physical reality and what we perceive as the cold, dead, physical universe. They are the priests of objective reality---the world of objects. And like Christians, they are too dogmatic and reductionist in their own beliefs and world view. Philosophy needs to be revived, and to provide the meaning that only it can provide. What we need is a return to subjective reality--the individual. We need------as the message that a Dakota Medicine Man, and close friend, always brings from spirit world-----to focus on life.

 

Nice post and much rings true for such a young person in this turn of the spiral....
and yet, sadly the OP has not deemed us worthy of more than one post.....
If they were still around and active I would say while I agree with much of their concepts, don't discount Christianity so easily.
Most follow Christianity in a purely rhetorical and clinical form, devoid of the mystical and phenomenal which was what the first "church" was founded upon.
the life altering change as evidenced in the dramatic changes in personalities, motives and intentions as recorded in the book of Acts after the initial outpouring of the Holy Spirit is what is true.
I have fairly extensive experience with altered states, natural and spontaneous as well as drug induced, but I will say the experience often called the "baptism of the Holy Spirit" still stands as probably the most life, perspective/paradigm altering event of my life, even more so than my first journey with LSD at ~500+ugs of the magic elixir, same goes for journeys through personal hell with the mushroom man, and journeys around the globe with Mescalito.
all have gone to enhance my awareness of this reality, yet there is a core "knowledge" that stems from my laying it all up for sacrifice and declaring "SHOW ME THE TRUE POWER!".
Far too many confirmations to share here, almost 40 years in the making (maybe coming to an end of my wilderness wandering if numerology means shit) nor do I care too, but suffice it too say that for this epoch in time and this turn of the great spiraling cycle, don't discount the reality of the Christian experience, the true life/paradigm altering "born again" experience/life, not the bullshit, Sunday morning saint, Monday morning sinner type of hypocritical Christianity that seems to permeate the world, fuck those morons, strive for the truth and if your intention is clear and true, it will be revealed.
May be under a different umbrella not called "Christian" but the truth is the truth, no matter what color it is presented in.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
those who "know" him hear his voice.