Guys have had their penis de-gloved, doing this with industrial vacs (although not much else to do when you're an all-night office cleaner). Try taking the cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels. Push a square of bubble plastic into the lumen of the tube leaving a couple of inches outside for folding back outside the tube and taping down. Lubricate the bubble plastic. Insert a SHOP VAC hose at the distal end, insert your penis at the proximal end and use your hand to control the strength of the suction. DO NOT let the actual plastic hose of the vac itself, touch the penis. If your penis is too big for a paper towel tube, I guess you'll have to go to the hobby store and get a cardboard mailing tube. It's this kind of ingenuity which makes America great. DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this post constitutes medical advice FURTHER DISCLAIMER: Jeff Sessions (aka the Hobbit) would not approve this method
my sphincter puckered when you said that - please don't hurt yourself. Better to put an active speaker against your clit and turn up the bass KILROY: He doesn't mean speaker as in 'Speaker of the House' [though that might work too, cum to think of it]