A word of advice

The brake is the left pedal

 

a word to the wise...i have dibs on stray girls from this thread

 

Never fuck a girl with your pants on and only your dick out of the fly. The zipper will break the rubber

 

better late then pregnant

 

don't count your chickens before there hatched

 

he who hesitates is lost

 

never stop to pick up a cute girl who is hitching beside a sign


...there is always a boyfriend hiding behind the sign...sometimes with a huge stinky dog too

 

That grass is always greener on the other side

 

Never hold a cat and a dustbuster at the same time.

 

if your back is weak...do not try to lift the tractor to pull out the cutting deck when no one is around to help

 

don't water the hanging baskets on your balcony standing on a swivel chair

 

better late then never

 

slowly but surly

 

dont fart in the car wash


...unless theres a passenger

 

If you are losing your balance throw one hand above your head.

 

If you suffer a case of brain freeze, just stick your tongue up on the roof of your mouth and it will go away....

 

Rook before you reap as they say in Japan.

 

It is better to copulate than never.

 

Never sneak up unintentionally on a coke user

 

Don't ever stick yer tongue up a cats ass......