I'm really having a hard time understanding your thought process here. Why, in your mind, does someone who is grateful for their experiences think they are superior to others? I don't understand that logic. And again,I don't care what OTHER people think if I forgive or don't forgive.. This is about ME. Now that I am reading this closer it is actually helping me understand VG's comments, but I'm still going to leave my question up there, just to make sure. I guess what you are saying is comparable to when you are debating with someone and they discredit your opinion because they feel you are ''misinformed'' when you don't have the same opinion as them. I guess I just don't see it like that. Whatever intention or reason behind someone mistreating you or complicating your life in any way shouldn't affect your ability to forgive/be grateful in any way. The reason behind harm done to you, doesn't matter. Just like we don't look for someone to blame in the face of an earthquake or bad weather (though some people would look to blame God)... it just is. I'm really starting to regret using the word "love" here.
"No one is better than anyone else" Right. Not to sound cocky or anything, but I'm pretty sure I'm a better person than Charles Manson. Just saying.
It's not a competition, but I think it can sometimes be good to compare oneself with others. For instance if someone has a high ethical standard it might be good to try to be like that - no doubt there are other examples where one person can be a role model for others.
I don't know if I'm better or worse than I used to be. If someone harms me it usually means they're pretty miserable and they're just spreading it around. Forgiveness is good, but it's better not to judge in the first place.
Oh yeah, i would be grateful to the person who shoots me with a gun as they have played an important role in making me suffer....Not. Loving yourself has nothing to do with be grateful to those who harmed you. Shall a woman be grateful to the man that rape her, or harmed her child? Does that have anything to do with self love? Again, what does this have to do with self love? There may be traits about myself that i despise but that doesn't mean i love myself any less. Its the same in any relationship. Couples may find characteristics in each other that they dislike but that doesn't mean they don't love each other.
Really??? How so? Just because a person doesn't love themselves doesn't mean they are incapable of loving someone else. I am.
glad attention, Hello. I'm new to the forums, and my primary interest at this point is Existentialism. I've been part of a long discussion at another forum on the topic of forgiveness. We've been trying to figure out what forgiveness "is." What is means to forgive. Your whole 2015 post here is very interesting to me. This is enlightening , a way of seeing forgiveness that makes sense. In psychological terms, "the willingness to see the world differently," this is called "re-framing," At least that's how it strikes me. " So first forgiveness is simply the willingness to see the world differently, To forgive it all the things you thought it was. "Love is fundamentally what you are and is beyond what can be taught to you, but we can remove the barriers we have erected to the perception of it which are simply our own verdicts against it."
This is one of the coolest, most refreshing things I've read in a while. I think it's easy to spend time only looking at people who we respect or have inspired us with gratitude, but we tend to wish away those who have harmed us in some way. Old thread, but a timeless one.
I hear you, but maybe what is meant by the OP was that everything is connected...whatever bad has happened to us, brings us to who we are now, good/bad/indifferent. in the suffering, there can be strength. Of course, I wish there was no suffering, but maybe gratitude in that we made our way through the suffering.
Oh wow, that was a while back. Maybe that's what the op meant, not sure. A person can love themselves and choose not to forgive. A person can love themselves and choose to forgive. I don't feel self love has anything to do with being grateful to those who caused us harm.