I shit my pants in school.

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by Dark Myth, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Dark Myth

    Dark Myth Member

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    Yeah so I'm a bit of a health freak. Woke up one mourning and was rushed to get to school. Downed my vitamins and coffee and was about to eat my eggs and oatmeal when I realized I had no time. Crammed as much eggs in my mouth as I could and flew out the door. Got to college and was feeling kind of sick and didn't have much food in my stomach so I got another coffee to give me some energy. My girlfriend calls me and wants to meet me before she leaves school to go home. So I say what the heck, down the rest of my coffee and go to meet her.

    As we are walking to the parking lot I feel an enormous fart brewing. It hurts like hell but I try and hold it in. Eventually the pain is to much and I let it out. A wet gurgling sound escapes my ass, and my fart feels rather solid. "whats wrong" my girl asks me. "Uh I think I had a really wet fart or something...". My ass is incredibly warm and I run into the nearest building, which happened to be engineering. "Oh sweet jesus god please don't let me have shit myself. Please jesus please" I repeat in my head as I finally make it to the bathroom. I look into my shorts. There's a bit of skid mark but no gigantic log that I was expecting. Sadly I had to throw out my skid marked sponge bob boxers.

    So I walk back out to see my girlfriend sitting on a chair trying not to laugh. "whats so funny" I ask her. She points to the floor at a substance that looks like mud. Sure enough theres a little trail of shit leading into a giant puddle of turd near the bathroom. I had indeed shit myself, and the shit had falled through my shorts and onto the floor. Apparently people had been walking in it. One young fellow had stuck his sandal-led foot into the mess, lifting his sunglasses to look at his soiled foot before shaking it vigorously with an expression of intense disgust on his face. "Oh my gawd" I moan and run out the door. Got a cab home and didn't go back to school for 3 days. I still fear farting in public to this very day.
     
  2. relaxxx

    relaxxx Senior Member

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    I know a guy who shit his pants all over the hallway in grade 2 or 3. I think it might have destroyed his life. Dropped out, drug addict, went crazy, institutionalized for good. He's government property now...
     
  3. Dark Myth

    Dark Myth Member

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    ^ lol thats not very reassuring. Oh well it dosen't really bother me anymore. Well I tell my friends about it they get a good laugh at least. So it's good to know that my little accident brings a little laughter into this world, even if its at my own expense :p
     
  4. Dark Myth

    Dark Myth Member

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    True story bro. It's not something that i'm to embarrassed about, in fact I emailed some of my good friends about it so they could get a good laugh at my expense. My friend Chris read it at a University library and made quite a scene when he started laughing hysterically, while surrounded by stressed out students the week before exams.
     
  5. PurpByThePound

    PurpByThePound purpetrator

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  6. KewlJosh536

    KewlJosh536 Member

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    Don't skip breakfast and grab taco bell before class. thats almost an automatic accident waiting to happen!
     
  7. MayQueen~420~

    MayQueen~420~ ♫♪♫♪

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    Hahahaha...awesome story.
     
  8. r0llinstoned

    r0llinstoned Gute Nacht, süßer Prinz

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    haha i was feeling pretty down today but i laughed really hard after reading the first 2 post. Thanks! :D
     
  9. eggsprog

    eggsprog anti gang marriage HipForums Supporter

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    haha this post gave me a good laugh. although i do feel bad for you, must have been brutal at the time.
     
  10. GoofyGooberz

    GoofyGooberz Just Bitchy!!!!!!!!

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    That sucks but you know it's awesome you can laugh about it!!
     
  11. TAZER-69

    TAZER-69 Listen To Your Heart! Lifetime Supporter

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    That is terrible but so damn funny.
     
  12. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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    best feeling in the world
     
  13. funktastic

    funktastic Senior Member

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    shit man ... glad you can look back and laugh at it now .. but you must ve felt the worst at the time!
     
  14. May_Queen Brighid

    May_Queen Brighid Member

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    Lol that was too hilarious.
     
  15. etkearne

    etkearne Resident Pharmacologist

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    I am very happy that I decided to click to open this thread. Way funnier than I even expected.
     
  16. Dark Myth

    Dark Myth Member

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    Wow just got back here after a long lay off glad you fellows got a few laughs out of it :) Seriously though, be careful where you fart!
     
  17. Mike53052

    Mike53052 Members

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    I ran track in high school. Blueberry pie and chocolate milk in the school cafeteria for lunch. At about the 80 yard mark of the 100 yard dash, I sharted big time. Still got 3rd place. Just ran on down to the end of the track where it went out the end of the field which was only 50 yards to the locker room. Don't think anyone really knew except for the ones I told.
     
  18. jpdonleavy

    jpdonleavy Members

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    I guess since you use the present tense that you're still doing it and I'm sorry to hear it. I shat my pants once in grade school and blamed another boy whom I - well, not detested, but actively disliked. His father was a customs officer on the birder between the Republic of Ireland (them) and Northern Ireland (US). The problem was that when folks from Northern Ireland went down south to get cheap booze and cigarettes, the customs on the way back to Belfast, not only confiscated the swag but smoked and drank it. That struck people as a mite unfair.

    Careful use of mild opioids (small doses of codeine e.g.), will help you keep your shit out of the descending colon until you're ready, bro.
     
  19. Crystal_Nocked

    Crystal_Nocked Members

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    I'm gonna go ahead and file this entire post of yours in my TMI basket.

    But...uh...thanks. I guess.

    LOL

    Cheers
     
  20. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    i thought it was pressed rat...until the part about the girlfriend

    then i suspected rollingstoned
     

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