He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him. You two ganging up on me ?
His Father Didn't See Him......He Had Wanked Himself Blind......He Heard Him......Le Sigh...... Cheers Glen.
His Father DID see him says so in the part of the joke I quoted ! Nowhere does it say " he heard him Jerkin " you just surmised that bit ?? I was being Pedantic in retaliation for VG being a dick Le daft git
3 Cherokee squaws were sitting outside their wigwam discussing their proposed families. The first squaw who was sitting on a goat hide said that she wanted to have 2 children, while her friend who was sitting on her sheep hide decided that she was going to have 3 children. Suddenly the third squaw sat down on her hippopotamus hide and told her friends that she had decided to have 5 children in her family. Tell me when you start to laugh.!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god!, another one, yes, took about 10 minutes This is the dirty joke thread, not the lame ass dad joke thread In that 10 minutes, I could have made a sandwich, thus, you owe me a sandwich, both you and Mallyboppa owe me a sandwich You didnt tell the "joke" right anyway, should have been 3,4,5 Square of the hypotenuse (Squaw of the Hippopotamus) so no one else wastes time Can we get back to actual dirty (non dad) jokes please, I have a headache now, and no sandwich
What is the difference between a lentil and chickpea? Trump won't pay a thousand dollars to have a lenil on his face.
Four words a man never wants to hear a woman ask?Is it in yet?Three words a woman never wants a man to reply? I can't tell!
This one's dirty in a different way: A little boy goes with his mother to visit an elderly lady. There happens to be peanuts all over the lady's table so while the mother and the lady talk, the little boy starts eating the peanuts. After a while he finished all of them, so when his mother was done talking and they got up to leave, the little boy politely thanked the lady for the peanuts. "That's ok,' she answered, "ever since I lost my dentures, I can only suck the chocolate off of them."
A guy is getting married, but he has never had sex before and is very naive. His friends knew this and they told him that a woman's vagina has teeth and it is going to hurt the first time he has sex. On the honeymoon night he is in bed with his bride, she is ready for action and he does not want to do anything. After a while she asks him what's wrong and he tells her what his friends said. She told him to go down and have a look and he will see there are no teeth. He goes down has a look comes up and says to her " you are right there are no teeth, but whoever pulled the teeth made a fuckup with the gums!"
Dad catches his son masturbating and the son has come on his hand. The dad grabs his hand and says to him "look at that, that could have been a doctor, a professor or even a lawyer, stop doing that" Next time the boy finished mastrubating he looks at the come in his hand and thinks " that could have been a doctor, a professor or even a lawyer". He licks his hand swallows and says "o well let's give them another chance"
This is the only semi rude joke I know. What's the difference between your bonus and your penis...... The wife will always blow your bonus. I was told that 'joke' years ago and for some reason never forgot it.
The girlfriend suggested we spice things up a bit and play Doctors and Nurses. So I put her on a trolley in the hall and ignored her for 48 hour's.
Me and my girlfriend were on the sofa last night, getting all hot and steamy. She whispered in my ear "Shall we take this upstairs"? I replied "Go on then, you grab this end and I'll get the other"