Fear Of Floating Off Into Fragmentation And Loosing It

During the past couple months I had some great experiences with lsd. I felt so "with it," at peace with myself and those around me and aware.

When I took 4 something scary started happening thats hard to describe or understand.

The sky was turning to fractals then one universe split off and I was very afraid that IF I DIDN"T REMEMBER WHAT HAD OCCURED I would be lost in confusion

AND I was afraid I was going to drift off into a fractalated Universe and loose my mind to fragmentation.

I still feel a little confused.

My ego was beginning to wane and people say this leads to either insanity or enlightenment.

How does one know when/if they are ready to experience ego loss and if one gets lost in a rapidly dividing multiverse is there any coming back?

LSD is ironically one of the only things that made me feel whole, healed and ok but at higher doses it got intense.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is what to do if you find yourself lost in a sea of fractals, any of which threaten to fragment the psyche into a mess if things get out of hand.

How does one know if they are one is ready for a full blown ego death and what is the risk if one is not ready?

Also what does one do when that panic sets it...the panic of drifting off into insanity rather than enlightenment?

 

I've never quite lost myself like you have described. I have taken huge doses of lots of different psychedeics, acid included, hoping to have an ego shattering experience and it never happened. The world melts into a sea of fractals, people around me no longer matter, but I'm always still just me and I know it and am ok with that. I've been thinking of trying dmt to get that effect.

My friends normally leave a few episodes of a TV show loaded and ready to go on a laptop nearby though, for if they get panicked. Putting something like that on and trying to concentrate on it seems to help most of them.

 

Moderation, timing and preperation are all key. But I have only tripped on shrooms.

Keeping in mind that this is happening because you are tripping on a psychedelic and that it will pass, it is a temporary thing caused by something you ingested earlier. It's not perminent or your future state of being Although this might overall be a better tip when on shrooms as an lsd trip can last several hours longer

 

I will say that I've seen the results a few times of those that did not return to normalcy in a good way. The idea of having someone with the experience of taking psychedelics--a guide--is always a very good idea, even if one has taken it before. A full-blown ego death is not a good idea. Then you have nothing. The idea,IMO, is to see that things are not as they seem and thereafter--how to deal with what's left in a way that will enhance your(anyones) life, relative to what has been observed. We get so much of the "regular societal" conditioning throughout our
formative years, that it CAN be a mind blower just to realize that we can and should reduce our ego-driven behavior. ( Annnd---there is fun to be had--another story.)

 

To add: I was 28 when first I ingested a dose of windowpane, for what it's worth. I suppose I have no idea how younger people may react to taking
LSD, but I DO think there may be a difference. I know it sure was the beginning of a new way of doing and thinking for me, all to the good.

 

I would repeat the advice to have an experienced sitter around even if you've had acid previously. Just talking to someone can help a lot if you get into a tough spot.


Ask yourself why you want to take lsd. If the answer is some varient of 'to go beyond the normal level of consciousness' then why complain when it takes you out of your comfort zone? The psyche is a lot more resilient than people give credit. It's surprising how far out one can go and still return not only to normal, but even to a new and better normal.

 

This is one of the reasons why I think I prefer and often recommend higher doses when exploring psychedelics initially, at least ones that have an established safety profile like LSD. In that way, you're too naive to really let these types of doubts and concerns creep in, although most definitely have a sitter around if it's your first time with psychedelics when taking them with this method.

I tend to relate to this fragmentation of the psyche that you mention, it's very very powerful on LSD for me. Reading some other's experiences here, I get the impression that not everyone has this type of fragmentation but I recommend just try and go with it. Get a drink of water, lay down, change the music, grab a blanket or adjacent 'safe' item and let it come over you.

Speaking more on this fragmentation though, while I think this is generally good advice below, it is much easier said then done...

When on the trip trying to grasp a thought like "I did this to go beyond the normal level of consciousness" can be fragmented and displaced into a multitude of synonyms, antonyms, metaphors, juxtapositions, tangents, interruptions, distortions and hallucinations.

 

I think if you're afraid of something you're doing, don't do it. Even if it is apart of the trip you fear and not the drug itself. If I didn't like an effect something had on me, I'd simply not do it. :unsure:

 

And I think if you're fishing around for answers and justifications then you might be worse off than initially thought.

 

I wasn't proposing that one should entertain such thoughts whilst under the effect of acid. Just a general point I was making. But I don't recall a time when I took it and forgot I'd taken it - maybe the very first time. A strategy commonly used by sitters though can be to reassure the person that whatever they are experiencing is due to the effect of the drug, and that it will soon calm down.

If you don't realize you are in a different consciousness after taking lsd, there must be some major problem going on.

People have used lsd to get beyond their fears. If one has fear and never comes to terms with it or resolves the issues causing the fear, you'll always remain afraid. And that can end up controlling your life.

The trouble is that people take psychedelics without adequate preparation or guidance. They assume it's going to be a party - but that's simply not the nature of this particular beast.

It's definitely worth overcoming fears that lurk in the unconscious. It frees you up immensely. And very few of us make it to adulthood without accruing some trauma along the way. Psychedelics have a unique healing role.

 

If I took it, I'd see big scary monsters I know it. =[

 

sounds like ego death or very close. when you are on the brink of this experience you usually get this feeling of "oh shit, something is about to happen I better sit the fuck down!" .. and then your gone. there usually isnt much time to prepare either and can be pretty frightening if your not expecting it.

 

Is fear a fact of the world? Fear is a statement of your condition.

 

I think something that makes psychedelics unique among drugs is their variability or what's often framed as 'unpredictability' in mental affects. This is something that seems difficult for many of us to really realize, even those of us who have taken the LSD trip.

To suggest something like "If you don't realize you're in a different consciousness while taking LSD, there must be a major problem going on " sounds pretty close to the in group version of scaremongering, which is odd coming from you, although maybe I misconstrued how you meant it..Perhaps it's pretty difficult to see the potential for how other minds react to such chems, when we have only our own trips to draw upon. But LSD is well known for causing drastic changes in perceptions of the senses, times, thoughts, sight, etc. combine that with a delayed onset compared to like Pot or alcohol, varying intensity within the trip itself, a minute dosage and varying set/setting there can be some variable reactions.

 

Yeah I don't think there was any major problem going on, just fear of losing control due to being higher than ever before. I think things just got so intense that I became afraid of loosing my mind. Everything was shifting and morphing and the sky was splitting into multiple Universes. At least that's the way my mind interpreted it but I remembered I was tripping the whole time.

I felt as if I needed to keep myself from getting sucked into one of these fractals or I would never be the same again but this fear was most likely due to trying to make logical sense of something beyond logic and trying to control it.

I think if I let go and stopped trying to make sense of it like there was something important I was supposed to remember from it and if I just went along with it the fear would have probably turned to joy like another occasion when a storm passed by while I was tripping in the woods just on a short walk. At first I started to panic and the fear got intense but when I surrendered to the storm and accepted it I became ecstatic and felt more alive than ever before.

But having someone with me might not be a bad idea as well.

As far as ego death goes I just don't know...we need an ego to get by in this world and it can be pretty intense just to put the ego in its place and see things for what they really are. With a complete loss of ego what do we have to work with when the trip is over? And if we get so far out that we forget what happens then how can we take away anything meaningful from the experience if we have no memory of it?

 

I don't think, there is indicates you don't believe in reality.

I don't think as a preface gets it's results

 

What to say what to say. I think you probably just took too much of the stuff.

 

I do think you may be reading too much into my post haha. Or did I just imply that I believe you exist?

But it was awesome until I started trying to make sense of it and control it. Perhaps I just wasn't prepared enough. I want to do this again but I am waiting for the right time and I may be waiting quite a while but now I feel I understand the level or preparation that must go into taking such a high dose.

One thing I didn't take into account was the fact that there was the possibility of neighbors coming over to use our pool and that was really fucking with my head (do I stay inside?...should I go into the woods?...what if it rains?) These things should have been figured out before dosing but instead these thoughts were going through my head as I was peaking which really fucked things up.

I think clearer plans are necessary before taking such a high dose but perhaps you are right. Only time will tell

 

Thanks. I like to think I'm right. But take less! Less is probably safer and you'll still probably trip out. You're right to plan ahead, and waiting for the right time is important too. If it were me I wouldn't be taking the stuff. I don't trip anymore. Just pot, and then I don't even smoke so it's edibles for me.

 

Perhaps you don't read enough. Your statements are a progression based on an axiom you think is correct. "If you axiom is not correct neither are your statements.

Axiomatic logic begins with a statements that shows itself to be self evident. Then you continue to make correct statements and they add up correctly.

We blind ourselves with confused rhetoric and insidiously decide what we will see, having seen nothing of substance.