I am really curious to know just how many couples that talk about swinging actually go through with even meeting other people? We have been in the lifestyle for a while now and get contacted by other people that are newbies all the time. You exchange pics with them and they talk you up forever like they are interested and then if you try to make plans with them to just meet in person they disappear.
I've never thought about doing it. If I had a bf that did, I would do it ONLY IF the guy in the OTHER couple was super hot and I was mega attracted to him. The other contingency as well is that I had NO FUTURE with my current bf. All that emotion fucks with my libido.
That's fair enough! It is never easy to find another couple that both of you find attractive in the first place. Even harder for us, because my lady has to be attracted to both the other man and woman for it to work.
We've talked about it many times, but it certainly feels like a major step to actually make the jump. Granted we've actually talked to a few friends about it, but nothing ever happens. Perhaps a threesome will be happening first after all!
Ads can be very misleading. We meet a couple who hosted house parties. The lady was very good at inviting like minded couples, and age groups. Very relaxed atmosphere. Small groups with anywhere from 6-12 couples. And a few singles, mostly guys, an ocassional single gal. They charged a modest fee, more for single guys.
All the women I've been with have either been divorced, currently in divorce proceedings, or widowed, but all the men have been anonymous, one-off, NSA dates, where I know little, or no details about their marital background - even though I know that many are married - often with kids & are simply in need of a bit of variety to spice up their sex lives. Being Bi, with a primary leaning to Straight, any sessions with other men are purely for physical satisfaction, whereas those with women are usually of an emotional nature as well. As a consequence, I can remember intimate details of every woman I've been with, as well as each & every time we had sex together, but when it comes to sex with men, I wouldn't even be able to identify the last one from a line up. Even with my flexibility as far as sexuality is concerned, though, when it comes down to it I would still prefer things to be on a 1 to 1 basis. After all, a major part of sex is down to mental communication & the reading of body language, in order to satisfy your partner best. With 2 partners, concentration & response is obviously going to be divided. Whilst I might consider participating in a threesome sometime, it wouldn't be something I would go out of my way to arrange.
^^^^ this is what I found in MMF. I gave oral and got oral at the same time. Uh !!! Maybe for some it is enhanced that while giving it's hot to receive, or when receiving to give. The case for me is that I couldn't enjoy either.
I can totally understand it is not for everyone and there is no way some couples should do it, because it would destroy them! It is not everything for us either. We do it together once in a while to act out on fantasies and have experiences we want that we can't do with just the two of us. It has caused no issues at all between us, has put no doubts in ours minds that we still love each other only, has not made either of us desire each other less and made our sex life with each other even better, because we both feel free to express our sexuality. We are taking a break from it for a while now, because it has lost some of its appeal from all the online nonsense trying to set things up. We have no clubs where we are and don't involve friends in our private life so people that will even meet you are hard to find. Lots of flakes, fakes and talkers out there.
I guess I was lucky to have lived in a large metropolitan areas. My (now ex) and I didn't have much trouble meeting people, but we did encounter our share of fakes and flakes. Fakes were usually single guys who pretended they had a female partner and then tried to convince us to take him as a single. Flakes were couples who were super nervous and either stopped communication or backed out at the last minute. The only advice I can give the OP is to just keep trying! There's also the option of traveling to a bigger city for a weekend trip to a club, or having Skype "dates" so that you can check each other out before making the trip. But you have to accept that there will be disappointments. My ex and I traveled across three states and we were the ones to back out. There was just no attraction despite there being a nice connection when we talked on the phone. This was before Skype though...how I wish it had been around back then!!
My ex and I would do this pretty frequently, I live in a decent size town and London is close by too, so finding folks was never a problem. We've since split up and I've been single for almost a year now, since all the men I meet get scared off by my liberal lifestyle!
Did it got any further than oral and did that help? In my mmf experience, I found that once the fucking started things flowed really well.
I can't remember much more about it. I wish I could. Since it didn't seem to appeal to me, I might have shut it down. With my degree of libido these days, I'm wondering if I should try again.
There is a massive swinging community in the UK. It is really very easy to find like minded people who are for real.
MMF is an amazing experience, especially 2 cocks in one hole, the feeling off two cocks rubbing together in a tight **** is out of this world, you dont have to be gay to try it....
Is dogging considered swinging over there? I don't know about the U.K., but here in the U.S. there are FAR more people who swing than I ever thought there would be. I travel a lot for my job, and it's never hard to find a couple to play with.
I love swinging, but have had a break as little ones got in the way. I was swinging up to 8 months pregnant. But want to get back into, excuse the pun swing of things. I just love the way you can do in a four what you can,t do as a two. We,ve been to parties and private meets. But hate it when you pay a lot to get into a club and there all "watchers" I could stay home for free for that. I do like the soft bdsm side of swinging.