Do not home school your kid!

I was homeschooled for the greater prtion of my childhood. We were definately shelter, and did suffer some problems because of that...my cousins were kept home, never taught ANYTHING and severly sexually abused their whole childhoods (and that fucker finally got put away) under the guise of homeschooling.

WITH THAT SAID...

Homeschooling need not entail abuse. It doesn't need to social constrict your children. In almost all cases, the kids actually learn MORE, not less. I am homeschooling my boys and any other children I have. They will be involved with 4-H, and reading groups, and also just go play with kids like normal kids. They will also have the freedom to be who they are, learn what they want (besides reading and math, of course, that is just needed) and i am confident they will grow to be well rounded, healthy men.

There are screw-ups in EVERY circle of people. Every race rapes and maims, every race abuses their children. Every group also has horrible and awsome parents.

And sorry, but you do sound just like most unhappy kids. I was there (in public school) I hated my life because I had no friends. I had no friends because I was too shy to get out there, but I was in PS from eigth grade up.

 

I have been thinking about this all night, and I wanted to say, the OP sounds like they have ALWAYS had social anxiety. I believe their parents did what they thought was right, if my child had such severe social anxiety, I don't believe I would put them in too many social situations. Obviously, this person has always had a problem with this, and homeschooling did not make it worse, IMO. Perhaps this person would have WORSE anxiety today if it weren't for homeschooling.

 

You're lucky to have parents that actually care about you. Imagine having these problems with parents who don't give a shit, where they just force you to go to school. Or if you were alive 60 years ago you would be in a mental hospital. Be thankful for what you have not everyone is so lucky. Try looking at the other side of things. Also you will find that most of the people you consider your friends in high school are really not at all. Your friends are there for you when you need them not when it is convenient. True friends take action.

 

This is the most appropriate response out of them all (and those that say the same)...

Homeschooling can lead to a loss of socialization skills IF the parents allow it to.

It is NOT up to the child to find ways to socialize while growing up... It is up to the parent to teach them, if they have chosen to homeschool them. That is a part of what homeschooling is.

Those that were raised at home and not taught social skills are negatively effected by it.. and once they get away from their parents, they will have to be responsible for learning those skills...

Having said that, when done properly, homeschooling is a much better way to raise your children... for anyone with a brain...

Some parents DO NOT qualify...

 

Eh, I'd like to homeschool my kids until grade 5 or so, while keeping them in some extracurricular activities, so they get to socialize.

Afterward, I think the merits of school are as much of exposure to new elements outside of your own parents opinions, and socializing with peers as it is about pedagogy.

 

I am now home schooling my 6 year old. She went to kindergarten and the first month of 1st grade. Our town's schools are AWFUL. We put her in a Catholic school in hopes of getting her a good education. Well, she was not challenged at all. She taught herself to her name (full name, not just first) when she was 2 years old. Needless to say, she is very smart.

We had some trouble with the teacher this year so we just pulled her out. She is now in a program called K12.com. It is an on-line public school. All I have to do is follow the work they give me to do. They have field trips where everyone meets us. There are 2 kids in the next town over who do this as well and they are in the same grade. So, we meet up with them. We have friends who have kids the same age as her she plays with. She takes 3 dance classes a week and has friends in those classes. We plan to get her to the grade she belongs in with this program, because you can work as fast as your abilities allow, and then put her bac in school at that grade.

I think as long as you have your child's best interest in mind, have a plan, and make an effort to keep them involved it can be a good thing. Research shows that home-schooled children are more successful in life because they get individualized attention rather than being ignored if they are either advanced or too slow for the rest of the class.

 

A year and a half later, After my original post my thoughts have changed.

I read all the replies, and I agree with a lot of you.

My parents did what they thought was right, and I am very thankful(now) for that. I have talked to my mom and dad quite a bit in the past year and a half, and they kind of explained to me their side of how everything went down. It definitely was the right thing to do. They did the best they could with the knowledge that they had.

But I also had to realize, that I could of put in more of an effort, to change my social situation. And get out there, and form more of a social life. I didn't do that. Though back then I would say if I could go back, I would change that, Now I do not feel that way, I feel as if it was meant to happen that way and I learned from it. Took me awhile to stop dwelling on the past. About a year ago, I realized that I had to man up and take action and responsibility. And that led me to where I am now. A hell of a lot better place than I was.

Now it's full speed ahead, I'll rest when I'm dead.

 

Congrats to you and your parents for hashing this all out. Congrats to you for coming to peace with how things happened. Good luck to you in the future. With those kinds of skills I think you'll do fine!

:sunny:

 

Soon2B4,
What state are you in? We are using K12 as well here in Oregon. The oldest is now in 9th grade a year early because of it.

 

It definitely depends on the individual. I was homeschooled all of the way through and didn't have a lot of friends outside of my church for a vast majority of my education. And I was as happy as a clam with it. If your parents weren't a part of any sort of social or homeschooling group, then yeah, you're pretty much screwed. The difference between public or private school and a home school is that in a public or private school, your social networking is already created for you. When you're homeschooled, you either create your own or take what you can get. Go to shows. That's what I did.

 

My nephews both suffer because of a controling parent!!!

 

Yup..... Controlling parents are the worst........

 

Would you rather that or to make so many friends in high school and realize no one really cared enough to keep in contact once you left? My brother was talking to an older friend of his and he said something along the lines of "By the time you're 21, you'll have like 5 friends. When you reach 30, you'll be lucky to have 2." Pretty depressing, but doesn't seem that far off really. Sure, you have acquaintances you see from time to time, but not real friends that 'know' you. Better than anyone else at least. When it comes down to it... I have 1 close friend. One! All my 'best friends' from high school either screwed me over or just said fuck it and don't talk to me anymore. I mean, everyone has their fallices (if I used that word correctly). You know, some thing you might do that people don't like or don't agree with but you don't realize it? I'm sure I may have screwed some people over just the same, but I'm a nice guy. Not incredibly talkative, but I know how to take a hint when someone's trying to throw it at me. Sometimes I wish maybe I would have been home schooled. Save me from some of the shitty friendships I had made. Teach me some of the things people need to know before you get hurled into the real world without a clue about taxes or how to balance a checkbook.

Sorry, guess I came in a little hot there. Basically, all I'm trying to say is, if you take a step back and look at it all... we're all the same. Might have grown up differently and experienced our past in life in a different way... but one you're out of school, it's all the same lonely, socially awkward hoping that you'll make a new friend somewhere that you can connect with.

I get what you're saying tho. Maybe not completely... I can only imagine what my life would be like now if I would have been homeschooled. I was really hurt when I left elementary school and was unable to keep in contact with all the friendships I'd made. Didn't really make any in junior high, just got picked on mostly. High school I made a few friends and rekindled a few old friendships, but I didn't have fun at any school dances and don't talk to any of those friends I made there now. It's just a ball of confusion we ride on.

 

My brother was homeschooled for a while. But its ok, he was an idiot before..

Seriously tho, I think school is a rubbish place for many. I think education needs more flexibility. And be less full of sad bitter control freaks masquerading as teachers.

 

Most of the home schooled kids I knew where very sheltered. One kid was on the swim team with me and he took a science class at the high school. I don't think I got much out of school besides the education. Seems it was mostly a peer pressure situation, lot's of parties and some drugs.

I would like to be home schooled by hippies if I had to do it again. Smart hippies!

 

I know plenty of messed up kids who attended school.