Fear Of Floating Off Into Fragmentation And Loosing It

Look under Sea of Fractals in the How to be a Human Handbook. What I am trying to say is, take comfort in the fact that we all have our seas of fractals that are driving us slowly insane. You'll be all right...or not...

 

Can't be both. All right does not mean or not.. It is your sentiment that confuses. Fractals are prisms.The world is made of vibration not material angles. The geometry modulates the vibration.

 

Nah he knows what I meant. No one is confused. No one is ever confused.

 

I showed you your confusion. and you didn't display meaning. The facts are confused not the people.

 

It is not true that there is no meaning out there

Out there is for us to use for purpose

Out there is not in here

Out there, which includes your physical body is measured in height width and depth

Not lovely ness

NAture is tastefully arranged

It never looks dirty in proportion.

dirt all over in the midst of majesty.

 

No you showed us both your own confusion. I was the innocent bystander. You were the man with the cardboard sign raving incoherently. Your words had so much meaning; they sought not to miss the point. But they missed the mark utterly, revealing your own state of delirium to everyone here who reads this. We all know now. These are the facts. They aren't confused and neither are the people.

OUT THERE does not exist. There is only OF HERE.

 

What does your here organism consist of.?

Fact is the reason the board looks the way it does right now is that people do know what I am saying and all you do is call me names, I have know you in the past to be able to get that straight. Now it seems you would choose your tantrum over understanding what I said.

 

What is not is not

what is so is so

It is not is not so

 

For some odd reason pot makes me far more paranoid than psychedelics. Probably because I overdid it with the herb when I was younger. You may be right because if I overdo the LSD it might never be the same for me again.

I still smoke a few times a week but almost always alone before bed or with a close friend.

One dose of acid (or a couple grams of shrooms) however and my social anxiety is gone and I feel more "with it" and able to connect with the people around me than when I'm sober. It acts as a perfect antidepressant/anti anxiety at low doses. I have Aspergers like symptoms and low/moderate dose psychedelics seem to make me feel more normal than any other substance. I can even talk to my parents on a low dose and they tell me how great I seem to be doing...

Of course once I take it up to 2 tabs I'm tripping but tend to have very healing experiences at this level whether its LSD or shrooms its a very healing experience with little to no anxiety and the positive effects stay with me for days like a nice afterglow.

The only time psychs give me anxiety is when I smoke while tripping or take more than a moderate dose.

The only reason I desire to take high doses of psychs again is A. Curiosity...I want to experience some of the crazy things I've heard about from people like Terrence Mckenna and B. I want to flirt with "life changing spiritual experiences" as a sort of vision quest to help me break free of my delusions and false presumptions and experience real transcendence to help me find direction and sort of give my ego a death and rebirth.

I'm on the fence however and I do have more research to do on ego-death/high doses of psychedelics before I attempt such a thing again. I do have an antipsychotic I was prescribed years ago for depression (didn't work and made me feel robotic) as well as xanax in case things get out of hand.

I will have to do my research and follow my intuition because I have had a few very healing experiences on psychedelics but I don't want to risk going on a trip I never recover from which could ruin the healing effect of lower doses which would be a real loss.

My plan, if I do take a high dose again, is to do it in silent darkness the way Terrence Mckenna reccomends with shrooms then let go and let it take me where it may but like I said I'm really on the fence about this. Certainly having an experienced psychonaught with me would be wise or at least let someone know what I'm doing and have some chill music and xanax ready in case things get out of hand.

What I'm trying to understand is what benefits people take away from such high doses that they can't even remember what they have experienced. Perhaps it serves as a reboot for some people to set them on a better path toward enlightenment?

 

If you have your heart set on it, just be careful. It seems like there's a real possibility for things to go bad whenever you increase dosage. Also, half the time you don't know what you're getting!

 

I know what I am giving always

How do you break a mind already broken,

Please do not tell our friend he is sick

Or you will be afraid for your own safety and kill him

and he will not be able to hear the voice of his love

 

Good point. With all these research chemicals you can never know for sure if its even LSD unless you test it. (Although you can say LSD is a research chemical but its been around for many decades and has a relatively high safety margin.)

This is something everyone should be aware of because a lot of the "acid" going around these days is made from relatively new compounds which have lead to some deaths.

If I dose high again I won't take it all at once so at least I get a feel for how its effecting me. When I took the 4 tabs I started with 2 then took 2 more a little less than 2 hours later.

Happy and safe journeys everyone!

 

Doesn't sound too happy if you have to avoid danger.

I would have you happy and safe

 

My here organism is a timeless chasm of spacetime, a place where the earth is cracked and the clouds fly swiftly across the skies of a gray sunset for eternity.

How does the board look right now? I mean, I know how it looks, but I didn't know you were the reason behind all of the masturbation and fetish threads. What names have I called you? I never call anyone names. I am always calm and enlightened.

I don't appreciate you referring to my deepest innermost thoughts as some kind of tantrum. I think myself and others have this complaint about you, that you are very insensitive. How dare you try to reduce me to an infant? I am a patient man with a well-reasoned constitution. My patience with you, the dope, is wearing thin.

 

Well the ego is "reborn" or comes back when returning to normal consciousness, perhaps even at some point during the trip, so it's not like you necessarily will have to completely lose everything about yourself that you had developed prior to the experience. I do not find ego loss experiences via psychedelics necessarily make one lean towards a nihilistic type of outlook after the trip either, this view seems to be a presupposition on your part. I think such experiences can potentially help you understand processes in which your sense of identity is formed however.

If you completely have no memory of the experience, I'd probably consider that a blackout rather than ego loss, I have seen reports which resemble more of a fugue type state where people dissociate from themselves while tripping in a rather hysterical sense but this seems quite rare. However even with ego loss, if there is some sort of awareness that you can recollect, the frame of reference during ego death experiences tends to be quite ineffable, so it can be difficult in really knowing 'what to do' with the experience upon returning to normal consciousness, I'd say that usually integration takes some form of a deeper understanding of awareness itself or particular workings of the cosmos.

 

It is your biological body. The organism is a body. An organization is an arrangement of mind.

Is here timeless?

 

How is the ego reborn

we change our mind

there is no ego death

ego death is the experience of having our thought patterns perturbed.

There is no death to abstraction.

 

You are still thinking in terms of "out there". There is no in here as opposed to out there. The organism can't be defined as simply the body; there is no discerning the body from the space it occupies.

Here is timeless, yes.

 

What time is it?