I hate my sister

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by NorCaliGreenFiend, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Visitor

    i wouldnt trade mine in for anything

    shes nice most of the time....and shes a bitch to me when i deserve it

    shes a perfect sister
     
  2. Bud D

    Bud D Member

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    My sisters live in other states and we seem to get along ok. If there are really issues then I would think it's time to grow up. My sisters don't invest much energy in the family dynamics anymore. They have their own lives and want to go their own way in life.

    I admit family bullshit can suck really badly.
     
  3. Bud D

    Bud D Member

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    Sometimes I get to hate the bullshit from my Grandparents. They seem to think that homosexuality and marijuana is a new invention of the Devil. I have a totally different understand of the Universe. Shit just makes sense to me and I don't require verification. I am the Devil and I am God and we enjoy battle within.

    They really got pissed at me because I said the world isn't any different. Sorry but there have always been gay people and I'd bet there always will be. Sorry but not the entire world is Christian, sorry Grandparents. Just can't believe that if I remained a virgin, didn't smoke or drink plants, that I would go to some heaven. I know I make my own heaven and my own hell, purely for experience to gain more power in the long run. Sorry but I don't want to live just one life or spend time with Jesus when I die. Jesus seems pretty weak to me. He killed himself by allowing others to know his arts.
     
  4. Fred64

    Fred64 Members

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    I understand where you coming from. My brother is the most hateful person, he is a narcissistic. He cares only about himself and will use you till he gets what he wants then throws you away like garbage . And my dad favored him over me.
     
  5. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

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    I'm frustrated with my sister at the moment, but for the most part, she's awesome.

    Even if she was a complete shit, I can't imagine ever saying "I hate my sister."

    Shes my sister...
     
    mysticblu21 likes this.
  6. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

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    I feel you, op. My sister hated me from the second I came out of the womb. She treated me like shit my whole life and she's stolen from me and abandoned her kid with me. She's a horrible person and I'm glad my mom sees it now. She finally apologized to me for neglecting me to try and keep my sister happy because she was a monster when she didn't get exactly everything she wanted. She found some poor schmuck to take care of her and her kids (she hooked him by getting knocked up right away) and moved to Maryland. I miss my nephew because I practically raised him but good riddance to her. Sometimes I forget I have a sister .
     
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  7. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    No sisters, 1 brother, he was ok up until he had a kid, since then he has like totally lost the plot and basically turned into his father

    It has been jawdropping to watch, seems to happen to a lot of guys, they have a kid, suddenly have to grow up, and just cant handle it
     
    Bilby likes this.
  8. Space-Trippin

    Space-Trippin Members

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    You better hope ya wake up with a female eating your sexual junk and realizing it happened yesterday so its all ok today... are you ok with that?
     
  9. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    3 sisters here. We get along super well so I can't empathise.
     
    mysticblu21 likes this.
  10. I do not Hate family or really anyone, have dislike for some but that is normal.

    I think the hater has to look deep into that strong feeling.

    Oh I pretty much hate guns....but that's it.

    Oh my sister passed 5 yrs ago from MS and I miss her, we were 10 yrs apart and very different in many ways, but sisters....
     
  11. rasta g child

    rasta g child flower power

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    wonA b w/ u.$.
     
  12. Aswwe

    Aswwe Newbie

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    My brother and I have a difficult relationship, I know what it's when you cannot choose a family and you need to accept your relatives as they are.
     
    mysticblu21 likes this.
  13. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    Siblings get on and off in all families.
    You seem however, to be in a position that has become too toxic to deal with.
    In such circumstances, one can only cut ties and focus on what serves you best
     
  14. Roy Halister

    Roy Halister Members

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    Don't lose sight of the fact that not all people are who you imagined them to be. Maybe your sister doesn't do it on purpose, maybe she just thinks her actions don't have any effect on you. I have experienced misunderstandings from my father. It was a long process when we both realized that we just didn't understand each other. When my father saw that he was doing me wrong with his actions, that's when he apologized. After all, he always thought he was doing the right thing, teaching me something.
     
  15. Toecutter

    Toecutter Senior Member

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    You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.
     
  16. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    I know this is an old thread, but I was surprised at how presumptive some of the first responses were. I suspect their authors did not have siblings that were toxic in any true manner.

    I have a younger sister and I have generally kept my distance since we were teenagers. My dad recently passed away and because we all took care of him in his last days, and then had to do the funeral and everything, I have had to interact with her a fair amount. In recent months she has done things that have made me very angry and other things that were rather irritating. She stuck her nose into places where it didn't belong. She wants to be controlling and has even discouraged my wife from visiting my dad in his last months of life. I have not been able to participate in many family gatherings over the past 2 or 3 decades because she made my wife feel unwelcome and constantly judged.

    I don't think she realizes how bad, demeaning, or offensive she can be. A lot of it is based on her damned religious beliefs. I will just do my best to keep my distance from her.
     
  17. Alonso376

    Alonso376 Members

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    Lifes too short to feel negative. Just go your separate ways.
     
    Bilby likes this.
  18. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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    Do you have any other siblings who could act as a peace-broker?
     
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  19. WOLF ANGEL

    WOLF ANGEL Senior Member - A Fool on the Hill Lifetime Supporter

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    Given that
    I think that too much water has gone under the bridge for the tide to be turned.
    - And when Religious beliefs come into play, attempting to interfere with one's individual mindset which gives Strength and Solace, is only going to end up in (More) tears ... IMO
     
    Mountain Valley Wolf likes this.
  20. Mountain Valley Wolf

    Mountain Valley Wolf Senior Member

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    My youngest brother has come to my aid over a few issues. For example, I have 3 Japanese wood block prints that are worth a fortune. As I lived overseas my parents took care of them, and they were very fond of them, so I always allowed them to have them in their house. There was a time when I ran into some financial difficulties while living in the Philippines and my parents sent money on various occasions to help me out. Through the years I have paid them back the money, in fact, you could say that I paid them back many fold. After my dad passed on, my sister took it upon herself to take over my mom's living situation, and they are in the process of emptying their place out, and she will take her up to Washington with her. My mom is having some memory issues and is dealing with the early stages of alzheimers.

    I went to pick up my prints, in fact, my mom suggested I get them on that day. But my sister immediately butted in with a firm 'No!' Those will be a part of the estate she insisted. And then went on to tell me that I had given them to my parents when they helped me out years ago in the Philippines. That was never the agreement, and it was absolutely none of her business anyway. I explained that those were always mine, and to make them a part of the estate would be incredibly stupid as they will be appraised and taxed. I didn't want to make a scene, and my mom, influenced by my sister and not thinking straight started saying that they had sent me a lot of money---yes, all together a few thousand dollars, which is nothing compared to the value of these prints. And nothing compared to how generous I have been to my parents since, and my wife too (even though she shuns family gatherings, she feels guilty about not being there for them, and tries to be a good daughter-in-law, and only knows how to express it with expensive gifts and money). I just left to avoid losing my temper.

    A few days later, when I calmed down enough to talk about it sensibly, I called my youngest brother and he intervened for me and solved the problem. But he told me that several years ago she had asked him which one of my prints he would like to have. At the time he said, I thought those were David's prints. And she answered that I had given them to mom and dad, so they should be split between us in the will. The conversation ended with him saying, "Are you sure about that? I don't know."

    We are not completely alienated. I will pick her up from the airport when she arrives in town. But as Wolf Angel said, too much water has gone under the bridge. The damage of what she has done in terms of my wife and my family cannot be mended. I have tried for years, and then a small comment, or a cultural difference, will be misinterpreted by my wife and she feels judged and demeaned.

    But even if the relationship was fixed, then what? Wolf Angel gets it. Any time I spend with her involves biting my tongue, there is a constant sense of being judged and the never-ending religious drama, and her attempts at control (never mind that I am the oldest). She has spent all of her adult life in small conservative communities surrounded with conservative Christian people. I am a liberal hippie that spent much of my life travelling around the world. She believes she is a Bible Scholar, and yes, if being a Bible scholar meant knowing what the Bible is about based entirely on the Bible and the Bible only, then yes, she has a lot of knowledge. But I can talk circles around her when it comes to the context of the Bible and the historical and cultural ramifications, and how it all fits in with global religion and the world in general.

    An example of her opinion of me, can be illustrated with a discussion we had last year while my dad was still fairly healthy. She was wanting to move them into a retirement home and one of the best ones she considered was not far from me. She told me that it is a respected home and the residents are all respected people who come from decent families so if I wanted to visit them, and I should often because I will be the closest, that I will need to be respectable because I will represent the family to all the other families there. I will have to cut my hair short and shave before I go, and I can't show up in t-shirts and raggedy jeans.

    I'm not a slob. I shower everyday. I keep my hair clean, I enjoy dressing up to go out. Sure, I might wear a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt around the house, and I might wear it to the store. But if I go out I may put on a fancy plain colored t-shirt and a sports jacket like Don Johnson in Miami Vice. Or I'll put on a dress shirt. I've got tailored shirts, tailored suits... But I don't care if they lived in the White House, I'm not cutting my hair. I'm not going to walk around like a mormon missionary.

    But there are impacts to how she tries to control everything. I walk the Red Road (follow Native spirituality), or as my sister says it, I am deceived by the Devil to follow his evil ways. When my dad's prostate cancer moved into his bones, I asked my parents if they would like to participate in ceremony for his healing. I explained what all it entailed and they agreed. We went to a medicine man to do opagi, or ask for help. After praying with the pipe he told us that we should do a yuwipi ceremony and then told us what would happen. We did the ceremony and immediately my dad started feeling better. They were so excited about the ceremony and amazed at the experience. I have seen so many amazing healings and other things happen in these ways. However afterwards, they were scheduled to go stay with my sister. Her whole family got together in what can be easily described as an intervention. They told them how evil this was and how it went against Christian teachings. They managed to change my parents whole outlook on the experience. I actually posted about this in the Animism section.

    In the end, it all played out the way the Medicine Man said it would. He was even cancer free for a while. But from the very beginning, I told them that if they do this, it is very important that once their prayers are answered that they do a Thank you ceremony, and that part of the healing actually occurs in the thank you ceremony. I could never get them to do the thank you ceremony. My sister had taken care of that. My mom will quickly tell you today that if they did the thank you ceremony my dad would still be healthy, she even told my sister that. But, what can you do.

    My wife's ancestors were healers in the old Filipino traditions, and she too has a gift that is passed down through her and her children. She has always tried to ignore this or avoid it, but in recent years in connection with my connection to the Natives, she has been coming to terms with it and has even started healing family members. She felt that she could really help my dad when his health started to deteriorate. She did a healing on him and my two brothers were present. They noticed that his color came back and it really seemed to help him, but my wife said that it would take several more healings, but she believed that he would be able to get out of bed and walk again. My sister put a stop to it. But even if she didn't, my wife felt a block coming from her, and said that it would be too hard to heal him if she was present, because she represents such a strong block.

    My dad remained very lucid and free of pain till the very end. He didn't like being bed ridden however, and so it was no life for him. The doctors and nurses were amazed at how pain free he was. I would say that it had a lot to do with my wife, and with the sacred pipe and the Red Road. My sister, of course, has a different idea.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2021
    scratcho and WOLF ANGEL like this.

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