Length Of Masturbation

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by ghost0309, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    I'm female. And when I was in my early twenties, it would only take me 15-20 minutes to reach orgasm, as well as I orgasmed in quick, natural contractions. I was also horny everyday. Now, since about the age of twenty-four(I'm twenty-eight now, though), I find it takes me hours to get off, and when my muscles finally do contract, I really have to work to keep them contracting. A lot has happened in my life, since I was in my early twenties. I've been criticized about my sexual practices(seven sex partners; one of them slapped me in the face; another made me feel inadequate for never being able to cum during sex; two of my partners were addicts; a lot of the people in my family aren't comfortable with my orientation; was with a straight girl, who went back with her fiance in the end and the both of them treated me like a stalker; was sexually assaulted by my son's dad's ex-best friend) I've lost a child... I've realized I'm a lesbian... Could it be that my orgasms have become such hard work, because I don't have that innocence/sense of wonder anymore? I don't think it's necessarily on account of depression, because I still get horny every second day... I got pretty obsessed with masturbating, even when I wasn't horny, after I was with my first woman, 'cause she was that way. But I've even tried cooling it down to every third or fourth day, and still it takes forever :-\ Anybody else experience this??
     
  2. PaullyNormous

    PaullyNormous Members

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    Maybe you're stressed out. My wife has been under a lot of stressnand it's been a while since she's had one. I've tried very hard to give her one but she couldn't get it. We eventually tried doing different things and found something that worked for her. I'm not entirely sure of your technique, but maybe try changing it up or do something completely opposite of how you usually do and see if that helps. She in doubt, find a friend you trust and have them help you. It doesn't have to be sex, just touches and sensual play. I hope you get yours love.
     
  3. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    Thanks for the reply. It being on account of stress never occurred to me, but it definitely could be! Then again, anal play gets me having quick contractions where it doesn't take as long, so what gives?!
     
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  4. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    I've never had a friend I wasn't in some sort of relationship with, even if just a friend with benefits scenerio, agree to touch me in that way without sex. There is such a thing?? You have me intrigued...
     
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  5. PaullyNormous

    PaullyNormous Members

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    I wasn't going to suggest anal play as an option cuz it comes off a little strong. If it works for you, do it up. My twice actually has just been getting very anal receptive and had an orgasm from anal the other night. It may help. As far as a friend helping you out, try not to get involved and even try phone sex. Hearing someone talk about what they're going to do to your body could push you over the edge and might be four best one yet.
     
  6. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    Oh, I see what you're saying, as far as not getting involved with the friend. There's an excitement factor to someone you're not romantically involved with touching you. I had phone sex with the first woman I was with all the time. This was when I was twenty six, and I always had to lie that I got off quicker than I did. Anal orgasms are great, but I still miss the intensity of the vaginal ones I used to have.
     
  7. PaullyNormous

    PaullyNormous Members

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    Truly love making a woman cum anyway I can. My wife and I want to do phone sex but we only have one working phone. I told her we can do it through our Facebook messenger like we used to on AIM.
     
  8. PaullyNormous

    PaullyNormous Members

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    Something about using just your words to make someone get their rocks off is such an awesome feeling.
     
  9. ggib111

    ggib111 Members

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    Give it up for a while. You are stressed out. You are trying too hard. Take a brake and just don't have sex for a while. Do something else to get your mojo back. Maybe a good vacation if you can afford it to some place really nice. Also see a doctor.
     
  10. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    I can barely afford to eat, let alone a vacation, haha! What kind of doctor? Like a psychologist, or just family doctor?
     
  11. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    Plus my Mojo's still there, it's just being lazy ;)
     
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  12. Ellyzi

    Ellyzi Members

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    I also find it takes me a lot longer to cum than it used to. I am on antidepressants tho so that might be my problem. It takes me up to an hour sometimes even with a vibrator. where it would take me 10 mins for the first orgasm before.

    As far as a fix for it I don't have any suggestions for you. I try to just enjoy the process even if I don't cum.
     
  13. Flagme15

    Flagme15 Members

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    What turns you on?
    Do you have fantasies? Have they changed since you were younger?
     
  14. ghost0309

    ghost0309 Members

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    Ellyzi: Yeah, it takes an hour for me, too. I wish I could just enjoy the process, but I get so uncomfortable if I can't release. If I'm in bed trying to sleep, there's no way I can go to bed horny like that. I actually noticed the other day, though, that after a few days without playing, it took me an hour. Then, I did it the next night, when I normally wouldn't, and it only took thirty minutes. So, maybe, I'm not doing it enough. Maybe, it's not so bad to do it everyday, after all! I was under the impression that if you did it too much, you were becoming compulsive and were going to develop a problem.

    Flagme15: I've become soured on most of my fantasies, really. It's usually just girl on girl action that turns me on, but I'm getting tired of being treated like a lab rat by girls, so I don't even go out seeking them anymore, let alone fantasizing about them. Celebrities I like I fantasize about, but I end up getting too close and they end up rejecting me. You should never meet your heros or get close to meeting them, because they don't end up being very nice. Guy on guy action is another one. I've come close to making that a reality, but I was hoping it would be more of a platonic. less directly sexual poly amorous thing, where there may even be a child shared between us. But the two are just friends with benefits, and the one guy is really easy and not really into dedicating time to a relationship with anybody yet or to a child, and he's kind of shady. And the other guys I've found for the guy on guy action thing would only consider it, if I were part of the package. No, my fantasies haven't really changed since I was younger. I've been fantasizing about celebrities since I was about twelve, two guys since I was fourteen, and two girls since I was sixteen.
     
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